~songs in my head~
没有地球太阳还是会绕.But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you. I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah ~ MOTTO ~ :: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. :: ~ THOUGHTS ~ By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28) For what it's worth, it was worth all the while. "God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21) "I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Hit Counters |
:: juz taking a moment to remember ::
Tuesday, January 30, 2007 10:44 PM
the cute one at 16:57, a cute little boy was born. his name is issac (my brother they all finally decide to use the proper one instead of i-zac. haha! i told them so already!). 黄凯哲! hehe he is really cute. i just totally drooled over him when i reach there.. i cannot wait to hold his hand, but right now he is wrapped tightly in a bundle.. hehe.. but before i go on, let me show u the evidence.  i just melted lah. he was so tiny i din see he was just on the bed beside his mother at first.  and comparing my head size to his, i feel like an ailen! and his head is already quite big (34 cm circumference) acc to docs..  well, i can hardly believe my brother is now a daddy. just now he bent over and said 'issac, issac.. hmm i love u' in those voice that people only reserve for talking to babies and small kids.. and i was just a) surprised to see this side of my brother, b) touched also.. and its amazing to hear that sis-in-law say that when they open up her stomach, she didnt feel anything. but i was like "isnt it strange that u are fully aware they are cutting it open? eeww".. and its amusing that my bro tried to cut off the umbilical cord thingy or placenta watever and failed twice, and the nurses or doc had to tell him to cut harder. haha. den we joked abt using the placenta as face mask, and my bro said it was totally gross. like pig intestine. thk he wont b eating kway chup for some time. haaa! i miss kai zhe already. i prefer calling him by his chinese name. cuz got the 哲, which is part of 哲平, a character in one of the jap dramas i love, and i swore i wanted to find my zhe ping one day too. haha.. i mean nt some1 with the same name, but since the baby got one part of the name in it, then i will treat him even better.. heh. :) Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 8:33 AM
woo-lah-lah i am like damn excited x 10000000000000000000 times!!! at 8:26 a.m, my brother sms me that his wife water bag burst liao! and i just went "ahhhhhh!" in lesson. lucky there was only me and siting and the tutor there haha.. den siting was like thinking wat had happened.. it really cheered me up alot leh, esp since last night i didnt feel too good. now i feel soooo anticipating, happy and happy, and excited, and joyous that i will have a small addition to my family soon!!! i cant wait. i have been waiting for this sms for sooo long.. hope she has a smooth delivery and little izac will be healthy and cute. :) Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Sunday, January 28, 2007 5:18 PM
Everytime i go for a wedding dinner a few things always happen: I get very bored because the whole table is old/middle-aged people whom i have nothing to talk about with. I start to get marriage phobia and will think "How can anyone be so sure that that's the right person they are marrying?" although I usually believe more in putting in efforts rather than waiting for something as unreliable and vague as the RIGHT one. I also get very excited and want to get married too.. because i want to look pretty and outshine everyone else. haha.. then it goes back to the 2nd stage where i think marriage is a little scary.. as in getting married is easy, but staying married?? Yesterday's dinner was really just dinner. It is really very boring to go to such boring wedding dinners leh. it was just eat, eat and eat. no programs nothing.. So i thought to myself, next time i wouldnt want such a dinner. i would want one that has a lively and fun atmosphere, with an entertaining emcee... yesterday's emcee was reading from a script of standard wedding Chinese sayings (eg: Please rise as we welcome the couple in.. Please rise to toast the couple..) and I never understand why there are so little young people at weddings either. I always feel oddly left out. It is at these moments i wish i was older, or look older.. but most of the time, i feel glad to look less than my age.. so that i wont age too fast!! hehe.. But the world is sometimes quite small too. Turned out that the bride's brother's gf was this girl from NTU who look like Da S. (i thk 99% is her ba) but she dont really look like her yest.. ... err well so if they marry each other nx time, she will be my distant relative... haha.. anyway, the guy v tall reminds me of my brother, and both of them are from hall 3.. hmm its kinda weird to think that u may have walked past a few people not knowing that they are ur distant relatives! (he's my mother's cousin's son) oh, i got my pay le.. and i want to go shopping leh.. but dont know got time or not.. sigh.. all the canvassing coming up, and mid-term is in 2 more weeks.. but strangely, i still feel as if sch started not long ago.. tis sem seems quite fast cuz it will be v day + cny + mid term break (holidays!!) soon... i still have no idea what to do for my 21st bday.. maybe i will do nothing. kinda strange cuz since i was 16, i always look forward to my 21st bday, throw a chalet invite everyone that kinda thing.. but now i reach this period, i start to think "is 21 really that big deal??" chalet or not, it is still just another birthday right? although my bday is my fav day of any year, but still, i have some personal reasons that make me reluctant to do anything big or special for my 21st... maybe a quiet nice dinner would be good enough.. as they (the older pple) like to say - "why do you want to announce so loudly that u are OLDER by another year again??" hahaha.. and i am already having a headache thinking what sort of presents would make a good 21st bday for my good frens.. i thk a wishlist would help us all.. haha.. Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Wednesday, January 24, 2007 6:32 PM
reflection watching last night's cheerleading, i wld have to say, its so much exciting and fun being the participant than the being part of the crowd. there is a certain adrenaline rush i guess, and watching the different halls performing last night, especially when the cheerleaders first came out, it really reminded me of 1 year ago.. how we were all so nervous when we went out, but we just yelled and shouted like madness. there was simply no time to think nor to fear. i do miss cheerleading, and i do wish i could have participated in it for another time, but something was very true when i read caddie's blog. she said that the first time is always incomparable, and its that first experience that would be the most memorable. victor asked me last night why i didnt take part again since i failed in my stunts.. when i tot about it, i do feel abit sad that the final performance wasnt smooth like during our practices.. but then, every one of us was part of a team, and what was impt was that no one blamed me, no one said "why did u fall?".. so it din matter at the end at all.. whether it was perfect or not, because everyone enjoyed that atmosphere, that team spirit, and we went through everything together. looking at this year's team, i knew that i wouldnt have that kind of memories if i have joined them. too many unfamiliar faces? not sure why but its just a feeling. somemore i feel its kinda sad that our hall has never been like other halls, come out with amazing performances and stunts/dances or even cheers. i think i wld like to join that kind of team.. when u put in 100% in what you do, then u will feel the satisfaction. but when u put in half-heartedness, its also sian to watch, and when ur own hall roots for other halls, its quite sad.. despite everything, i thk that our hall is still v persistent, though we have lack of people and enthusiasm, but we didnt withdraw from the competition, and many of the JCRC guys took part in it, so i was quite impressed by their dedication to hall..so they still did a gd job. but i still think our last year's dance, cheer, sequence was better than this year's. also longer, and had a climax.. and i still rmb we went out for supper after cheerleading.. it is really fast that one year.. and at least i will always have photos to remind myself of that wonderful period, and can tell myself at least i tried something i nv tot i would, before!! do u feel the same way, caddie/yin jie/other cheerleaders? :) Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 12:33 AM
what is... Euphoria is when someone thinks you are more beautiful than you dare say yourself, Bliss is when someone loves you more than you love youself, Joy is when someone holds your hand and tells you they only want to hold yours for the rest of your life, Happiness is when someone puts up with you and accepts you when you cant even stand yourself sometimes. And thus... Contentment is not being complacent about what you have, and think that someone else could offer it better. or to put it in another way, Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, rather it is the realization of how much you already have. aha! Enlightenment right? Signing off, no more ink. Labels: if love wasnt so atrocious I would have stayed blind 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Monday, January 22, 2007 11:20 PM
randoms i finally uploaded my photos.. so here are some i promised to share.. haha.. kinda old tho'... the three lovely xmas trees i saw on orchard road on the day i ended my last sem exams. think there was another green one but it was not very nice. my fav is the first pic!! looks very icy.. and i like the one i took with the xmas tree at intercon hotel too... it is gigantic! .JPG) .JPG) .JPG) .JPG) .JPG) i took a photo with a purple cow/bull too! haa.. and look at the cow shoe.. its kinda weird if there is really such a pair of heels.. eew...  .JPG) the carl's jr stuff are damn huge lah.. look at the onion rings.. they are so huge i can wear them as bangles!! lol! in contrast, look at the smallest packet of milo i have ever seen! its like those miniature milk that u order back in primary school! its so cute!! bought it at a mama shop at parkway!   and i like this photo that i took of the plant! its just so.... earthy? i dont know what word to describe it, but looking at it this way makes me feel peaceful.. haa..  and i tot i cld pass off as a billy bomber's staff looking like this..  this is very cool too, cuz i waited soo long for the car to run up till 9999 and then finally 10,000!! damn cool lor!! had to take it while driving.. cuz if not might miss the chance to...   and finally... i had my sambal stingray!! its a indescribable joy! haa!! and the empty bowl and plate originally had bak chor mee and oyster omelette, wic i emptied into my stomach! wooo~ i am already planning another visit soon..   and my sister yesterday reminded me of an incident that confirm that i am BORN greedy and a natural foodie.. she said when i was young, my parents and i went for dinner and we promised to keep 2 satays for my bro and sis who were having tuition. and according to my mummy, i was licking their satays on the way home. eeew right? haha tho i at first deny it, but i got to say, it sounds kinda familar.. haha! and den my sister asked how come i so greedy but nv get fat? actually its not that i dont get fat lah, but i guess i know when to make up for it?? but i guess its still a miracle cuz with my eating habits i shd be twice my weight now.. anyway, not being able to go back last weekend due to garung guni, i actually kinda miss my parents, esp my mummy. sigh! got the homesick feeling, just alittle.. i so wish i cld go back to the holidays period.. even if i had to work.. but i had the freedom to do anything with the remaining time.. not now.. i am v busy with all the meetings and upcoming canvassing.. i am kinda scared for my studies man.. on the bright side, its a mere 2 or 3 more weeks, or even shorter, before little izac wld be out.. and i am already v excited, i told my brother to call me immed if his wife goes into labour (so that i can prepare to go hospital -_- right.. as if i need to bring anyting der..) so he said i wld be the spokesperson for him, to inform everyone else. haha.. but i really v excited, cuz i have been wishing for a baby to play with for v v long.. usually when i play with other ppl's kids, i tend to be more careful.. of cuz i will be even more careful with my bro's one lah, but i mean at least i can play with him to my heart's content!! no need to 'return' to someone else! i just cannot wait man!! dont know if he will be "dog" or "pig"..aiyo i v scare also i gt no time to visit the baby.. argghh i shd stop being so excited!! and recently, some playful rumors made me feel that some people are better off remaining as friends. sometimes a friendship is better than a relationship, cuz its probably more permanent. a relationship seems v fragile at times, u nv know what might break it cuz it seems unstable, and sometimes cannot be measured by the length of time.. and when friends drift apart, its more sadness than anger, but the end of a r/s may be uglier and memorable for the wrong reasons..and sometimes i feel marriage is really quite scary.. at my age now, i think its not a very distant topic, i mean, some people get married once they graduate. i saw a couple in a magazine who got married after 3 yrs tog in uni, and they were just 24, 25.. and it got me thinking if i wld be courageous enough. wanting to get married to someone you love is one thing, but having the courage to say yes to the fact that you are bounded forever is another.. i am that kind who wld be very heartbroken if marriage goes awry.. and how does one know how long is enough?? i have been in one r/s for almost 3 yrs now, does that mean i qualify like the above couple, to be married? i guess not ba, cuz it is different for everyone, and every couple. thats why i think the length of the r/s cannot always be the determinant for marriage. its more about mutual agreement and feeling?? but 事事难预料 too.. taking things as they come.. Signing off, 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Wednesday, January 17, 2007 8:13 PM
i am damn sad. because the dress i wanted to buy for months is gone!! it was a online site.. and i was happy cuz they had 50% discount at the beginning of the month, but i thought i would buy when i get my pay. and now that i got my pay, i excitedly went to the site, and the first thing i saw, they reduced the price to i think 70% off! and then imagine my huge disappointment when i saw that they have no more size for me. i dont dare to buy a size 5 cuz i think it might be too big. damn it. its times like that i wish i could be erm.. fatter.. small size always run out fast. nah. heres the dress that made me weep. i like the tulle!  see, one shd never wait too long to get what you want. Signing off,no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Tuesday, January 16, 2007 4:30 PM
gambatte congratulate me. because i think, i am finally ready to study. ready to face this semester (i avoid using the word 'another' because i think it sounds negative.. and as mk's blog says, the mind is v powerful, so we should not think so pessimistically all the time lest it comes true) i saw MANY people at the lib and benches ard school today and they looked like mugging rather than just studying, like nx week is the exams or something. i dont know why, that kinda made me reflect on myself (still so slack!!) and made me both stressed yet inspired. i should start early too, before everything piles up and then complain got no time. i thought of taking 5 modules only to give myself a break, esp with my canvassing and my part-time sunday job on hand, but then i think i shd push myself more lah. many people have alot on their plates too, and moreover humans have greater resilience than they think they have. oh, and i spent these two days getting lost with siting in the south spines look for our psychology lect and tutorial room. its deadly embarrassing to be staring at every directory we see and wandering ard with a lost face, and saying "is it here? eh.. nono.." loud enough for others to overhear. haha. i am suddenly eager to get my textbooks so that i can start reading. now only got marketing and 227 flash handbook (wic looks like a kid's book with BIG fonts).. supper hop later, hope it will be fun, and most impt, the food will be yummy! :) Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 12:39 AM
no point in holding onto whatever makes u unhappy these days i have been thking, if ever one day, i have to let go of an unhappy r/s or f/s, i hope i wld be able to do it graciously and with relief and joy. cuz i think what is most impt in life is to have happy moments, so if two people are unhappy tog or always quarrelling over the smallest things den why not part and live your own lives. i am slowly understanding why they say, if u love someone, u dont have to own that person. maybe that person is better off being a friend, rather than someone you love romantically. and if he or she is happier without u (or can be as happy continuing his or her life), then why not? as long as you know the person is fine & that person rmbs u from time to time. it would be worth ur memories of him/her already. anyway, last friday was a very great outing. at least to me. we went to eat cafe cartel at PS den went to student kbox.. they gave us extra 2 hrs lor..hehe..and singing all the high and fast songs.. it was like a yelling, unhappiness-releasing session. and most of all, it was the company of csbs that made everything so fun. i have nv enjoyed ktv that way before. (talking abt ktv kinda reminds me of rachel tho' :( sigh..) i still had some songs i din get to sing cuz i forgot the titles and in the end was too late. but nvm, cuz i got to sing First Day by sun yan zi. hehe.. and there are some new songs that are v nice.. and after that we went to KFC to eat our late dinner. and everyone started thking of those animal related cheng yu.. haha.. pretty lame.. and worse, some of them like siting talks like they are really animals.. haha.. wat a funky animal farm we have.. so yupz, it was a memorable outing for me!! hmm.. it is slowly sinking in, the fact that sch has really started. i still dont know wic modules to drop.. actually i forgot wat i wanted to blog abt besides the above.. haha.. but i am pretty excited abt the supper hop tml. i am a very greedy girl. there are alot of things i crave for like a) stingray (wic i am sure gg to get my hands on tis thurs) b) suki buffet (i want to eat sashimi leh...) c) my own onion-mushroom dish.. (nx time gt wat potluck i will cook one one pot and bring der and eat myself cuz no1 else will want to eat onions..yea.. so smart rite?) 4) pasta mania 5) some japanese food 6) can 13 korean food 7) very nice chicken rice 8) a huge bowl of maggi mee (curry flavor) 9) my mum's curry veg 10) my mum's fried chicken wings haha.. shit.. i shd stop thinking la.. cuz i am getting hungry! hehe... Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Thursday, January 11, 2007 4:44 PM
food for thought why is it that life has its own way to get you down, and make you feel so helpless that you dont even know who to turn to? its like no amount of human strength can pull you out from that moment of despair and misery. its almost ridiculous that you dont know the reason(s) yourself, hence you dont dare to tell anyone for if they asked why, what would you have to say? and i realise that insecurity can apply to many situations, not just in love. Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Friday, January 05, 2007 11:55 PM
5 days into the year... on the very first day of 2007, i was in a bad mood. dont know why. hope its not aboding a bad start. haha. but the past few days have been okay lah, just dead tired from all the standing. dont know why but this promoter job drains me out. whenever i reach home, i just wan to sleep. anyway today is the last day on the job so i m very happy. i wasnt as tired as yest and time seemed to pass abit faster today. and i got to know 2 new frends who are sisters. they are pretty nice and frendly.. i guess its true that u never know until u try.. and i guess i fulfilled one of those "To-do things in a new year"- get to know a new friend. two in fact. i hope to... get my pay soon man!! i am a broke (wo)man now. will be rich in end jan woahha.. thats when i pay every1 else back.. lolz.. hmm.. i guess my fav brand is burberry.. since i was young i always tot its a very classic pattern.. and that day while working i saw a woman wear a burberry dress (i am assuming its real la) and it looked really nice.. so i decided at that moment, i must get one someday too.. i can start my collection from small.. frm its perfume first.. haha.. den i started daydreaming abt its handbag, wallet, watch, coat, etc... but i m sure even a wallet will cost a bomb.. sigh.. i need to find a sugar daddy! preferably the founder of burberry.. haha.. let me have a great weekend before sch starts. its still all so surreal.. but maybe it wnt be that bad? cuz i only gt 2 cs modules tis sem.. guess i wnt be spending much time in cs.. hope i dn get lost in the north south spines! also dont know wat to blog liao...hope that first week of school will be quite relac.. Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves |
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