Wednesday, December 29, 2004 9:38 PM

time for reflection of the past and some new year resolutions perhaps?

a few more days b4 year 2004 ends, and a new year begins.. for me, 2004 has been a GREAT year.. really.. tho' it was shitty studying like mad for a lvls..plus spending these last few weeks of 2004 holed up at home due to chickenpox.. but overall, it was a good year for me cuz a) i found him and we r stil togt, b) my jc life was pretty fun + those frenz i made c) i am still alive and optimistic abt life.. d) i finally let go of the past.. abt those la.. but i guess 2004 is better than 2003, where i stumbled and fell in love, hurt a few ppl, got silly over a silly crush(shuenyun, u shd noe who huh? haha), hurt myself while trying to let go of the past.. but no matter wat, these made me stronger too.. year2004; i do not have much regrets; not any actually.. maybe i regret not being prepared enuff for my exams la.. but all in all, i have put in quite my best.. just that the 'best' could have been stretched further.. u noe how teachers always remark that you have not reach ur potential yet? thats wat i meant.. tho i put in my best, but i guess every1's potential incl mine can b stretched if we push ourselves harder ba.. but nevertheless, i just pray for a decent enuff A lvl results to set me flying into uni..

abt 2 more days. i shall be able to see my dear soon. well, at least when wenxin, rachel and him come back fr their holidays, i will have my souvenirs ma.. haha! thats wat i deserve aft i get abandoned in SG for a week.. i duno how i managed to live thru tis prev week, watching vcds everyday, reading comic, surfing the net, eat n slp... bleh.. so boring.. but hey, i managed to live on these 'entertainment' for exactly a week now.. i feel like a frog in a well leh.. everyday nv go out, my view of the world is restricted n i feel cut off!! i wanna get out soon n have fun b4 i find a job.. sigh, i better find a job!! i thk i dun wanna get a sales job liao, mayb admin or some office job will b better.. at least can sit down.. any lobangs?

damn my eyes are so painful now after using the com for the whole afternoon.. bad for my eyesight man.. sigh.. no1 seems to blog now.. i am the only one rambling n also duno got any1 readin tis now.. cuz no1 tags.. haha.. its always like that, when i dun blog, i will see tags, when i get started to blog, no1 tags anymore.. contradicting.. let me c, any new yr resolutions for me??
usually every yr i will make a few, one of them wld be not to be late anymore.. well, tis yr i improved alot liao.. so i guess i m nt gg to make tt for 2005.. and due to all my sickness, i have lost some weight.. i cant donate blood now.. haha.. so i wont resolve to go on a diet.. in fact i thk i nv resolved b4.. except that i every yr resolve i must get rid of my tummy and fats on my stomach la.. haha.. but well, i m pretty ok abt myself nw.. so, hmm.. i cant thk of any proper resolutions.. maybe a) to treasure my relationship n friendships and nt let any of them fade off! hmm, thats nt a bad one.. b)treat my family better.. well, sth lyk that.. alrite.. thats all...

bye.. Happy New Year! (just in case tis is my last blog for 2004)

Signing out, pen is running out of ink.

merry x'mas to all.

its xmas today.. but doesnt feel that way to me.. i always tot xmas eve was more exciting den xmas itself esp when gathering with a grp of frenz to count down to xmas.. then when xmas come, its just like 'oh, its xmas'... that kind.. last yr, i had a celeb with ocip ppl.. was one of the best xmas i had, or shd i say most fun n best, since i nv really had a good xmas in sec sch yrs.. u noe, tings happen.. like breakups n stuff, quarrels over that period, and working, etc.. so last yr was really fun with all the exchange of presents n playing sparkles and eating kfc.. tis yr too bad no1 organized a xmas party, well, even if they had, i wldnt be able to attend.. so tis xmas is back to bad for me.. without my frens, without him, down with chicken pox, i m literally stuck at home. the only time i stepped out of my hse was to go to the corridor to hang some laundry.. haha.. since tue.. n when my blanket fell to dwstairs yest, i had the chance to go down to my lift landing.. just for 2 mins or so..hmm, nice fresh air.. haha..

there was even a kid in d life who asked his mummy 'wher she got things on her face?'... damn, that time i wanted to say 'shut up boy u are so rude..' but i pretended to b nonchalent la.. haha.. aft all he's just a small boi. and the mother duno is act innocent or really innocent n replied 'those r pimples lor, mummy also got'.. well, then the lift got to my floor n i quickly walked out, embarrassed.. haha..

but act, staying home isnt tt bad aft all.. can watch tv on xmas.. wic i nv did b4.. cuz i always helped out my mum during holidays.. and can read some books n kindachi comics he lent me.. oh ya, n i rec a few smses fr frens wishing me merry xmas, strange but i realized hw much these small msgs meant to some1 like me stuck at home, and they were nt even fr frens that i m currently close to.. so i dec to send back some greetings too, in case any1 is feeling lonely like me.. there was some1 i dint expect he will sms me.. but he did.. that made me feel happy he must have treat me stil as fren. cuz i was coincidentally reading sth yest wherby he said 'hope to be best frens as ever' aft our breakup.. that was the best sentence in the whole document.. cuz i m happy n touched that he once did treat me as his best fren, even tho we mite nt be so now or ever be again.. i dun noe if he reads my blog, but i just wanna say thank u to him..if u noe who u are... u were my first best guy fren, n since then no guy is such a best fren to me.. mayb one day, we can b back to that status? i dunno.. just let nature run its course..

what a long post.. must be me n my ramblings again.. but at least i noe some of u will b reading rite.. hee.. thanks leemei for yest's call.. tho i feel u dun really underst hw i felt, but u were there to make me feel better.. i guess one can nv live without frens.. so hope every1 enjoys tis xmas remembering ur frens n loved ones!! cheersssss! :)

lotsa of love,
from chicken-pox-ridden-me..
(it thk its getting better!)

Signing out, pen is running out of ink.