~songs in my head~
没有地球太阳还是会绕.But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you. I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah ~ MOTTO ~ :: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. :: ~ THOUGHTS ~ By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28) For what it's worth, it was worth all the while. "God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21) "I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Hit Counters |
:: juz taking a moment to remember ::
Sunday, November 26, 2006 11:08 PM
exams are over and so far... the minute i left NTU after my 226 exams on thurs, i went to JP Scoop to buy the durian & green tea icecream!! i have been salivating over durian icecream for v long le.. but no chance to eat.. and it was so nice!! the green tea also.. very erm... green tea? ahha...the cone v crispy too! slept without guilt in the afternoon, and until noon on friday! altho' sometimes i still have tis weird feeling that this is all an illusion. i wld be thking "i gotta start studying and stop slacking after tis show!".. i actually feel lost without the books n notes... i killed a cockroach. yes! in my entirely life, today is the first time i picked up a cockroach i killed with the insecticide and threw it away, cuz i had no choice. i need to use that sink. of course, i had goosebumps la, and was using a plastic bag to pick it by its antenna.. i cried over one of my fav movies "A moment to remember" (hence my blog title), which i have watched more than 3 times le... i watched 2 episodes of goong and borrowed 2 books from the library and drank 2 cans of jap beer... and spent too much money... ate too much good food.. but well, all for a good cause.. the weekend passed too fast, sadly... it was soooo memorable... i still miss my fav pillow and the so comfortable duvet (its so cooling yet so warm!) 'kopped' alot of freebies from my fav hotel.. wahah.. i can hear someone say "cheapskate!" somewhere.. waha.. but all that to remind myself of the wonderful stay till the next time we meet.. waha.. took alot of photos.. the xmas trees at orchard road are v nice! the decorations and lightings are rather so-so leh.. but i quite like the xmas atmosphere.. makes me wan to wear the xmas hat and listen to "jingle bells" and "santa claus is coming to town".. will post the photos soon, i guess.. bought my pullover finally.. i saw it i thk a few mths ago from converse, but that time they din have my size. now they were on sale, 3 for $50.. yay, so happy.. but there are still many many nice tings i tried on (like tis tube dress) and saw (like this corduroy covered square-ish bag that is v big like the 1 i have now!) that i covet! if only santa was real.. i have a long list man.. hahah... also watched casino royale, i thk david craig acted really well, his character seemed to be like super-stamina man, he can run nonstop and fight so well.. but the movie was abit too long for my liking, considering i never ever watched any james bond movie before (yah.. v suaku rite?) haha.. so after the 2nd hr, i was whining already and squirming ard in my seat.. also watched some miss swan clips, wah, i really feel like slapping her lah.. she is like a total idiot.. if i was the salesgirl serving her at starbucks, and she asked me "whats the diff between hot and iced coffee?", i wld like to pour hot coffee on her, followed by iced coffee, so she wld get the meaning literally... slap her arh!! kc actually emailed us the breakdown of our scores liao! wah, super stressed. i hope i m not the lowest scorer of 56.. the exam was only last thurs and den now he mark finish liao. imagine those ppl stl having exams, and here we have a breakdown of score liao.. -_- but i must say he did it in a v humorous way, and i admire him for his wittiness and his ability to make digs about himself.. haha... going out with wx tml.. nid to cut down on my expenses abit.. yet i will be vv bored if i dn go out leh.. i dont look forward to this friday... its going to be a sad weekend.. sigh.. and sometimes moving back home is a big hassle, all the clothes n things i have to bring to-and-fro just drives me crazy. argghh.. and my mother celebrated her bday w/o me last mon! :( i am so bored i dunno wat to blog liao lah.. wait for my pics den... Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Wednesday, November 22, 2006 7:45 PM
random again (naggy too) this dream.. i must post here.. haha.. just now during my afternoon nap, i dreamt of horse!! it was a scandalous dream. haha for some reasons i discovered photos of her and her 'bf' (no la not hd, its someone taller and i guess better-looking? lolz but duno who.. but in the dream, its some1 fr hall also) in the photos they were hugging n kissing la.. oops.. so i was v shocked. so i wanted to tell the rest i confirmed she got bf liao (arm arm! haha). but anyway now i thk abt it, maybe the guy was supposed to be hd, just that he din look like hd in the dream. but den turned out tt every1 in csbs also found out le, den horse was still trying to act innocent haha.. den we went to her room, supposed to celeb her bday! den i use the lighter to light the candles, but the lighter 'lit' up the liquid inside and had a mini sparkle-going-to-explode look, so i brought it outside her room n it exploded! the lighter was laona's.. duno y he was der. haha. but anyway the explosion scared some ppl, incl their baby outside. so i was feeling bad. then when i came back in, the room become 7-11 leh! i had to help some men look for "espirit" magazine (since when gt such a magz!) and then i bumped into victor! haha.. weird leh tis dream.. 2nd dream, i was q-ing to bath.. and i wondered why must queue up, so many ppl wan to bath meh.. then turned out the toilet in hall become super duper high tech, and that was a trial lah.. they built a prototype toilet to test a new system. whereby u are given credits to use, and then after u finish, they will calculate e amt of water u used, and then duno why the screen (like those carpark system) will flash an amount to pay. i rmb mine was like $5+!! omg imagine so ex! anyway, the coolest ting was that u go inside the toilet wic is super spacious, the temperature of the water is adjusted by touch screen sensor leh.. on the left wall is the sensor for hot water, and on the right is for cold water. since i m a hot-water type, i keep touching the hot water sensor and i rmb it was soooo hot man! the whole place steamed up, den after finishing, i realized some of my clothes is in the nx door toilet! omg.. but somehow i stil got my tpjc uniform n towel to wear to go get those back.. -_- i quite like the toilet leh, altho it wil be atrocious to charge us so much or give us credits to use (haha like my sch's printing system.. so we must bath less..) haha when i have such interesting dreams, i really like dreaming! :) anw, i dont know what or how to study for tml paper.. i kinda starting to feel lost leh. its e end of another sem, i m gg to 2nd half of yr 2 soon.. going to be '21' soon.. and i thk i have no reason to come back hall leh.. except for foc.. so my room will 'fa mei'.. weird but i start to look forward to registering and getting my subjects for nx sem.. i hope will be able to take electives w my frens again, its kinda fun! i am just quite scared to see my results.. i thk it will come out before xmas rite..hmm.. i kinda miss some things, miss some people.. i dont know why i always feel lost after 1 sem. i rmb asking myself at the end of last sem, whether the friendships in hall will stay, whether things will be the same even tho' some things may have changed.. now i guess i have an answer for this sem liao.. this sem has been fun, abit awkward at times, but i still have friends to eat with, and study with.. and my roomie is ard more often too.. but i find myself wondering abt the same ting for the next few sems.. knowing some friends are v off hall and are gg to leave hall le, i wondered why some things can change so drastically.. some things, i wish they din go in a certain direction.. then things mite have been better today.. but den again, it may be more dangerous if a volcano dont erupt and warn ppl abt its danger, and instead lie dormant n u nv know what to expect. and when i thk abt us cs gang gg to diff majors in yr 3, so tt means nx sem is our last sem 'tog' (considering we dn haf to take tt many cs modules, and frog may be gg to NUS for partial..), i just feel sad, and scared. sad we cant help each other out, n support one another in study groups.. scared we mite not be so close and that we may have to deal with those other snobbish ppl in cs whom we cant really click with (ok most o them are ok i guess..) enuff of these thoughts... some things i wanna do in holidays:
no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Tuesday, November 21, 2006 5:34 PM
cant help but feel like i wanna hit myself on the head for flopping that 50 marks qns for 203 today argggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh is all i feel i really dont wan to see hedwig next sem... Lord pls let me get a decent grade p.s: i only realized it was an open book exam 30 mins before the paper. not that there was any use since its a see-&-do paper. feel tired but dunno why (SURPRISINGLY) cannot sleep feel that time has indeed flew. from last sem's ending of exams to this sem's ending. still remb horfun cooked the potato soup for us and we cooked some other food for csbs.. hmmm.. so fast.. i still remb myself deliberating whether to take drama and add/drop add/drop so many times.. i m glad i overloaded. i think. see my grades den say. feel relieved. one more paper. open-book. kc emailed us and he said.. "I have attempted to fly back to see all of you suffer on 23 Nov but unfortunately for me, there are no flights that can take me back in time. I will be somewhere between Washington DC and Tokyo when you are enjoying my paper.Remember not to write TOO MUCH. stick to plus minus 400 words per question, get to the point." muhaha.. so "funny" huh.. see us suffer... i think when i m taking his paper this thurs, i will kinda be enjoying it lah.. i start to thk that its nt the exam that sucks.. its the pre-exam and post-exam.. pre cuz u haf to study til u wanna puke, post cuz u want to hit urself after enlightenment (see above. - why cant i get enlightened DURING the exam?) i think i decided i will put advertising n PR as my 2nd choice rather den EMB. i dont thk i will survive v well in EMB not in the course, not in the industry. i dont wanna start as a production assistant being thrown with all the paperwork and coordination, i dont want to write those channel 8 dramas cuz i m pretty sure i will have themes to follow.. like family, encourge baby-making, etc... and i m pretty sure i cant come up with anyting really good despite my criticising. aha.. see, where got ppl lambast oneself? my cognitive senses are failing liao lah.. my body system too.. that explains the constant headache and ah chooing. need to recover.. want to go out with my crazy friends. wan to talk nonsense and shop for nonsense and eat nonsense and read nonsense and do nonsense. what a garbage bin i want to turn into. a blues entry. Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Monday, November 20, 2006 7:16 PM
must bear with this i just cant wait for thurs, and even more so, friday and sat.. cuz we have a free stay at intercontinental again.. my fav pillow, here i come!!! i have reach this stage whereby after the papers, i just.. duno what to feel anymore. like today's 229. its so hard. i made a wise decision to SU it. i only hope i will get S. tml 203, its one of the papers i fear alot. cuz its like there is no right or wrong in a way. i just hope hedwig will mark more leniently. the thought of failing any subjects first came to me in this sem. so scary. i don want to da bao any. nor do i wan to get a C. but somehow i feel i cant escape the C fate this sem. maybe can see it in 2 ways. a) i m being pessimistic. but i think its b) i gt so much bad CA grades for 203 that i dont dare to hope that a 30% subjectively-marked paper cld help me by alot. still, pls let me go thru!! I will work harder next sem.. (but then again, i worked v hard tis sem, so i dn feel i deserved it lah) 2 more papers.. no 'hard-core' memorizing like 201.. so its nt that bad really!! pull urself tog!! these few days will pass v fast.. and then it will be home sweet home.. goodbye hall.. at least for 2 weeks.. hmm, need to reshedule my dental appt cuz clash with my optophram job.. Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Sunday, November 19, 2006 7:19 PM
wisdom i just got very inspired by the bible. Philippians 3:13 says that "forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead" i should do that guilt is a burdern God never intended His children to bear. i should let go and not be a foolish man. and attain a wise forgetfulness based on Christ's atoning sacrifice. - quoted from the daily bread Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 10:13 AM
a story comes to mind... once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl who were best friends. the guy fell in love with the girl long ago, while the girl was in love with his good friend, and they were tog. some time later, the girl broke up with the bf, and came to realize her best friend was the right one all along. so the boy and the girl became a couple. one day, on their 'first date' as a couple, they went to pasir ris park. it was kind of awkward, because suddenly they didnt know how to behave towards one another. the guy was very close to holding the girl's hand, but it didnt happen. then rain fell, and they seeked shelter under the roof of one of the closed shops. then rain stopped, and they went to sit near the sea. the girl saw an aeroplane in a certain direction, and pointed it out to the guy. the thing was, it happened as if the girl was trying to divert the guy's attention, so she could lean in to him.. or something like that.. i forgot le.. the girl was very embarrassed and was afraid the guy would think she did it on purpose. the girl told her female friend and this friend laughed at her. teased her. well, it is funny the way she described it. even today, that friend still laugh when she brings that up. "aye, ni kan, fei ji leh!!" (arms up in the air pointing to a certain direction) Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Saturday, November 18, 2006 1:16 AM
travelling back in time "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world." suddenly, this quote came back to my mind today. i still remember someone said it to me before. its really sweet. it made me smile. sometimes its just odd why some things never leave my mind even after years. but if i think about it again, they are all in the past now. things can never be the same again, as he said. still, it was a nice memory. Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Friday, November 10, 2006 11:01 AM
bored i m typing this at cati lab there are 2 girls printing mad stuff. pdf format. 30 pages of duno like 5 pdf and the printer is just freaking slow! arghh waste of time. i just want to print 229 to hand up! last lap liao. anyway, there are 2 papers i must study hard for.. but so little time. sighhhhh and how to cramp forensic and communication scholars tog in my tiny brain? i thk i gotta leave 203, 229 and 226 till day before the exam liao. my motivation is that everything will be over in 2 weeks' time. then i can go vivo city. can go sentosa. can work and get $$. can go out with those i want to go out with. and maybe entertain those i dont. haha. jk. can go home see what my sis bought from thailand for me. can rest. can sleep at ten pm and wake up without alarm. on hindsight, last nite i was pondering how this sem passed actually its nt that fast like it flew cuz i rmb all the tiny details of the tedious times, the starting when we first open indesign, wic we nv heard or used before. when we was petrified by hedwig, when we started doing the editing and sound assignment and then the camera assignment for 229.. all these made me feel like it has been a long journey. although this sem is like so stressful and my grades have been really damn shitty but i guess i really learnt alot more hands-on than the past yr of theoretical learning. of cuz there are things i wish i cld have learnt more such as handling the DV camera and editing. but guess i m nt that technical a person. overall, i wld say this sem only spurred my interest even more towards journ and magazines. i only hope i can get the major i want. Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Tuesday, November 07, 2006 8:24 PM
relieved i almost had 2 heart attacks today. got back 203 trend story and 226 GA3. and its like freaking scary for 203 cuz she called out everyone's name one by one during lecture. i am abit disapponted w the grade, considering i really put in so much effort in the legwork and everything, but still its a more decent grade compared to wat i have been getting. and for 226, its not a WOW grade. but its a grade tt i can at least say more or less makes me feel like the hard work and late nites i put in were justified. altho i cant say tt by end of tis mod, i fully understand everything abt layout and hw to use space, but its a start, cuz it increased my interest in desktop publishing. 229 left.. but i m quite sian w it, cuz i SU it so the time i m putting in now is total waste of my productive time, and will nt help in my grades for other subj. sigh. and today feel quite bothered inside the editing suite. anyway, yest i had a nitemare, that i quarrel w leemei, cuz she kept playing afool.. asked the teacher to give me tings to do and keep 'kp-ing' lah, and den she said i shen jing bin.. and i thk i shouted v loudly sth like ni 3 ba po, or sth lah.. wahaha.. so farnie now. and she was vvv angry cuz every1 turned ard.. she was like 'hw cld u scold me tt?' haha.. and i dreamt that me n caddie bcuz of FOC had to go to the stage do tis dance to self-intro ourselves as main comm lah! every1 else had their turn so it was only 2 of us.. wah damn paiseh! aha. so we keep prac infront of mirror.. reminds me of the cheerleading days. wahah.. Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Monday, November 06, 2006 11:59 PM
of desires and wants.  i want tis!! why din they have tis when my hp spoilt 3 mths ago!? sian.. suddenly i gone back to the sec 4 me when i was so gian for a flip phone cuz of those japanese shows.. haha.. flip open, hello hello, flip close. ji cool yi xia.. and this sudden desire also reminds me of someone.. 52639.. who wanted to buy me a samsung flip phone then.. hmm.. haha.. sigh.. but the reason i wan it now is nt just cuz its nice, but cuz someone else has this too.. hehe.. someone buy me this for... erm... being nice! wahah... Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Sunday, November 05, 2006 5:50 PM
sad. at the airport yest the scene was like out of those chn8 drama. wave endless goodbyes, tears, hugs and then its all over. i dont ever wanna send anyone off le lah. when i find myself not crying, i tot "ok, so i am quite strong afterall." and maybe her going away is nt that impactful as i imagined. then as she disappeared from view, i started crying away, and realized that i wasnt strong, but i was only trying to control myself earlier. i still feel v sad thinking that yest was the last hug, the last goodbye, last time seeing her, its almost like she's leaving and we nv were frens.. haiz.. maybe the best way to forget is to pretend.. pretend she is still a call and sms away pretend she is not far away in Sans Francisco and we can still go out take neoprints and that she would still buy me flowers suddenly and make the whole atmosphere very cheerful and energizing.. haiz.. but thking abt it, each of us only have to miss her. but she has to miss all of us. worse feeling rite? goodbye rachel, i miss u lots. Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Friday, November 03, 2006 11:54 PM
have you? have you been scolded 'ni hen fan' (leh) by someone? if you have, you will know it hurts. although it was out of a slip of the tongue and frustration, its the first time i believe, that someone said that to me. disbelief overcame me. its abit hard to not grudge. but then, i did more wrong before. so this shall be treated as tiny weeny part of wat i deserve to compensate back. i guess there is a first time for everything good, and everything bad as well. Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 11:26 AM
random thoughts. Sometimes i cant bear to read wat i write. not talking about academic writing. more like diary entries and blog archives they make me cringe sometimes not becuz of the style or whatever but the content to remb bad things is not a very comfortable feeling yet sometimes i feel i need to confront myself with that reality to remind myself that things are not erased as easily as with a duster on a blackboard. tomorrow is THE day. rachel is leaving. i... just feel so... uncertain.. and sad... like wat caddie wrote in her blog, i wonder when i will nx see her, how many more times will i get to c her, and whether anot i can even get to meet her alone anymore in this lifetime. since every1 will wan to meet her if she does come back. and tho she said she wanna come back to Singapore to stay here nx time, when is the next time, or whether its really going to be so, is also a question. by then, maybe she will come back with 2 ang moh kids in tow. wahah.. with blue sparkling eyes, yeah.. nevertheless, there is such a thing called technology.. maybe i cld buy a webcam so can communicate w her.. but anyway, wishing her all the best in her new home. and maybe i can visit her when i get to go Sans Francisco someday. btw, i had a scary dream! i dreamt that i have 201 and another exam on same day. (currently, its 201 and forensic tog). but then in d dream, the bates guy announce in edventure that the forensic sci exam is changed to on this day that i have 2 exams cuz the previous date, there were alot of people who complained they have many exams or watever. so i was like WTH! i have 3 exams in 1 day? 9-1, 1-3, 5-7?? i was like ohhhh noooooooooo.... and the 1st ting on my mind when i woke was, "is this a dream? shd i go edventure check?" see, exam stress getting to me. haha.. think i mite change my blog in dec.. seems like every hol i do sth to it.. but livejournal seems nt bad, cuz u can actually make ur entries private, public or visible to friends only. the thing is i dn wan to 'leave' my current blog cuz it has a long history! and i realize i will be 21 years old next year.. omg, its 5 years since like i tot i cld never fall for some1 else again, haha, how silly that thot was. and its just freaking scary if u think tis way: 5 years is half a decade. 5 years since PRSS days, the days i wore my green uniform, and sat beside the bookshop during recess, and always ran to school. my poor sec sch has been renovated.. haiz, still rmb the last time i went to visit the building, it was so full of memories, of fondness yet sadness.. life is going too fast! Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 2:51 AM
FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY i cleared my GA3 for 226. omg. i did it. i did 12 pages. and a bloody 3 page self critique. i tot it was madness when i heard abt this assignment. i still think it is. but watever. i feel.. relieved and satisfied. pray hard hard i will get rewarded pls!! on to my 2000 word essay now. and sound editing for 229 and then exams and then holidays I CAN DO IT!! don't worry too much, just do my best... *each failure is just a way of moving forward its a learning experience* Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves |
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