a moment to remember

~songs in my head~

没有地球太阳还是会绕.

But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you.

I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah

~ MOTTO ~
:: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. ::

~ THOUGHTS ~
By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28)

For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.

"God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21)

"I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Hit Counters

:: juz taking a moment to remember ::

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 12:27 AM

no this, no that

no time to pause
i'm leaving on SQ tml morning
no time for a proper goodbye
such a rush these couple of days
no time to breath
too many things to tend to
no time, just no time
alot of uncompleted things
alot not done yet
unreleased emotions and letters/emails yet to be replied/written

*and i went to touchup my eyebrow today. pain! and my pocket also painful.
oh well. vanity comes at a price.

will miss my piggy chan. excited about the upcoming days! whee.. pls sms me okay and take care!

see you all soon
at foc

and OGD will be up with Collection 3 very soon! :)

see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

Labels: Our Gorgeous Days, why must we label everything?

0 wore their hearts on their sleeves

Thursday, July 17, 2008 12:23 AM

my running thots

typed these a few days ago...

sometimes the most understanding or sympathetic person or the best listening ear u can turn to is a stranger
(ie. some1 u met on IRC, which was why i like talking on IRC anonymously)
because strangers they dont know you and u can tell them ur entire life story, ur regrets, etc and they wont (or cant) judge u because they dont have a face and personality to match the stories
sometimes those who make u feel like u can tell them anything and they wont judge you, they are not ur closest friend/lover/family
bcuz the closer u are to someone, the more afraid u are to risk telling them something and have them judge u for ur actions/tots/feelings.. hence u bottle them up and hide from them
but u wont hesitate to tell strangers/acquaintances
the best kind of listener is someone whom u knw u can say almost anything and they will not judge u
in my life, i think wenxin wins the best listener award
she has listened so much to me, and i dared bare my heart & soul to her much more than to anyone else
because i know and feel comfortable telling her.. and she will accept what i said/done and advise me if need be...
she reminds me why i am where i am.. and the one time i dint tell her something whn i really shd, it led to a mistake/regret.
thank u wenxin for being my best friend

i dont know why
but i just feel i dont expect so much this time round
with low or no expectations one will never feel disappointed or sad
one will not feel as if his/her value is only so much
and i think i am more selfish than before

it is truly a blessing to receive more than to give more
maybe i had my way too much last time
or maybe circumstances are just not as 'lucky' this time round (oh what wld i give to have that kind of circumstance now)
that is why being independent is good and not relying too much on others
that way we will never be disappointed because we can manage ourselves but we cannot control others
when u become too reliant, u flare up or are affected when u dont get to see the other person, and it all happens cuz u acty miss that person too much
hence maybe i shall just learn to give more and expect less and be more independent
this way, i can feel gracious and not be disappointed
cuz i really hate it when two people start to compare what they have done, sacrifices they each made, and accuse each other of not putting enough effort, and of feeling that i am not worth your time/money/whatever
everything we do, the sacrifices we made, shd all be from our heart and we shdnt be calculative

i must never take anything for granted again
really, never
one mistake is enough for one to look back and learn
and now all i can say to myself is 'dont compare'
maybe sometimes the grass seems greener on the other side for some areas
but definitely there are some other patches that are greener on your own side
you just have to open your eyes to the good
and shut an eye to the bad

really, i will give my best shot, but will my best be enough
just like sometimes u want to score an A, u give ur best thinking with your best u can score that A
but sadly, sometimes your best is just not enough, and you have to settle for a B.

sometimes i wonder what if 30 yrs later when everything is settled, and den i find out that a certain trait is intolerable, what would i do and feel? esp if i have all along known it existed, but yet i either chose to ignore it, or thought it wont be that big a deal...
will i scold myself for being foolish and not let it go 30 yrs ago. or will i just shrug and try to live with it, since a decision had already been made.. and nth much can change anyway

recently i feel i dont know who to turn to when i feel emotional
thoughts will run through my mind
images will flash
i feel sad and nostalgic about leaving and starting a new 'life' again as a student
but i dont know who to express these feelings to, to get the kind of comfort i want...
i dont even know if i need a listening ear or just someone who will hug me and make me feel better
abt anything in the world
i guess i am bad with changes
once i adapt to something, i feel weird to change
i feel suffocated thinking about the upcoming future
alot on my hands
be it fyp, foc, friends, bf, OGD, graduation or what...
it just seems like i dont have my freedom and time anymore
as i grow older, more of me is wanted/needed
i need to breath
but yet i need all these to occupy me

what a dilemma

today:
just read this girl's blog.. she's the gf of the NSF who passed away during army training in Brunei.. i teared when reading because all her posts were so poignant and full of emotion. it really made me feel ashamed of myself in the past when i felt so much sadness and pity blah just because of a breakup... she is going through the kind of pain that no one would ever want to know how it feels, it is a worse kind of departure than what i went through. no chance of saying goodbye not because the person broke up with you, but no chance because he's no longer around. and it is sudden and unexpected. the last post before she posted about her feelings after the bf passed away, she still wrote '4 more days before seeing him!'.. and siting was saying it was just a difference of one blog post.. and i agreed, life is indeed so unpredictable and it is times like these whereby i really wonder 'What if it was me?' and i just shuddered at the thought of imagining myself in her shoes.

i feel it is not as cruel if the person is her husband because they would so-called have had the chance to get married and live their lives togt for a period of time. but it is really cruel to take away boyfriends/girlfriends esp at such young age (ie. 20) because it is at 20, that we often believe that what we have is true love, and we are full of hopes and dreams of the shared future, of getting married, of going overseas togt, doing new things togt, and most of all, just really enjoying the feeling and experience of being in love, and having someone who really dotes and pampers on you like no-one else would.

i remember back when i was really down over the breakup with zhiwei, i rmb consoling myself by saying that 'at least he is still around' and we are not saying 'goodbye' as if he's dead or i am dead. we will still see each other, maybe be friends again, etc... and now thinking back, i am really glad that it was JUST a breakup and yes, it is permanent, but nothing is more permanent than death. i feel really sad and sorry for that girl, and i think it is something that will really haunt her for a long long time to come. they were also togt for 4 yrs, and i can just imagine those memories, photos that are still around, and things that will just pop into her mind and jolt those emotions... just like how it was for me last time, but hers is worse because she will never have closure.. i wondered if the bf can see/hear her words to him.. i hope so because it is heart wrenching when two people in love are forced apart by something as unknown and uncertain as death. i bet she has more questions that i ever did - where is he, can he hear her, does he even exist in the afterworld (if there is one), etc...

and because i am feeling really shocked and overwhelmed by her sadness and the cruelty of this matter, i want to take this chance to say to noel chan:

thank you darling for being with me, as much as i may be moody/unhappy at times for no reason, but u have tried your best to put up with me. though we have had many tough times but we have seen improvements in our communication and the ride is smoother now.. theres still many many things to know and do with each other, and i want to experience those with you. somehow and unknowingly u landed into my life, very very unexpectedly but i hope that each time we see each other, it will never be the last time.. it will never be goodbye, it will be see you. be safe, and i love you.

and to my friends.. thank you for being my friends, esp those who have given me more support and love. :)

see you see you see you see you,
PC!

Labels: growing up, i have atrocious friends, if love wasnt so atrocious I would have stayed blind

1 wore their hearts on their sleeves

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 4:10 AM

i'm a workaholic

working up to 4 am is no joke.
i havent stayed up so late since God knows when.
but dont know why maybe i m not tired or maybe i just want to quickly see the fruits of our labor.. so presenting to you..
OGD's Collection 2: Colors of the wind
@ http://community.livejournal.com/ourgorgeousdays/3561.html
Crochet, psychedelic colors, pretty floral frocks... ahh i like many many too!

and i actually got an email from Mark (the MD) today. quite cool huh. haha.
hope things will chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi.

to continue with the rest of the TO-DO tomorrow.......

goodbye or see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

Labels: Our Gorgeous Days, whoever invented fashion committed an atrocious crime

0 wore their hearts on their sleeves

Friday, July 11, 2008 4:21 PM

alas, the last is here

Last night was the office launch party, and it was a great deal of fun and memories.
a very nice way to end my time here at DBA.
today, it was my last walk to and fro kandahar street...
no more complaining 'a long walk from mrt'!

the dress i wore today signified both a beginning and an ending
i wore it when me & noel got togt,
and now i am wearing it on my last day at DBA
yuan yuan man man! hahaa

unadmittedly, i really feel sad and nostalgic, even though the time at the new office is short, but i guess its not so much about leaving the place (tho it is soo nice and pretty) but leaving the people, and leaving behind my first-and-last internship, it was the 1st time being an intern, and also the last time i will ever be labelled intern. meaning when i grad nx time, more responsibilities and all.

-at this moment, i really feel as if the internship at DBA is a God-sent gift... we just went for a parting 'celebration' with cakes and some drinks and sufei made a very nice and heartwarming speech to me and johanna. i also had the chance to say my thanks and thoughts about DBA.. and then mark gave us our leaving gift (a Business Genius book) and a card, and i was vvv surprised with the pay given to me. i was like counting the 50 dollars, n hw come so many.. i can only say it is a very nice suprise and the $$ will come in handy for TW trip... and also besides these, they had alot to say, and we were reminescing about my 6plus mth long here, and sharon mentioned the cow with hula hoop and numbers floating ard it idea, which was eventually implemented on the packaging. :) and zul stil laughed at it that time :P

anyway, it was really very nice to hear the things they had to say; leni said they chose me from 6 other interviewees, katrina supposedly asked sufei do i really have to graduate? ahhaha.. then we joked abt them giving me a "graduated from DB' degree instead, and pay me big bucks to compensate me for giving up my 1 yr left to be completed degree. and that we have become very much of the DB family, and that they will miss me (sharon joked asking if i wanna work part-time at night, lol.. and i said yeah i wil quote them my rates and sufei can send me the PO) hahah. super funny lo they all.. i also promised mark to come back to visit and talk about possibly working here whn i grad.. sharon says i must talk to her earlier so she can reserve for me hahaha.. it has been really really nice and sweet and memorable... i almost teared... time just flies, and i wish i didnt have to say goodbye... -

i m feeling alot now. alot of sadness and nostagia. i am emo freak.

11th july, gd bye to design bridge.

come rest of the days ahead, hello to fyp, studies and waiting for graduation.

the photos of our office + yest's party
shall let pics talk more.

Woah i love the new sign. its huge and really pretty!

This is the old office.

really cool flashing lights of DB on the walls

me and chery.. she looks v young hor! its hard to tell her real age. (oops, hope she dn see this, later she 'hates' me hahah)

johanna, sufei, ee sze, me, sharon (beauties of CST haha)

i am so going back sushi tei, their food are yummy and affordable. this is where i will go for my bday then! i am gg to try this nx time. so big plate of sashimi and salad for $8.

DB,

goodbye or see you...

(really apt... we will know the answer in 9mths time...)

Labels: a woman's work is never done, growing up

0 wore their hearts on their sleeves

Thursday, July 10, 2008 12:47 PM

just because

email from NTU:
The University has decided that where a public holiday falls on a Saturday, the public holiday will be substituted and observed on the following Monday and there will be no classes in each instance. This will take effect from Academic Year 2008-09.

The public holidays on Saturdays and the substituted days to be observed for AY 2008-09 are:

Saturday 9 Aug 2008 – National Day
Monday 11 Aug 2008

yay, now i love NTU a teeny weeny bit. and i have 2 days to celebrate my birthday yeah. finally it is some good news from NTU.

go taiwan try to find hoodie..

this is very similar to the one i posted in the last entry, but it is just so-so after awhile..

lets continue my wish list...

i want the military blazer, its soo nice and perfect with black skinnies for a smart chic look

a light denim jacket, i saw some girl wear it, it channels the careless vibes i would like to give sometimes. haha.

a nautical necklace.

the top, will match the nautical necklace very well

and yay i got this maxi at a steal, its really too big though... length wise if i wear 3" heels its okay, bt if i just wear flats, it will help to sweep floor and contribute to cleaning efforts.
so off to the tailor nx week! :) but it really looks like something zara or mango will sell at an atrocious price!

and, topshop has grr888 sales man!! i am happy! :)

goodbye or see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

Labels: The more we study the more we discover our ignorance. but ignorance is bliss so we should study more., whoever invented fashion committed an atrocious crime

0 wore their hearts on their sleeves

12:55 AM

and she says.......

today's the 10th of july
one more month to my grand evolution into a 22-year-old with more wrinkles and less gd complexion and more stress and responsibilities
(then after 10th of august and all celebrations, i will return to sweet 16. hahaha. as if some Cinderella story right)
enough of self delusions, lets look at my want/wish/hope list for my bday. (acty it is also just an excuse for me to post many fashion items la)

FOR MY BDAY, FASHION GODMAMA, PLEASE GIB ME:

1. Striped shorts. this cost $49. who wants to sponsor!! i love love love stripes. i want a striped MINI SKIRT from topshop, but $73 is just as good as asking for a shark bite on my leg.

2. Highwaist denim shorts. it is everywhere but not in my hands. or rather not on my waist.

3. non-auth (OKAY FAKE) ferragamo white flats. $34 a pair. my black flats are spoiling but that isnt good enough reason for these. YET.

4. a white boho like skirt.although siting would say 'no1 buys/wear long skirts anymore' but who cares!! i love long skirts now. all the better that no1 else is wearing. hahaha. the feel of it between your legs, is..... wonderfullll. and i like what the guy is wearing. nice bermudas and plaid shirt.

5. stretching this wish list to the limit. called the Frill front dip dyed strappy dress. i can dream and continue dreaming cuz i dnt even know where/how it can be bought. but for 75 pounds, i would be consumed entirely by sharks.

6. a denim vest, because i m sure thats the next in thing. but my roomie will prob get one in japan for me, so yay.

7. wide brim floppy sun hat. roomie settled it with 1000 yen. muacks. (see, 1000 yen - est. 10+ SGD can get u a kiss from me. so cheap right :D)

8. ermm many other things i want la, like dior perfume and dkny watch and chanel bag in mustard. wahaha... but all these no need pictures.

so lets just look at more affordable stuff from HK site, 10-12 SGD per piece only.

it is irresistible.

trenchcoat with long sleeves, and a hoodie. yum. and at 10 SGD w/o shipping

hope i can get such gd bargains when i go taiwan two weeks later (omgosh its less than that acty.. so weird that its so random, fast and sudden.)

time to slp..

goodbye or see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

Labels: birthdays, whoever invented fashion committed an atrocious crime

0 wore their hearts on their sleeves

Tuesday, July 08, 2008 3:40 PM

whirlwind

haiz, i dont know what to feel
i am stunned
my mother went to book ONE week trip to taiwan for me, sis, aunt and herself
and guess what, its the week b4 foc.
i should be happy i am going overseas right
but dont know why i just feel stunned and sian
i hate it when people dont consult me and they just make the final decisions
like do i have any say
and its not like i requested or explicitly expressed that i must go taiwan
my mum always say say only how would i expect she really go book...
i am trying to be positive but i imagine us on the tour following a grp of aunties and go on boring temples tour and i dont know it just seems sucky
we are, i think, going Tai Nan, which after i wikipedia it, it says 'famous for its temples, historic buildings and snack food'... wah that is not exactly the most exciting because
1) i m nt interested to see temples, singapore got alot.
2) historic buildings, erm....... no thanks
3) snack food, means only go there eat and put on weight?

but i try to be positive and i surf on...
'There are over two dozen night markets of various sizes in and around the city. Regardless of size, night markets all possess an abundance of stalls selling clothing, shoes, jewelry, toys, food and drink. Some even have live entertainment.'
sounds better. maybe i can buy a dozen shoes like my sister did on her last trip.
maybe i can find a supplier to get clothes to sell on OGD

okay la i feel better now, since i never been to taiwan before, i shall just be more optimistic, even if really go there see relics, well at least i am out of singapore for a change....

bad thing, i dont have time to move into hall before foc. how ah how..
and it will stun roland i think...

and i will miss my pc!!

the email we sent to our msn contact list and the fact that we are publiciziing OGD on our msn personal msg is attracting funny responses from different pple.

first, noel's fren's sister commented that i look young

now, a long time no see friend/friend's ex (thk so! haha) suddenly sms me (and i dont have his number!) saying tht i have (and i quote) 'changed to a hot and pretty babe'.. to which i said 'that implies i was very unattractive before haha'. and he replied (once again, quote) 'lets say last time i look at your pic for a few times a day but now cant stop lookingthem all day long'.. wahhhhh that was spooky right. i imagine if i had a counter installed on OGD site, there will be like 50,000 hits but i dont know why we have so little customers.... wah see must buy okay, i am selling the clothes!! not promoting myself zzz hahaha.. its so weird...

and now i shudder to imagine what my friends are saying when they see me on OGD... must be laughing.. hahaha.

goodbye or see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

Labels: why must we label everything?

0 wore their hearts on their sleeves

Saturday, July 05, 2008 9:38 PM

everything i can think of

after a long day of taking photos, templates, editing, and alot more...
finally collection one for OGD is out! here at
http://community.livejournal.com/ourgorgeousdays/3155.html#cutid1

please get your friends to support! (haha i dont even know whos reading but its worth a try!)
theres lots of colors, stripes, colors, tiers, and erm, me. its abit funny to have so many of my own photos staring at me when i was photoshopping them, and even more narcissistic when i look at the site. wahha.

but the clothes r really pretty and i wish i can keep quite a few of them! my fav is Painted Lady, Tiger Lily Grey, both wic i kept, and i want Sweet Baby's Breath Pink, but but, i cant keep everything else theres nth to sell! and some pics look quite cock, but i like quite a few pics :))

Some sneak preview!

steamy steamy!

the top i like! but never get!

credits also go to siting and piggychan for OGD first collection!!

and as usual, it always pleases me to find out that the things i got are the inspired versions of hefty pieces that celebrities wear :)

Mine. what a unique cut out.

kate moss wearing YSL's version

some hollywood star

i am in love with skirts! i want a patchwork one, i knw its quite silly, cuz its like those patchwork quilts my aunt used to make for us for sleeping. hahaha.. but still, its lovely when its a skirt.
if only i can sew my own clothes den i can cut out scraps of clothes to put them tog!

next week is my last week at DB already...
so fast... try not to think about it but i guess i will feel abit empty and sad when its over...
thursday is our launch party for the new office..
and then friday would be my last day..
time flies, the 6 mths of internship that i was abit apprehensive about, is over.
its the 7th month of 2008 already
incredible... and surreal.

today piggychan asked me if i wld want to spend my life with him
he said it was a serious question
i love moments like these
and i said i am not playing the field... i wont be with some1 i see no future with
that explains why i din get together with dq also...
but yeah i do think we could live tog always (forever sounds too cheesy and its bounded only by time and not circumstances)
in fact sometimes i feel as if we are already married
like i go to his hse aft work, eat, bath, sometimes eat with his family,
and then we do our stuff, go to bed at 10, and then he sends me home after an hr or two of cuddling... (tht sounds long, but time just flies)..
so the only part that is not like married life is that he sends me home lor.
and i could pretty much enjoy this, just being at home being lazy, eating ben & jerry (wic he was eating just now and i cldnt cuz i m sick!! naughty piggychan for rubbing salt onto my wound!! haha)
but of course i think theres still alot to look forward to, trips to and ard singapore, trips out of singapore, and doing other things together.
3 more weeks and we will be back to hall tog.
its quite interesting! never had a bf who is the same hall as me. (duh!)
can spend more time tog with less travelling :))
yay!
i lub PC!

okay time to rest.

goodbye or see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

Labels: if love wasnt so atrocious I would have stayed blind, whoever invented fashion committed an atrocious crime

0 wore their hearts on their sleeves

on repeat mode

Leona Lewis Lyrics

mine

abandoned blog I
abandoned blog II

the past