~songs in my head~
没有地球太阳还是会绕.But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you. I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah ~ MOTTO ~ :: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. :: ~ THOUGHTS ~ By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28) For what it's worth, it was worth all the while. "God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21) "I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Hit Counters |
:: juz taking a moment to remember ::
Friday, April 30, 2004 9:58 PM
real cute he is... ok... here's what happened today... an excerpt fr huiyi's blog.. its all abt me. haha i m lazy to relate my embarrassing incidents today... "den met siewhOon to go changi hospital for vaccination 2nd jab at 130pm..den as we walked past e sea sports room , i updated her on me n him..den siewhoon went "har!?!!" den e pple sitting outside the room lOoked at her. this is siewhoon's FIRST har..please read on..ahhaha.got 2nd n third har 1..wahahha..den upon reaching east point..went to eat KFC..was hungry plus hot..hahaha..den finish den went to popular n walk walk ard it since the time for the appt is still early..den we walked to changi hospital..once we wlked in, saw serene , candice , aikmeng , aaron n dorcas waiting for their names to be called for injection...haha..den aaron keep sayin cold Jokes..den me n siewhoon n dorcas was frozen to death by him..Lols..den i say another thing ..i said " Ym n blah blah together.." den siewhoon went "har!!?! " again..yes is AGAIN..2nd time..hahaaha..den okok..den each of us went in..den sat down for injection..it cost us $65..ok la. since it will last for around at least 15 years..hahah..by e time coems..it likes duNno how old am i liao..lOls.. den the rest of them left early..left me n siewhoon loh..den i paid the amt den we walked bak..as we walk out rite..saw a bus stop..den we tink since both of us concession mite as well take number 9 to east point which is actually only 1 stop la..hahaha.but i go up e bus..den i c the destination is bedok interchange den i merely tell siewhoon abt it..den she went " har!?!?!" rite into e uncle's face. den e uncle went blurred..his eyes almost like dropped lOhz..hahahaha..cant stand siewhoon ah..she too work up today le..she har 3 times in like 2 -3 hours..hhahah.." oh another ridiculous tingy, is when huiyi n i went to purchase concession pass. cuz my ezlink card got the neoprint i took with jiaen pasted on it. the lady officer was damn ridiculous and law-abiding lolz.. asked me to take off the neoprint, saying by doing so, i had tampered w the card, and what she got the right to retain my card, ask me to read wats the rules writen on the ezlink etc. hy said we will remove it, can u get the concession ting over and done with first? den the woman said, no, u take it off now, if not u go liao, how i noe if u got take it off? -diaoz- haha~ damn funny, i was like stunned there... but stil insist fr buying the concession cuz i lazy to go elsewhr to buy just cuz of tis ezlink-rules-abiding officer haha.... its really damn ridiculous, biggest joke of the yr tt she insist we remove it infront of her... hahaaa i translate wat she says into 'eh, tis card does not belong to u, its MOE property, tis Ezlink, its SBS property, u haf no right to go stick ur neoprint on it, altho its ur face on the card, but its not ur card! so remove the neoprint tts trespassing on SBS property!' lolz.... damn funny!!!!! arh! today i finally took photo w him.. heee! so cute... and thers the baby smell on him too... he can bottle it into a bottle and sell it as a deodorant... lolz.. =) wonderful day... what else can i ask for? Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Saturday, April 24, 2004 7:36 PM
the sweetest thing you did was to hold my hand tightly and made me feel as if u never want to let go... hee~ today is a nice day lor... spend almost half the day w him... of cuz gd day lah... feel so gd... cant wait to c him again... despite having to attend a lecture by a william-hung alike professor fr NUS.. haha... i mean hes nt too bad la... but mayb what he says is too chim... but i took down some notes too... but he really dun look like a highly-intelligent individual cuz he appeared hesistant n nt so confident of what he's delivering haha... but then dont judge a book by its cover... v strange, i slpt like at 1 am last nite and woke up like at 7am today but i m nt tired now... den the past few days i keep slping at 8plus den feel even more tired... haha... irony or paradox of sleep??? hmm another happy ting is tt i just finally finished and accomplished sth tt has to b done!! the econs PW ... yah... what the hell rite... another PW... but its for econ... must do written report and ppt...!?!? but nvm, i haf done up the first draft of d ppt... hee! so proud... tho i thk i m just basically typing in the info i have fr wenxin.. haha... but hey, at least i did sth up... and help me revise my module 5 on inflation hor... cuz i must recall abt prices of exports and imports etc... haha... i say i nt blogging, but here i am... always like tt one... irony of myself... ha~ other private stuff i will write in my diary instead... so -the end- Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Tuesday, April 20, 2004 6:12 PM
beautiful moments are rarely captured. this may b bcuz they happened too quickly, too suddenly, or they r just too beautiful, and seeing it once will b enough. if u are able to capture them, then to a certain extent, they will lose their value right? hmm, what can i say? i'm a happy girl. satisfied maybe. still waiting for tings to get better... can they get any better? stressed but no one noes. most see the sweet n beautiful side of my new found happiness but many do not understand with it, comes responsibility, committment, guilt (choosing b/w him and my frens), time management, stress, emotional struggles, etc... everyday, i feel as if ther's no life... except studying and doing tutorials, attending lessons, reading up on notes, re-reading them, re-re-rereading... what the heck... haiz i really feel ridiculous tt life now is reduced to the following schedule everyday: 7am-5pm => SCHOOL, with over-abundant free periods in b/w but productivity is low due to the stupid hot weather... 6pm => once i get home, i honestly hope to b able to watch tv, go online, just read a book, or slack. but honestly, these are really nt possible. possible last yr, but if i want to get gd A grades, i cannot go at this rate... to get the grades i want, i figure my schedule everyday at home will be a continuation of SCHOOL (but the difference is tt its at home lor), doing of tutorials for a few hrs, reading lecture notes, re-reading what i dun understand, and basically all these sums up = STUDY. see what i mean? besides the <8 hours i slp everyday, every waking moment requires me to be tied down with some notes/book. every single free time must b devoted to studies if i want to 'aim and achieve' and excel. my life now in jc is simply ridiculous... but tho i say tis, pls dun b mistaken i have nv till now, a single regret abt appealing back to jc insteading of gg poly..i guess for most jc students, our lives are such.. at least for tis yr.. thank God jc is only 2 yrs. honestly, i m afraid. but i nv tell anyone... more afraid to show my fear out becuz i will then confirm to myself i m afraid.. sth lyk tt.. and if i cfm i m afraid, it means i am saying out loud to myself 'hey! u r gg to fail at tis rate!!'... mayb its kinda escaping fr reality ba... but den i figured i dun like to admit to myself or anyone else i am deep down really vulnerable.. today, mr reynolds's repeated reminder to reread 'the monk' is alr breathing dw my neck now... feeling panicky cuz most of my classmates said they have read almost halfway... (tho i duno if they lied in order not to get scolded or if tts the truth)... i m quite tired of tis life... everyting must b repeated... re, re, re-read, re-do, re-understand, re-memorise... and the worst ting is i duno whr to start... ther's angela carter, silas marner, the monk, edgar allan poe, a & c, rossetti... what the hell are we studying SO MANY books for one subject!! and for geog, i kinda feel the teacher is spoonfeeding us too much, up to tis point i frankly say i thk i m nt learning much, everyday just copy... i duno how to get A sia... then we will b getting a new module for geog... d thickness is twice tt of a normal econs module... i thk its at least 300pgs... no kidding... hai~ what a load of notes.... i wanna recycle all these paper aft my As... surely contribute alot to environment... haha! in d past, i used to haf time to read books for leisure. yest i borrowed a nice storybk fr sch lib. today i told myself i must surely return tis book bac w/o reading it. simply bcuz I CANT AFFORD to read for leisure when ther are tons of other books i nid to read or re-read for LITERATURE!!! arggghhh~ so u see, how pathetic is tis life? tho i grumble so much, but acty i stil haf a happy life now... everyday, i just thk of him... sort of a motivation ba... and even aft a long day, i noe i will temporaily forget abt all my probs when i meet him.. tt kinda of feeling is v nice.. like today, i cant wait for sch to end... cuz i noe once i see him, i will smile and all the day's toil will seem worth the wait... hee~ but honestly, i realize tt as time draw closer and closer to my exams, i mite face some problems ba... as in, even now, both of us everyday v busy w tutorials.. so i really treasure each and every morning n afternoon when we meet... bcuz we can hardly fork out other times to b with each other... haiz... so tts y i thk in d next coming months, tis situation will b worse off... but den "I will cross that bridge when I come to it" is my approach... zhong er yan zi, i will just try to maintain everyting at hand to my best... as the lyrics to a song goes.... "I'm not the kinda girl Who gives up just like that *Oh no*" acty one reason why i stop blogging is cuz its nt plausible for me to come online everyday... too much work to b done... but today entry is kinda unexpected, even for me.. haha~ Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Wednesday, April 14, 2004 7:18 PM
It could of been the way you smiled It could have been the things you said last night It could have been the secrets in your eyes That put love in the air haaaa~~~haaa~~~~ i'm a lil happy girl. i want to dance and sing and wave to everyone, and jump for joy... haa... ok, mayb i m exaggerating la... but i'm feeling happy... acty, i wont b blogging le i decided... but perhaps some entries every now n then ba, for my frens to b updated abt me! haa but those close frens of mine, shd noe whats happening rite now... or shd i say, what happened on monday... sorry if i din tell some of u la, haa.. today huiyi scold me nv tell her first hand info... but sooner or later u all will ask ba... den i wont hide the fact cuz i'm proud of it... its just tt dun nid to announce to the whole world ma hor? are u all happy for me just like i'm for myself? hahahaha.... hope tt everyting will work out fine cuz i really am sincere n concerned abt the outcome tis time... i'm serious... hmm, but then i have almost always been serious.. haa... jk la.. but tis time is diff ma... i wont let myself make the same mistakes le... i will endure n persevere even if tings dun work out the way i want... bcuz i noe things happen the way God arranges for us... tts the best... heeeeeeeee~ Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Sunday, April 11, 2004 6:10 PM
And now i know that i've have put the past behind, Ill let it go. yest went to john little sale at expo.. much tings to buy... some super cheap, some not v much cheaper than those found in stores. acty i wanted to buy one pillow one leh!! cost $9 only... tweety bird one.. so cute... it looks like tis: 
BUT!! end up i nv buy leh... kinda regret it now... cuz i bought sth else.. wic is what a girl needs to wear haaa... not a sanitary pad lah!! buy those for what?? haha damn cheap lor... if i had $1000 yest, den i will grab a handful of those... haa... oh i bought a facial cleanser also... $2 onli.. den went to bugis... wa.. by then, my legs already aching... and d weather was v hot sia.. den acty thers tis bag tt i like... BUT!! again, i din buy... haa but nv regret ba... cuz i dun really nid it lor... see... save $$ leh.. haa.. oh yah... den we went topshop... to try prom dress!! i saw tis hot pink tube dress so i went to try, but d colour din really fit me... so i changed into another less-hot pink haa.. i figured soo ling will love me v much if i turn up in her favourite colour.. but i stil din like wat i see.. den keep insisting tt i have lil tummy... haa... wx keep arguing say everyone also have... in d end, wx advised me to get d black 1 instead... so i'm bac to my original idea lor.. but nt buying yet... too early le ba!! but ltr if dun haf liao, den juz my luck lor... some other random photos taken yest at mos burger: (tis time not taken by me hor! haa) 
las nite i got insomnia ar! reminds me of those times with jx.. lolz... but he in army, so cant sms him... i cldnt slp cuz i was thking abt tht matter... xiang le hao jiu hao jiu.. finally, i already decided abt tht matter le.. hopefully, i dn back out tml haaa... feeling v jing zhang... cant wait for tml also... dun feel ready today.. haa... i hope tt my decision is a right one ba... but then, such tings... u wont noe till u try it...think i just haf to take a risk ba... i must stop wanting to b a perfectionist... its v tough... must just zou yi bu kan yi bu... stil cant really believe things have come so far... Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Saturday, April 10, 2004 11:49 AM
biggest zlk on earth... haaa. due to excessive boredom, and d realization tt d digi cam photos can finally b uploaded (yeah!! waited v long le)... i began on a massive, wild n crazily narcissistic spree of taking photos.. of myself.. what else? nth n no one at home to take ma... haa... so i thot i looked pretty happy n radiant in those photos... nvm if u dun thk so... or maybe my happy mood gets happy photos... but if u wanna tk a look, go to: 
Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 9:48 AM
i think tis is wonderfully true... The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. exactly what i hope; tt the damned past will stop holding me back... since i ve let it go, it shd let me go too!!! Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Friday, April 09, 2004 11:24 PM
emotional struggle, self-contradiction... a lil wonderful day today. its gd friday. God gave blessings too.. hee~ gd day... everyting didnt end on a joyous note... but well, at least both of us talked openly abt everyting.. quite a relief.. now its up to me ... not to let myself down, not to let him down, and not to let both of us down... really wished i cld haf jus agreed... but d past mayb bringing me down ba... but i thk i will figure tings out soon... i wanna things to b the way u want too... Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Thursday, April 08, 2004 8:20 PM
"Caught In A Moment" by Sugababes Your stare swallows me And I can hardly breathe I feel it's dangerous, Could be deadly Somehow I'm willing to do the things you want Take me in your arms Spoon-feed my heart and Drip by drip I'll take it all Sip by sip I guess that it's Make or break Boy here and now [Chorus:] We're caught in a moment And I won't let it go I am falling deeper, losing my control Involved in a feeling Like the blink of a eye And the silence it belongs to you and I Broke through barriers And passed a state of mind I'm not scared no more It feels divine So take me in And catch me when I fall I'm waiting on the edge Uncut my soul Snip by snip I'm oozing it Bit by bit I'm taking it Step by step Boy here and now [Chorus:] We're caught in a moment And I won't let it go I am falling deeper, losing my control Involved in a feeling Like the blink of a eye And the silence it belongs to you and I Secretly I let it slip Emotional I fall through it All I know I'm losing my control I'm down your way too far And there's no turning back And now I'm shedding all my fears I know, I know Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Wednesday, April 07, 2004 4:33 PM
i got no idea.. i'm baffled... but mayb tis's gd for the moment... omg again... met so many long-lost frens fr frenster... i rmb their names... but then their pics take me forever b4 i see a tint of recognition of who they really are... gosh!... esp the girls la... look so damn diff fr pri sch when they r nw with make-up on. look so grown up... lolz.. dun thk they cant recog me ba... i stil thk i look d same... or mayb they also feel i changed til cant recog at first sight.. haha.. sch as usual these few days... nth special happening... been having the blues recently.. haa... and i noe y actually.. haiz... anw, i duno what to say le.. i'm bored, a lil pissed (at nth at all), stressed, acty i duno also.. haha... just feel lyk letting out a big ~sigh~ haiiiiizzzzzzz! i dnt miss those days anymore... i hope tis time, i wont put my leg into the wrong boat again, or put the wrong leg into the right boat... haha... nonsense hor? just pray everyting will b "chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi"... Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Monday, April 05, 2004 6:32 PM
changes... everyone change at some point or another... OMG... tt day tis ger called fanny tried to add me in friendster, den i dun recall noeing such a person so i msg her and ask 'do i noe u?' den she replied me today... and OMG... she's acty beeling.. one of the frens i quite knew in pri sch!!! i stil cant believe wat i saw. cuz the photo she posted was of tis girl struting a pose presumbly after a makeover with make up n fanciful dressing. so at first i see no link why i will noe her.. but now aft a closer look, i do see a tiny weeny resemble... shit... thk i really haf some short term memory... or long term.. so mayb lewis.. its nt tt my memory is v gd, but ur memory is lil badder than mine! haa~ but then cant blame me.. cuz she change 180degree leh.. i cant relate her with makeup at all... i dun thk i changed at all.. haa... still tt me.. cut n paste since pri sch. tt prob explains why most of my pri sch frens added me, not the other way. haha~ hmm... most surprised.. but quite glad to meet another old fren again.. hee~ monday blues today in the morning... but those blues wer killed off pretty soon... thk i found a 'jie ya qi' (stress-relief machine)... haa... aft toking to someone... i always manage to laugh... haa.. who ask him to have such cute reactions... (do u noe who u r?) haa... thanks anw... i m tired liao... wanna have dinner.. mayb i wont watch tv tonite afterall... den can go slp.. but i m not xiao zhu hor!! Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Saturday, April 03, 2004 7:32 PM
i thk cotton candy is the last ting on my mind. a borrrrrringggg day... abit regret.. shd haf gone swimming in the afternoon... blame it on my laziness... sorry jas... haaa haiz... wat have i been doing for today?? NOTHING... damn restless.. duno y... damn slacker... wanted to go nearby mac to study... but again lazy.. cuz no one's free... den i din haf any decent meal today except dinner... (fortunately my mum always cooks!).. no appetite... plus.. i fell into a Cinderella-like deep sleep. unfortunately, no prince came to kiss me. so i only woke up aft 4 hrs... but i had some dreams la... quite amusing... i am thking too much... even in my dreams, i'm "dramatic". but i thk i wasted the 4 hrs.... cld b put to more efficient use.. but den its too late for regrets.. only read a few scenes of A & C just now.. gg to watch tv now.. lolz.. work after tv... strange hor.. usually ppl do hw den enjoy.. i am opposite... haiz... i hate it tis way... sinking lyk titanic... its gg to kill me soon if i dun exercise some control... Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 9:40 AM
just read lm's blog... lolz... v interesting & funny recount of yesterday... she said *hey erie..mark my words....'bao bei' n gang is behaving strangely..i tink sth fishy is going to happen sooon...lol...* haha.... u thking too much la... bb got gf le leh... haha.. must b u keep looking at them, then they look at us one ma... haha... and hor... u v silly lah... say its the happiest day of 2004... lol... told u u shd haf come tpjc... den everyday will b happy days instead of hell... haha... go read ur tagboard... my plans for today? all disrupted le... haa... so i guess i'm on my own... Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Friday, April 02, 2004 8:14 PM
happy n joyful... glad for him.. really... second entry... really happy fer pinky (cant name him here) leh... finally he got himself a target... den we finally finally are that kind of childhood frens tt share secrets le... hee! felt kinda weird la he bcome abit hua ci haha... but den stil v happy... tis is really the first time since i noe him sia.. i suspect he mite not b him... ha.. go for her lah... jie di lian is OK haha... find it hard to believe... but den i just know that tis day will come... Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 7:22 PM
time pass so fast when u dun want it to... today... i met up with leemei... then we walked walked for almost 5 hrs... powerful... but we cldnt get wat we wanted... hmm... keep taking photos with her camera phone... den she keep saying i ego.. haa... in other words vain la... but no lor... its cuz u refuse to take ma, so i must tk pics of myself... fun ma... haa... had a pretty gd time.. and we saw baobei!!! hee~ lm kept wanting to shout out his name... want to make me paiseh.. cuz she kept saying he n his frens wer acting weird.. -duh- haha.. and stil bumped into shaun, shuenyun & yong cheng also.. hee~ v long nv c him le.. oh ya saw emily n siwei too... den siwei asked me if only 2 of us.. den i replied "did u see anyone beside us? yah let me intro u to alex and benjamin" (den i point to two imaginery ppl) haha... who ask her to ask so silly qns... of cuz only 2 of us la.. den she expect jingjing they all to jump out meh... lolz... anw.. i asked him to meet me aft his cca... den i thk i kept bullying him thruout the bus ride... haa... but den his reactions always v amusing ma... den when he react, he will smile.. wic is my purpose la... he will surely bully me back soon... haha... but i realised time always pass v fast when i'm with him... never have i felt tt the journey home is like 5mins... talk talk for a lil while den i will b home... the conversation always seem v short... -greedy pig- but somehow the bus always seem to b extra-fast when i haf a companion. if i m alone, den the journey will b v sian... then the bus will move like tourist bus lyk tt... haha! hmm... wonder if he will read tis... haha... but nvm, i dnt thk i will b embarrassed unless he mentions it.. u better not hor! =) tts all i wanna say abt today... and acty... i wanted to ask him if he wanted to come out to study tog... but den he told me he got sth on... so nvm ba... mayb i will ask hy... but den i meeting jas to go swimming early morning lor... so must see how first... also duno if hy is free not... mayb someone already attached le wor... haha... thk she wil kill me if she sees tis... =p Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves |
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