a moment to remember

~songs in my head~

没有地球太阳还是会绕.

But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you.

I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah

~ MOTTO ~
:: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. ::

~ THOUGHTS ~
By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28)

For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.

"God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21)

"I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Hit Counters

:: juz taking a moment to remember ::

Sunday, December 27, 2009 8:48 PM

the year end post - a long read ahead

every year, somewhere along after christmas to the last few days of that particular year
i will start to feel bleak and emotional and i find writing/blogging a huge cartharsis
a large part of me wishes for the last days to just breeze past so that i will find myself in another new year
and think to myself its another year of hope, dreams and to-dos
another part of me always find myself thinking lots about the past
what kind of person i have become
how has things shaped me
whether im in better shape or worse than the previous year
hoping that this year has been worthy
hoping that the next year would propel me to greater heights
its always interesting to go back and read about what i wrote during the end of each year
recapping on the 365 days that made up 2007, 2008 and now 2009

let me see
2009, if i could rate it like a movie, i would give it 2.5 popcorns out of 5
for better comparison, i think 2007 was the worst year of my life (1.5 popcorns out of 5)
that year's breakup and the aftermath i had to go through is the incident in my life that was the most painful and something i would like to erase
actually this year was not so good for me because there were too many uncertainties
it was a transition, from a student to a working adult
and it was not a smooth and easy transition
infact i find myself still grappling with it

there were many ups and downs
my fyp... the tough days of my last semester, late handing in our fyp report, thunderstorm on the day of our international women's day run, it all seemed so long ago but it was only this march.
in april, i started my first real job.
it was tough, the place was ridiculous, but i learnt alot, i did things that i might never do again. i ate more longjohnsilvers than i ever did after i turned 15... and i met some people whom im really glad for...
in june, there was another breakup. it wasnt as ugly as the 2007 one but i too, learnt from it. what i wanted, what i needed, and i also picked up what would make me a better person.
it sounds ironic but i think i was being practical when i walked away from a practical person
practical because i know i was still searching for my ideals
and i was probably being more honest to myself than i could have been
now looking back on all the things and people whom gave me their time and love after branded and i broke up... i can only say, i think i can explain why some things happen but other things did not happen - it is a matter of the right time, right place, not so much whether the right person or not. just like how dq was very good to me but it was definitely not the right time
and even if it was the right time at that time, he would have eventually not turned out to be the right person, im sure of that. sometimes when you look back, read old stuff, see old photos, or just old memories, you wondered when exactly, at which point, on which date at which hour and minute and which second, did the significance of those words, those memories, cease to exist.
in august, i went to Bangkok. it was my first overseas trip without my parents or chaperons and it was no school excursion. i went with my best friend and my boyfriend. couldnt have asked for more but more trips in future.
in sept, i made the choice to leave, and to leave without a job, to find my identity
the past 3 months i struggled with myself, with my emotions, questioning over and again, who am i, what should i do, what are my aspirations, would i make a good teacher, do i have the passion to last in advertising, when can i go into branding, would someone hire me in marketing, on and on...
and here i am now, wondering whether this storm, this crisis of mine, has finally decided to take a hiatus
it has always been difficult for me. i know what i dont want, what i sucks at.
but i cant seem to pinpoint what i really want, what i excel at.

additionally, i find that as i grow older, some friendships just become more slippery
people dont bother to stay in touch as much, people have other activities
i used to feel more popular socially
lately i started to feel im not happening or sociable
maybe cause i din have any friends to go xmas partying with or xmas gatherings to attend
maybe it is true friends come and go
i received a xmas card from june, my old old primary sch friend
i was really surprised yet not...
guilty to say, she has always been sending me greeting cards since we left primary school (i think the last meetup we had was in sec 2? or maybe never. i cant recall) i think she only missed out 1 or 2 years, i think it was last year. well you could say maybe she has too many greeting cards and just conveniently sent me one, but it takes more effort than just a stamp. the fact that she even still remembers my address and didnt just assume i might have moved, really touches me. in the card she wrote 'dearest siew hoon, long time no contact babe. hope u r doing grt. keep in touch ya:)" and after all these years (10 years already!) she still signs off the same, "June xoxo" followed by the year. in the same handwriting that i will always recognise from the envelope. friendships take two hands to clap. but more often than not, it takes a very brave and strong hand to start the initiative, so i decided i would write back to her, old school style via snail mail. and see how we could regain a friendship:) its really amazing cuz i think i dont even have her hp, msn or facebook. shes really sweet to send me a card.
2 years ago i blogged about june too. i wrote about true friends.
there are alot of friends whom i miss, some of them; i was very close to them before, during secondary, during jc, during uni... but somehow i guess as we grow, we have more and more things and people in our life and less and less time to meetup and keep in contact with everyone.. friendship is however a two-way thing. if one party keeps initiating, but the other party doesnt reciprocate, theres only so far the friendship can go.

however despite all these, i think i ought to count my blessings too
i have never spent xmas or most of my last 5 years on earth being single and alone
even in the year 2007 when i was technically single, i spent xmas and new yr eve with dq
i also have this awesome as hell best friend whom i know i can count on and call on anytime
thank you wenxin:)
shes a constant in my fluctuating life
and i have my family. my sister whom i may not tell everything to but i will always go to her when i m most down. my naughty nephew isaac who brings us so much joy.
and my parents who worked so hard for us to be where we are today.
our first family trip to HK happened this year too.
though i complained that i had to compromise on the itinerary cos of my parents, but i know it will be one of my beloved memories many years from now.

in the past 6 months i also watched more movies than i did in the previous year
it was totally a blast.
i also starting reading more regularly now, buying more books instead of just going to the library, which i stopped after 2007
i shopped more, alot of window shopping but nonetheless very pleasuring
and i spent more money on food and new places but it was all worth
thank you zhe for making me able to be myself
the me you see is the real me, every bit of me
and i think that the best gift one can give to their partner is oneself, our most inner sacred self
which we might not show to the rest of the world
we shouldnt be afraid to be who we really are in a relationship
we just got to find someone who is willing to accept our true self
and we will be comfortable in our own skin in their company
i hope come next year end
there wont be anymore endings to mention.
it may be a tough journey, and we may not always be happy but we will do whatever it takes right darling

"If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see
Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"
- Whatever it takes by LIFEHOUSE

and lastly, here are my dreams and hopes for the upcoming year
1. to settle down in my career and be at where i want to be
2. to have a good relationship and touchup on my friendships
3. to travel to at least 2 places (HK in the 1st half year, maybe Taiwan or China in the later part, although short trips to resort places like Bali/Phuket would be really awesome)
4. to work harder and earn more recognition for pause&play
5. to save more money for my future
6. to forgive and forget
7. to buy my first branded bag (LV) heh! i may just buy the second hand LV Noe Epi (red or mustard) from HK first cause that model isnt available in sg anymore! so excited!

this might just be my last post before 2010, or maybe not.

i wish all of you a very happy new year ahead. just in case=)

goodbye or see you
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake

Labels: growing up

0 wore their hearts on their sleeves

Thursday, December 24, 2009 12:23 PM

toilet talk

i was in the toilet...

lady A: push it in somemore!!
lady B: huh.. got string leh..
lady B: means not in enough..push in more...
lady A: later i walk walk it fall out
lady B: you wont feel a thing one

lady A comes out of cubicle...

lady B: so how?
lady A: maybe i never push properly
lady A: starts to use hand actions to illustrate how to push it up

conclusion: they are talking about tampons.

eew. i cant fathom using tampons. the idea just grosses me out. hah!

Anyway, Merry Christmas to all! :)
hope you have a great long weekend.

im really looking forward to my xmas tmr cuz i think its the first time i m free and dont have to help out on xmas!! cuz my parents decide to take today and tmr off. yipeee to my free xmas!!

many movies to watch!! chipmunks and sherlock holmes! strange but i din see many xmas theme movies (or any at all, besides a christmas carol) this year. no movies like 'Love Actually'..

i have many things on my 2010 wishlist...

i want/need...
a pedicure (dark purple sounds good)
the New Look gorgeous gorgeous caged heels thats really high but comfy
waterfall dresses fr acrossthebloodyuniverse
a better hp that can surf faster and better (blackberry maybe? or iphone for its games)
new camera that is so not grainy
new muji translucent shelves for my 1000 and 1 shoes so i can see and keep track of what i have
new black flats
new specs/contact lens cuz i suspect my degree went up! :(
i suppose thats all for now!
oh... and i want that dream of mine to come true somehow!!

goodbye or see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

Labels: dreams, why must we label everything?

1 wore their hearts on their sleeves

Tuesday, December 22, 2009 11:03 PM

EBM(S)

I have ebms these few days
Especially bad today
It feels like I'm suffocated
Every thing threatens to overwhelm
And makes me want to call it quits
Flare up at my bf
Holding back waves of tears as I berate myself

What is this ebms so capable of creating wreck
Ebms stands for extremely bad mood swings
Blame it on pms
I just hope my period quickly comes so tht pms will be gone,
And maybe be replaced by a milder dms (during mens symptoms)

Why do I have such ebms!!

Looking bck, overall, 2009 hasn't been a good yr, no..
Too much changes, unknowns and still-don't-knows
I just hope 2010 will bring abt more certainty and permanence in my life
Maybe some gd news in jan I hope
I really want to go there

goodbye or see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

0 wore their hearts on their sleeves

Wednesday, December 16, 2009 11:55 AM

solitude; the storm has died down

im going to the movies myself later!
im kind of excited.
after all, it is my first time watching a movie alone.
for so many years rachel has been telling me it is an experience to try out
and i finally got the courage and time to do this.

luckily i am not watching blockbusters like New Moon or what feng yun
instead im going to catch

its those drama, slightly arty farty, vintage settings movies that GV europa cinema will show...
just last week, i went to watch The Private Lives of Pippa Lee with darling

it might be boring to you if you dont enjoy drama or just watching people eat, drink, grow up without other action
but i think i quite enjoyed it and it was that kind of movie that i think would make an excellent book. a storyline that words would be able to define and express more so than moving characters and a short 2 hour time frame to squeeze everything in.
its about life, how Pippa lee grew up, how she hated her mother for having bipolar disorder, and how she ended up slightly like her mother, having sleeping disorder, a little depressed at times
it teaches me that in life, there are many things we cant control.
how things may look perfect on the surface, but may be flawed to its very core
and ironically we might just turn out to be the very people we couldnt stand when we were younger
it helped that blake lively was in the movie! heh. even darling agreed she is pretty.

oh i just realised the movie was adapted from the book!

hmm i shall endeavour to locate this book after im done with my 2 new books from Times (courtesy of darling)
it looks like the kind of book i will read and weep and feel so emotionally laden with the antagonist's regrets, mistakes and whats not

i have also been trying to download 2 days in paris but somehow my bitcomet settings are screwed up. everytime i download i have to keep my laptop on until it finishes. if i shut it down, the list of downloads disappear and returns to my super old list. gosh. my laptop will explode before it can finish downloading i think!

Looks like a nice movie:)

and speaking of my first time watching movie alone, last sat was also my first time driving all by myself, without anyone else in the car!! it wasnt as nerve wrecking as i always imagined it to be, maybe because i have been driving more in the past week than my whole life.. i had to bring porridge to my sis in hosp and my parents were working so i drove there myself. funny thing was i parked between two number lots and thought i did a good job. until later on darling came and said i actually took up 2 lots. cause in that carpark, you are supposed to park infront of one number! -_-

anyway my sister is finally discharged and recovering from the surgery. :)
hope that her back problem will be solved after this.
i also drove back from changi gen hosp to bedok to post parcel and it was my first time parking so nicely by myself. one time only. i was so happy. took some photos. will upload from my hp another time. then drove home, parked inbetween two cars. still not bad la although it was abit closer to one car. i think i am getting the hang of parking, thankfully. this past week has been a great opportunity for me to practise my driving!

Here are photos of my preorder loots last month!
cheapppp! only $13 or so per piece.

arrived in a huge ass bag via courier

and upon ripping the parcel open! didnt know which to open first.

Some of the better buys:

very comfy, im glad i din buy this off some random blogshop that time:)
love the gradual stripes

chiffon romper. the pants part abit loose for me so got to use a belt. but other than that, it looks great with heels.

chiffon dress in cream. i also got this in mint. not so liking the tier at the bottom but i'll keep it for the moment. studded belt is from this fashion. newly acquired too.

i think this piece is the loveliest of the lot.
feminine and boho feel, like milk maid. haha.

looked great on the model.. material is nice. but it feels abit like table cloth?? maybe i should pair it with some leggings or jeans. undecided.

this piece, i love! abstract paint strokes on a chiffon top with flutter sleeves.
from alano! bit expensive ($27) but it looks like something zara would have.
seriously change the tag to zara and put it on zara's shelf with a $69 price tag
im sure it will sell

now my online purchases...

tie-dye dress. material is cheap & lousy. hate the tacky heart shape silver zip so i cut it and replaced it with my red heart earring! but i suppose its worth keeping for the back. and the tie-dye style.

last sunday i went to bonito's 'private' flea..
i think i missed out many other stuff by being in the last slot, but anyway it was still a great trip

my loots

pleated satin top in jade
it looked really big but i tried it on and it fit
love the color
$15 only (UP $26 excl postage)
great buy

pleated colorblock dress
material feels waterproof, like those raincoat type
bought this last piece at regular price $32
abit ex for online, but i think quite worth the buy
cause its DKNY inspired and the original pc that it was inspired by cost 3 figures
the last item i bought was an off shoulder dress for $12 which looks 90% close to the asos one i wanted. so, im happy!

now these are the things that caught my eye recently...

been into red lately... but i cant find this dress:(

tomorrow is my first day of work!
feeling excited; hope it will be good
i will miss my days of slacking, but it has been a good (almost) 3 months worth of rest
its time to start my engine again....
whooopeee!
and im so happy its so much nearer my place (Ubi)
only about 15mins bus ride there (less if the traffic wasnt so bad)
i also got a better pay despite this gloomy economy
and i m happy enough for now.

counting down to a brand new 2010!
we will work things out.

goodbye or see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

Labels: a woman's work is never done, growing up, whoever invented fashion committed an atrocious crime

0 wore their hearts on their sleeves

Tuesday, December 15, 2009 5:28 AM

If this was just a nightmare, why am I still awake?

I haven't felt this ache for some time
A dull but painful feeling
Its like toes cramp
When you think you are feeling better
The next waves of pain crash upon you

I hate how this happened
Hate how I feel
But I can't change anything
Its not up to me
Things may or may not return to before
I don't know
I'm just too angry
Too hurt
Too helpless

Words can't be taken back
Some things may not be easy to forget
What's done is done
But how did it all became this way?

Maybe it was meant to be
A short affair

Maybe I'm just jaded
And now I will be more cynical than ever
How do I trust,
How do I convince,
If you don't believe

Lily allen's song seems appropriate now

Are you mine? Are you mine?
Who'd have known? Who'd have known?

goodbye or see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

0 wore their hearts on their sleeves

Friday, December 11, 2009 12:14 AM

itching to shop!

i think boredom for the past few days has really got to me
i just cant wait to start work, suddenly
this impulse to be filled with some form of mental stress and physical activity (not referring to any form of sports)
just so that i have something to do, something fulfilling
rather than downloading random movies that turned out crappy (American Pie 7, Frat party)
reading every other girl's blog
clicking on any and every email that i receive
so, i conclude, i really need to start work
my bones are restless to the very core

my poor sister is hospitalised due to her back/spine problem, which was made worse by her car accident last week
hopefully her situation will be corrected after surgery...
its a difficult time for her, since she is in real estate, theres still so many people calling her everyday.. I guess thats what i think i wld hate abt that job if i were to ever do it full time... phone ringing non stop hahah...

so this week i became chauffeur driving her and my parents to changi gen hosp
spent some bit of time at the hospital
saw many old folks, some are very pitiful
they are like little kids, screaming for attention, refusing to eat (until their children visit them),
and keep saying they are going to die in hokkien or some dialects
its quite an irony this cycle of life
everyone came into this world a baby
brought up by our parents and they were the ones who have to 'serve' us, as we cried, as we threw tantrums, as we kicked up fusses
and then many years later, its almost like karma
they age and become either sick/dying or maybe just more fragile (not so gd eyesight, prone to falls etc) and we become their guardian angels just like how they once served us
and then this cycle continues as we wish for our kids (whom we have to take care as well) to be filial to us when we become like our parents
so yup its really our duty to care for old folks, our aging parents...

and seeing the old folks at the hosp, part of me wished that i had more time to know my grandparents
it can be quite fulfilling to see that you can help make old folks happy
just by visiting them and bringing smiles to their faces
maybe i should find out more about volunteering at old folks home

so i think i am getting more confident in driving around
but my parking is still so omg.
hope to improve it slowly even though its really hard for me to park with my sis's car
its so low and im so short i cant see much
ahhaha.. speaking of heights, i measured myself today and i have to gain 4 kg to be within healthy BMI! more pasta!!

it is time to speak less, show more

blake lively. so pretty and she is hot! my favourite blonde! besides jennifer anniston.
shes really curvy, and even though she is not a victoria beckham (aka size 0) but i think she looks really healthy and glowing! she still has some of the most fabulous dresses on gossip girl season 3. but unfortunately im stuck at episode 7 cuz i cant find episode 8 and 9.

my asos lurves for the week

simple long sleeved dress with a unique spider web back. so me... reminds me of this $6 dress i got fr timbre flea.

siting showed me this!
smoking hot but i dont know who would wear this on its own... looks more like a runway piece

oh and i love this!! the grey color on this sleek corporate looking dress. the material looks good too. but hell no i m not paying 38 pounds for this.

lastly i found some amazing photos which were actually not really cross processed but were just ran through toycamera prog. (the things that technology can do to replace physical processes huh)

these were taken at sentosa. makes me want to go to the beach and use my vivitar and my fuji instax!! perhaps nx month when the weather isnt so unpredictable.

lurve the colors, they make the photos look aged, and absolutely out of this little island singapore/sentosa. that reminds me i need to go develop my film roll that i took in HK! yay

goodbye or see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

Labels: growing up, whoever invented fashion committed an atrocious crime, why must we label everything?

0 wore their hearts on their sleeves

Monday, December 07, 2009 1:54 AM

a long walk to remember

im like digging my own grave
was looking through my hall 12 photo album, which if im not mistaken, is the largest photo album in my computer...
and posting random photos up on facebook
and now i get hit by this really strong wave of nostalgia
i miss hall 12 (and the happy times with the crazy people) so so much
i think its the idea of community living
like how HDB was conceived to be but never became,
with friendly neighbours, social activities, bonding sessions etc

so overwhelming, it makes me feel sad
i wish i could rewind time, skip past the ugly bits, and go back to when i just stepped gingerly into the entrance of hall 12.

there are so many memories that i miss, even the crazy canvassing and wrapping of flowers on v day
back then when we were still in hall, we never thought of how it would like for everything to come to an end..
as we watched our seniors graduating, batch upon batch
and then finally it was our turn
no more planning of fright nights for the freshies,
no more DnDs to see who would be our new hall king & queen...
life just passes way too fast..
it just seemed not too long ago that i was a freshie myself

oh, happiness slips through our fingers and got lost in time

alot of my wonderful memories were brought about by CSBS
i love you all!
thank you for all the precious fun, laughter, watermelon jokes, and all that breakfast we had...
i hope our friendship will always float (its a cheesy primary school saying i know)
despite our busy lives which will only get busier as we get older

and of course, my dearest CS gang in hall... (i thk this is a very very old photo! probably just after we got to know siting)
life in school would have been a social nightmare without you all
im so glad we met thru hall and i will always remember the blackout incident at the tv lounge..
as well as the times we mugged tog for cs201 and lent each other our notes (Simply because theres just too much to memorise!)

so, so emo. i live too much and often in the past, but its now 217am, and i think i should go back to where i belong.

goodbye or see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

Labels: growing up, i have atrocious friends

2 wore their hearts on their sleeves

Thursday, December 03, 2009 7:15 PM

is it that hard?

someone said that im very hard to read
does that suggest im appearing to be elusive?
not only that, i was told i seemed uptight and guarded
and worst of all, SERIOUS
i am a serious person? seriously, not that i know of, in my 23 years of existence haha
i find it both disturbing yet curiously intrigued that i've been described as such

i went to google what it means (whether good or bad) to appear to be hard to read
some of the answers i got

1. It means that they can't figure out what you are thinking. You don't make an expression that can confirm or deny a reaction to what they may be saying to you. It's not an insult. It's just frustrating to them because some people need a hint like a angry face or a smirk. I think it's good that people aren't able to tell what you are thinking , it keeps them on their toes. (this is probably true.. although im baffled what made that someone feel that about me)

2. It means you don't show your emotions in an obvious manner. This expression is often used to describe good poker players. (cool, but i dont even know how to play poker. haha and its really contradicting what my ex-boss and even I myself think of me - i wear my emotions on my sleeves. i do, you can tell when i am in a bad mood, as much as i try to just put on a poker face. however, i have also been told by my ex-client no less, that she admires me for being able to stay calm instead of panicky in a crisis. no matter how much she tries to say 'VALERIE!! i want this thing now!' or 'i dont care, you need to...', she says that i still go 'yah... tell me what happened' in a nonchalent way that makes me seem bo-chup that heaven is almost to fall on us. (like the chinese saying 天塌下来，当被盖)

and i thought this comment was absolutely correct.. (i quote)
'I honestly think it's a stupid thing to say to someone because, (1) it's impossible to know what someone is thinking and, (2) everybody is different and everyone has their own ways of expressing feelings and emotions. (And even that can change from time to time!)'

i kind of felt insulted when they seemed to really think i was serious!!
good-ness!
im just really curious whether my friends think im hard to read too
so if you have something to say, pls do!
*lately i have been wondering who are the people who still read my blog.. i only know of a few, like hon, caddie, my sis, shujing.. but then there are more hits than these people.. so if you are reading this, you can just shout out a HI in my tagboard (hopefully you dont remain anonymous lah haha... its more fun to know whos reading)
on a more positive note, maybe it means i am mysterious
cool or cool... im mysterious kay!! -_-
or maybe its just because im female
usually men like to say women are hard to read. haha...
and women who say im hard to read, well usually females who dont know me well dont like me..
so maybe thats why!
i cant help that i was born with a dao face ma!

enough of that.

anyway if i counted correctly
i have been to 10 interviews after leaving IMG (some, a waste of time)
let me just write down for memory's sake
1. eyeka asia (new!)
2. bain & mercer (dont ever go there!)
3. Digi magic (cool but i wasnt ready)
4. TBWA (well, i tried)
5. Crystal time (or something like that)
6. Grey group
7. KFC
8. Olympus (really liked the job but sadly...)
9 & 10. Takemetoasia
11. Turbo

oh there's 11... (or maybe more)
if i add the ones i went to before i graduated (designbridge, IMG, i think there was something else??) wow.. i think i can totally enter the guiness record or something.
'largest number of interviews attended in the period of 2months without success' LOL

so there... impressive record within 2 months.. it either proves that
1. there are many jobs out there
2. i must have been so hard to read that not many of them wants a poker face in their company
3. my salary expectations are too high
4. my experience is not good enough
etc...

oh well.. i think i went to so many interviews that i am (almost) no longer nervous before interviews.. infact i was reading Eat, Love, Pray to kill time before interviews.. maybe its a good skill to train.. but i can tell you i heard myself repeat so many times 'why did i leave IMG', 'why are you interested in this job' until i no longer have to refer to my notes which i prepared earlier to memorise hahah...

God knows how hard i've tried.. but anyway what's mine will be mine..
so im still positive

on a lighter note... i have to admit, chuck is looking cuter with each episode of Gossip girl season 3 but nate, i dont know, something's wrong with his hair, or its just getting boring to see him smooch older women
plus chuck is like darn sweet to blair. they make a perfect couple
still scheming but not hateful. chuck does alot of under-the-table stuff to help others and its really unlike his character in the earlier 2 seasons
but its a refreshing change

meanwhile, i really cant stand georgina. even the name irks me now. lucky i dont know any georgina(s) or else i might really grow to hate her too haha
she is really such a mean bitch on the show, and even when she is 'goody' it just seemed too fake
and i hate her thick thick lips, its like angelina jolie, minus the hot body and the charisma
serena is also getting a bit boring, doing the usual stuff and making the same mistakes, and dating the same guys again & again
but cause i m biased, and thinks she is darn pretty (and hot!) so i can overlook haha

season 3 is more boring... i think somehow every show is the best in its 1st season..
drag on too many seasons is abit like dying a slow death, painful and difficult to watch
season 1 was plenty of sex, gossip and the forbidden - thats what made it so juicy
season 2, too much war-of-tug between chuck & blair but i think georgina's bitchiness helped sustain the drama
so im just watching season 3 for the sake of it, and to ogle at serena's pretty dresses haha...

i also finally finished season 1 of 90210, and likewise not that excited about season 2..
it seems repetitive... i heard about Entourage being the male version of gossip girl
so maybe i can try downloading that to watch (if i have the time :X)

goodbye or see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

Labels: growing up, why must we label everything?

0 wore their hearts on their sleeves

12:25 AM

25 minutes

that was the amount of time i took to drive hon home...
and i dragged my sister along hahah
so that i wont have to drive back home alone!

im such a timid girl for my character

anyway, driving all the way from eunos to pioneer
just reminds me of one thing
and that one thing is... (no prizes for correct guesses)
of course is NTU lah
memories of hall and late night suppers and long drives to/fro ntu formed in my mind
driving at night is so not easy..
not to mentioned i drove back home from tampines mall in the rain this afternoon
and i have difficulty breathing when negotiating the tampines mall carpark in/out entrance
today i realised S-curves/bends are so difficult!
but well, i just treat it as a chance to practise my driving
and hopefully one day i will be confident enough to drive on my own
knowing that i can park!
heh
im ashamed that my licence is really 3 years (and more) old... :P

goodbye or see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

Labels: why must we label everything?

0 wore their hearts on their sleeves

Wednesday, December 02, 2009 1:18 AM

Come 2010.....

I SHOULD
1. stop buying clothes that are too similar to things that i already have (very hard to resist black & white combinations though)
2. continue to stop buying clothes that i will only wear once or twice and decide that i dont like it that much
3. stop buying so much clothes for that matter
4. stop buying anything that is so transient and only satisfies my material lust

I SHOULD
1. start to save money (considering that i have spent almost all my touchable savings)
2. start to save more money
3. start to save all the money that i usually would have spent on the above things that i should stop buying

anyway, today i drove!!!
its short of a miracle to say that i am still in one piece hahaha
and my sister and i spent one hr looking for the wireless car key cos my sis lost it
and then drove all the way to pasir ris to find my bro so that he can help us find
and then viola! upon reaching pasir ris....
my sis locates the key in a small tiny hole under her seat
*in my defence, i really searched throughly le, but somehow i didnt manage to dig out that stupid key!
maybe by driving all the way to pasir ris brought us the luck!
actually all along we knew the key was somewhere in the car, cuz without it, we wouldnt have been able to start the engine and drive ma..
but also, without it, we couldnt lock the car
hence we were damn panicky -_-
but anyway the toyota allion is damn cool because it is pretty smooth and it has a 'Start engine button' that you can just press and the engine starts straight away. unlike the usual key slot.. and its hand brake is more like a foot brake.. its located beside the brake and you gotta to step hard on it to release it. nice.
unfortunately my parking skills are rustier than my driving skills
and my sis was laughing at me as i parked, taking up 2 slots
in the end she helped me park
i really need to practice!!
driving is tiring but having a car is gooooooddd...
i hate public transport now (esp buses)
alot of weird, funny people... who either smell, or they speak in foreign languages or the bus just is so dirty

today i also went back to my previous company IMG
had dinner with my ex colleagues
so poor thing, doing the very things that would have been my pile of shit if i had stayed
really had mixed feelings when i stepped into the office
it was like,
nostalgic and repulsive at the same time
i felt so sad for them, who led such lives and i pray hard my life will never ever again be like that
when i left, they were all still buried at work. working till midnight and God knows when everyday...
of course some of them are really my gd colleagues and i love our laughter & chatter about everyone's stories during dinner
those are the good memories
however, i just shuddered to recall myself being there having late dinners, and even later nights, every single day
stepping back there, i kind of realised how glad i am to be unemployed for the past 2 months
just to be so much more sane, and kind to my mental & physical health
even if it means,
to live like i only have a single penny left in my pocket

im actually anticipating to start work
and i hope i will meet nice colleagues too
who will make work seem like its more a past-time than a job

goodbye or see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

Labels: a woman's work is never done, growing up

0 wore their hearts on their sleeves

on repeat mode

Leona Lewis Lyrics

mine

abandoned blog I
abandoned blog II

the past