~songs in my head~
没有地球太阳还是会绕.But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you. I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah ~ MOTTO ~ :: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. :: ~ THOUGHTS ~ By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28) For what it's worth, it was worth all the while. "God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21) "I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Hit Counters |
:: juz taking a moment to remember ::
Friday, November 30, 2007 11:06 PM
feeling emo the best feeling, or at least one of the best in the world, must be the feeling of being loved and loving the same person back in return but sadly, at this time i feel so unloved. so i have the worst feeling in the world now on a random note, i can tie up my hair now le but really hate my hair now think the color's ugly and the shape is gone (but cuz i want to grow my hair long, so i cannot do anything) so its ugly, shapeless and dull! yuck! then again sometimes i think my concerns are so frivalous i would gladly give up things to get the best feeling in the world but somethings can never change we can keep trying though till we get tired and i feel guilty for trying to forget sad that i have to build new memories upon existing ones move away from things, places, people, memories, feelings but i just dont want/cant/think i cant cope with being this way anymore not having anyone to call my own having to start from scratch and pick myself up when i fall its difficult but remember, 提醒自己 keep my hands off 我将永不再触碰这记忆 Signing off, no more ink. Labels: growing up, if love wasnt so atrocious I would have stayed blind, why must we label everything? 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 1:09 PM
exams are OVER signing off, no more ink Labels: i have atrocious friends, The more we study the more we discover our ignorance. but ignorance is bliss so we should study more. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Monday, November 26, 2007 6:29 PM
cuz' black is my favourite color last time i promised to keep a lookout for pretty black dresses to go with the million heels i posted. here's some of the search results, mostly from f21 or asos. never post all cuz later people say my blog looks like online shopping site. (i wish) and also so that i will have other pics to post next time.         and i want to wait for f21 spree so i can buy this for CNY! can i wear this for Cny please? the cut out dress on the right. mezza satin dress. its NOT white stuff along the neck. its cut outs.  and this tweed coat is just too pretty to resist. it is $13 cuz its from some china site. haha tomorrow is my last paper. finally. want to sleep alot because next week i will be back to work already. holidays also like no holidays. but then more $$ means more shopping. all the heels i want. all the japanese food i want. all the things that love cannot buy but money can. and i want to go ktv. jiaen wants to sing FIR 你很爱他 i want to sell my clothes shuenyun is leaving soon :( very random i know but these days i am quite random one Signing off, no more ink. Labels: i have atrocious friends, The more we study the more we discover our ignorance. but ignorance is bliss so we should study more., whoever invented fashion committed an atrocious crime 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Saturday, November 24, 2007 10:06 PM
from my diary at this moment after reading some really really old entries, some in 2002, some in 2004.. i want to say that i am grateful, and thankful for those who came into my life the few special people who made me into who i am today thanks for being there in my life when i was down, stressed, happy, sad, and so innocent thanks for teaching me things and sharing that period of my life with me some memories are really funny (not haha funny) but more like amusing yet also sweet to see us so in love, naive about the future, and the conversations we had about certain topics to see old photos that bring back that instant God placed these special people in my life for a reason they left footsteps in my life, and in my heart they made me happy, made me cry, made me angry, made me heartbroken, made me feel so loved, but most of all, they made me into who i am today deep down i will always always treasure the memories and the things that happened before even if they were the most silly ones even if it stings to read some of them to see that things didnt go the way i hoped for in my diary but in life, when you fall, you have to pick yourself up. and i really am glad i keep a diary because if not, all these minute details of my life will be gone and i will never be able to treasure all of them. now i am addicted to the song 记得要忘记 by S.H.E 谢谢你让我伤过心 学会爱情并非执迷 人改变不了改变不了的事情 记得要忘记忘记 我提醒自己 你已经是人海中的一个背影 长长时光 我应该要有新的回忆 人无法决定会为谁动心 至少可以决定放不放弃 我承认我还是会爱着你 但我将永不再触碰这记 经过我的你 毕竟只是很偶像的那种相遇 不会不容易 我有一辈子足够用来忘记 Signing off, Labels: growing up, if love wasnt so atrocious I would have stayed blind 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Thursday, November 22, 2007 9:01 PM
just so rotten luck i just feel so so so so so so down now stupid 334 paper haiz God i need another miracle a greater one than what you gave me for 203 my 301 flopped 334 also cui where got prof ownself give extra 30 mins give us that expectation that exam end 30 mins later and then 10 minutes into extra time say stop what kind of exam is this 60 marks nothing to write i was blank like whiteboard. so great no one is here. Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Wednesday, November 21, 2007 12:59 AM
cuz i am bored  yay to polaroids!!     doesnt these two items just look so matching? the flats are super nice:(  very posh, a great look and a great backdrop  look at her skinny skinny skinny pointed heels. its my dream heels  sienna miller, pretty and has style.  kate moss. everything looks fab on her. abit of rock chick face, but yet she looks very pretty in this dress  random asos photo. i want to work in fashion mag! haha lastly, a very funny sentence from our ah tiong who's so lame he is slow: YoU'lL nEvEr WaLk AlOnE is part of the CHANGI family!!!! says (1:08 AM): im going to throw hotdogs into ur room liao i tell u to live the ultimate dream, is to first face and survive the ultimate nightmare. says (1:08 AM): i dn mind i will catch! to live the ultimate dream, is to first face and survive the ultimate nightmare. says (1:08 AM): come throw throw! i want to believe that all you said is true. i want to believe there's such a thing as "meant to be" where sorries and regrets are not part of the future where things can be picked up and start afresh i want to capture our faces on polaroid. i have many moments to remember about you oh, so random, my thoughts. fit my blogskin. Signing off, no more ink. Labels: growing up, i have atrocious friends, if love wasnt so atrocious I would have stayed blind, whoever invented fashion committed an atrocious crime 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Tuesday, November 20, 2007 1:23 PM
the singapore flyer  just found out that the singapore/world's largest "ferris wheel" is opening next year march or even earlier! for a 37 minutes ride to view the skyline, neighbouring islands, and the surrounding marina bay area, is $29.50 worth it? i actually think so, i must either be mad or in love with the sight of the flyer, which is actually a giant observation wheel and not really a ferris wheel. but sad to say, because its not supposed to be romantic but to earn $$ from tourists, one capsule can seat up to 28 people. how romantic is that! not that i actually confirm have someone to go with also. but maybe if its not peak hours, then maybe you can get off with less people with you in the same capsule but then again, dont know how many million tickets are already booked and available for booking now when its not yet opened. i want to book but also dont know if i end up can go anot. so better not waste money first. it can also be booked for a private wedding proposal leh. super duper romantic but of course very expensive! but which girl will say no to a wedding proposal on a ferris wheel/giant whatever wheel? i think to make $29.50 (this is the cheapest of all packages) worth every cent, must choose a good timing to go. i think no one will want to go at noon la, so scorching, nor during rainy days, cannot see anything due to the rain/fog. i think best is go around 530 pm? when the sun will be setting.. or maybe at night but not as good cuz maybe will be too dark to see everything except city lights, which you shouldnt have to pay to see! (at least in Sg, where everywhere is lit) i think the 2nd problem is that all tourists will get to sit on the flyer before any singaporean. because everything is built for the tourists :( and singaporeans, although kiasu, are too kiam to spend $$ to observe our own skyline. haha. so, when will I get to sit in that wheel? can i get to go with who i wan to go with? after so long, its finally launching but my hopes are dashed already. Signing off, no more ink. Labels: dreams, why must we label everything? 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Monday, November 19, 2007 2:59 PM
if i could go to prom again  plus if i had the money hahah the almost perfect tulle dress. i still remember, i didnt get to buy the mandee tulle dress. the first overseas dress i wanted to get. saw the picture again when i reread some old entries. though its a simple dress but simplicity is beauty. sounds like someone's msn nick leh.  301 exam - very cui. please let me get at least B. dont want to fall below that grade. pls pls pls. super sleepy during exams with nothing to write. :( say cheezeee... i love polariods.. i like the blue one better, cuz its cuter! but technically the silver one is better cuz it comes with self-timer. :( how?   bye. Signing off, no more ink. Labels: The more we study the more we discover our ignorance. but ignorance is bliss so we should study more., whoever invented fashion committed an atrocious crime 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Sunday, November 18, 2007 1:49 PM
maybe i should change the title of my blog after all, "a moment to remember" is too sad to remember for me. i wish i have amnesia like the girl in the movie. and then every day, i can choose to only see the memories would make me smile. Signing off, no more ink. Labels: why must we label everything? 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 1:40 PM
this song 我怀念的 by sun yan zi is very nice, very sad... Labels: youtube 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 1:12 PM
unable to concentrate gosh i really hate exams at this moment. the very thought that i have less than24 hrs to my first paper makes me feel like crap. because my mind is filled with "whether i can answer the questions?". i am afraid that i will just think blank when i see the questions. and 60 mark question does not help me feel great. damn you stupid unamed tutor who cannot teach properly and ask us to read a not-textbook textbook. (the computer shut down itself at this point cuz the wire was too short and i pulled the com towards me.. grr, but lucky, this time blogspot is very smart, they save drafts) anyway, the not-textbook book is full of long, long sentences, with no punctuation, and big words that mean nothing to me. tell me, how do i ace my exams this time round? please, dont let my GPA fall!! i finally pulled it up last sem. but so much has happened, i feel it will take another miracle for me to still do (relatively) well. well, i will know after the results are out. i want to be free of exams, but i dont want to go to work. why must they force me to work? i want to sleep my dec away also cannot? at least sleep dont need spend money, so i dont have to earn money. dreamt of something interesting yesterday, even after so long it still makes me smile, even though its just a dream. maybe one day, yrs down the road, i will dream of this scenario again but with a change of character. content syndication. convergence. digitisation. these terms drive me mad. i feel helpless towards exams and every other problem i have now. cannot do anything to change. yucks. my friends are helping me, but i need more support than that. but is it really right for me to turn to you, because eventually you will have to leave too. i dont have an answer. should i follow what i want, or what i think? Signing off, no more ink. Labels: growing up, i have atrocious friends, if love wasnt so atrocious I would have stayed blind, The more we study the more we discover our ignorance. but ignorance is bliss so we should study more. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Friday, November 16, 2007 3:27 AM
This girl is super cute. Labels: youtube 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Thursday, November 15, 2007 9:58 PM
scared and tired of the feeling that creeps up inside me when i least expects it hits hard leaves me feeling vulnerable when i have only tigger with me comforting but its just the two of us and this is precisely what makes me scared the thought that this might be how i will feel throughout dec that this is how i will spend my days its not a nice feeling what do i do when the person who makes me cry is also the person who can stop me from crying, and soothes me like no one else can? he just has that power thank you Signing off, no more ink. Labels: growing up, if love wasnt so atrocious I would have stayed blind 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 3:38 AM
a feeling of surrealism it is now 3:50 am in the morning of 15th november, 2007 i am typing this in the dark because my roomie is sleeping so late but i dont feel sleepy maybe because i drank coffee maybe because i am full from the maggi mee goreng maybe because i am wondering about things till today i still have a feeling that certain things that happened a few days ago were a dream that i didnt really hear what i heard or didnt really felt what i felt and although i have proof that it is real but still, knowing it is real gives me some hope which i think i am better off not having everyone says they are looking forward to holidays for me, i am actually not sure because this holidays i wont be doing alot of the many activities that i usually plan to do wont be going to some places anymore, not by myself definitely dont think i have the courage to there was a time when everywhere and everything in the world meant nothing because i had my own world but now i must reconfigure things, and build new meaning onto old ones how will i spend my holidays who will i spend it with how will it feel like to not spend it the way i am used to stayovers and stuff i feel like i am incapable of the ability to stop thinking its like always at the back of my mind pops up in 10,000 different ways every 5 seconds i feel empty i feel deserted i feel lost so uncertain of the future now so unsure of how closure will be like, how it will feel like not knowing who will move on first not knowing if theres such a thing as rediscovering love and chances who will lead the way who will provide me with answers? i want to escape somewhere but i have nowhere to run to no arms of comfort no pillar of support Signing off, no more ink. Labels: growing up, if love wasnt so atrocious I would have stayed blind 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Tuesday, November 13, 2007 1:33 AM
no one can be always there maybe its pms but also maybe because of the date today 12th should be a day of celebration a day of rememberance but this 12th means so much yet so little now exams are next week and all i can do is sit around thinking of useless stuff things that have changed people who i cant call anymore people who dont care about me like before people whom i want so badly i am fucking weak i hate seeing myself like this and when people say that they will be there for you its not a lie, but its not totally true either the person who was always there for me at all times at all hours regardless of my moods has left my world when love hurts like this who do i turn to? you gave me love, and hope, and everything i hated about myself, you loved and accepted but now i am back to hating those things about myself and knowing that now, no one else will accept them like you did too weak too weak nothing can numb my pain and i dont need people who think that it will be funny to joke about my situation it only makes me feel worse because it is just not funny to me pain will never be a funny topic Signing off, no more ink. Labels: growing up, if love wasnt so atrocious I would have stayed blind 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Friday, November 09, 2007 6:59 PM
i feel contented today is friday and i am already home! woah! a super duper rare event and i get to eat my favourite home cooked dishes fried rice and black chicken soup! whee i am touched my mummy end up cooking them cuz i said yest i want to eat them being at home feels very slack haha but feels very comfy also hmm suddenly also dont know what to say haha hmm today i went to find out my 331 grades for the newater and tiger beer ads hmm the print ad for tiger beer, as expected i got a B- (ok i didnt thk will be that bad) but i only did the ad the morning that i had to hand it up so oh well but my tvc got A! but i think overall it will still be greatly pulled down esp considering my lousy portfolio today my classmates really know how to spoil market eunice asked me to sign up for "fun with sketching" night classes at laselle lol $280 for 8 lessons sound like kindergarden lessons but i am going account servicing so maybe no need lah hor hahhaha (oh btw, forgot to update gd news: my second interview was a success and they selected me, ME only leh :P so happy.. also happy eunice got in for another prog code.. sad that mary ann never get in too, if not we will be 3 musketeers at DB) really didnt expect this good news unknowingly i landed myself this internship i dont know how i aced that interview but thank God! many things feel surreal time flies sad to say, i think i know where i stand though i never ever imagined i will actually be in this situation and never thought that somethings would ever change but at times i feel it is a refreshing change although i admit i would rather give up these freedom but slowly one by one i am removing the traces trying to replace the void with other fillings its just like trying to make dumplings? if dont have ba zhang, make gi zhang also very nice what! haha... Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Tuesday, November 06, 2007 8:54 PM
let pictures do most of the talking today fredflare has the cutest stuff  imagine wearing this eye mask! flutter eye lashes   haha its kind of ironic that chee wee says he has the key to my heart. rubbish joke. we all know whose key you want, right.  cute purses! i like the teal/blue one!  i got this. at USD22. love at first sight. hope it fits  panda pot!!! kawaii!  use this to pick up a call! let everyone stare at you hahaa this cute minnie tee is from wetseal. imagine my head there! either will be cute or stupid. i dont wanna pay to find out. maybe i should go photoshop my face there.  have you spot what is so special about this clock? tag if you know! :)  i wonder if it will cause cause trouble to read the time. wanted to post more pictures, but blogger is giving me problems. stay tuned for pics of yewhong's "gay" look, and a female flasher haha. Signing off,
no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Monday, November 05, 2007 9:28 PM
with the passing of each day, i'll emerge stronger something meaningful that i saw on someone's blog, and its quite comforting. "But for some people, there are no real good-byes. I think if you have a meaningful experience with someone else, a true communication, they are with you forever in a way. We are all a part of each other in ways we'll never know." i guess it is true to a certain extent, even though like the last sentence says, we will never know. anyway, i just passed another weekend by myself. and another sunday at work without tears (well i almost did, but its still much better as compared to the past few weeks) though it was not that easy to survive the demons alone, but then again i was not that alone. maybe its really true that God takes away some, and gives you some. my sister and i have never been so close, she's really supportive and nice to me now (actually all along too, but its like the peak now) and we listened to each other with tears on sat night, something we never did before. thanks to shuenyun too. you really know what i am going through. i hope that by the time you go canada, i will feel much stronger, if not i will have less one person to support me. thanks to wenxin and siting too, always being around to listen to me. sister says mother is worried about me. i am starting to see that i didnt lose the entire world. i had a lovely time with en and shuenyun last thurs, we went to MOF (minstry of food, no kidding!) and though japanese food reminds me of the saddest memories, but i am trying to deassociate things. from what i said 1 month ago that i would stubbornly hang on, to now, has been such a long yet fast journey. time really flies. but it takes much more to heal a wound. they say it takes a moment to fall in love with someone, but forever to forget that someone. and its not that i dont have enough determination to hang on, but i am feeling like things are not entirely within my control or say anymore. i guess i just have to find my way out of this darkness, slowly but surely. its been a great time, but maybe one day i will know why its not meant to be. i am starting to question, was i too naive? right now, i need to put away all these memories and thoughts. maybe when the feelings etc settle down, we will be able to see things in a different perspective. at least its not tragic, no one died or anything... maybe in dec, i will take out everything, read/look through them, cry a great deal, and then put everything (that i never thought i will have to put away) in a box and then just wait for time to mend my heart... Signing off, no more ink. Labels: growing up, i have atrocious friends, if love wasnt so atrocious I would have stayed blind 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Thursday, November 01, 2007 10:32 AM
一颗心交给谁 i have no idea what lies ahead anyway anything i want is not up to me for now i just want to breath i just want to stop for awhile i have been too hard on myself i dont want to spend my waking hours on misery, sadness and pain maybe i will leave that to december but for now i just want to pretend to forget about it that i never ever had to deal with such a thing i am going to take a break later i am going to enjoy myself with shuen and en this week is madness but i will stay strong Signing off, no more ink. Labels: growing up, if love wasnt so atrocious I would have stayed blind, The more we study the more we discover our ignorance. but ignorance is bliss so we should study more. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves |
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