~songs in my head~
没有地球太阳还是会绕.But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you. I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah ~ MOTTO ~ :: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. :: ~ THOUGHTS ~ By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28) For what it's worth, it was worth all the while. "God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21) "I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Hit Counters |
:: juz taking a moment to remember ::
Tuesday, December 30, 2003 12:38 PM
quote of the day: Since light travels faster than sound, people often appear bright until they open their mouth. oh goodness... yest at MJ's concert i saw quite alot of ppl... clint! i turned to walk out and saw tis hugh tall guy infront of me, i looked at him, he looked at me... and i was too surprised to react...but thk he recog me lah... haha~ saw yuting, qs, mx, lm's ***, the mj sch belle, xiao jie, etc... the performance not bad lah, but sometimes i thk can cui mian me to zzz... btw, there was a cute guy in d band haha... but he's attached fyi... kenneth's face when singing was so funny, and he kept swaying his body... must b too nervous... lolx~ aniway, d buffet yest was gr8... yuMmy! and took a neoprint tt was in d form of a key-chain tag lyk tat for 5 bucks... quite expensive but v original...its now hangin on my hp...who wanna see i show u! din go gelere with lewis today as he had odac... nvm there's always next time... and gr8 news is tat we will only b having lectures for the first week of sch! yeah! hope tat sch will end 1245pm everyday! except fer those stupid topical test days... argh, i better go to do my MAS essay now!! mite be gg jaren's hse for steamboat countdown to 2004 tml! Countdown.... (nows its to sch reopen lah): oh my precious THREE days! Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Monday, December 29, 2003 10:32 AM
memory is the diary we all carry around with us all the time. tt day went swimming a funny ting happened. jas & i were swimming when tis malay guy approached me and pointed elsewhere.. at first i tot he telling me i dropped sth, but i touched my head & my goggles r stil there den he said eh my fren want to noe u... den i was like huh? jialat... he attempted to make conversation & jas was like i cant save ya~... but in d end, we blaff him say we waiting fer A lvls, 18 yrs old liao, much older den his fren (who's 15). acty, we nt really lying as we are really waiting for A lvl, but nt the results, its waiting to take the exams lolx... clever huh? den he stil insisted, so i bluff him aiya i like older guys lah...den wat he said shocked me, i tot i heard wrongly... he said why like older guys, can fcuk izzit? jas & i were like duh... my first rxn was huh u 15 yrs old havent learn sex ed meh, why tok lyk tis? haha~ he den asked v crude & degrading qns lor... such as u all like to fcuk izzit, older guys can izzit? dot dot dot... so young only tok until so 'chu ru'... lolx finally he left us in peace when we kept giving excuses... we even lied we got BFs... lolxx wat a scene at the pool... my first time sia... somemore a diff race... whr got ppl 'ta shan' at pool one?!! must b perverse... haha~ yest, unwillingly i went wif my mum to a wedding dinner... evertime i must subsitute my dad go one... haiz~ but it turned out much more better den i thot... d couple v young... ger only 25!! i was lyk oh goodness i dun wan to marry tat young... its like life will den no longer b about u,yourself & i, but u, ur husband & children! but mayb my perspective will change when i'm tt age... who noes? quite a compatible couple in terms of looks and they also held their solemnization infront of everyone & when they said 'Yes I do' & exchanged rings, it was kinda so touching... i told my mum tt i thk if i was d bride, i surely will haf a hard time controlling my tears lolx... even as a guest, i was almost on d verge of tears... but i couldnt cry, later ppl tot i an lian d groom tts y sad to c him get married, rite? lolx... but it also reminded me of my own dreams wic are kinda shattered already... but yest i told myself someday i will b lyk her too... i will find a new dream...enough said... shall look 4ward to my bro's marriage probably next yr-end!! woah~ shall soon b my turn, isnt so? =P P.S: later going to eat sushi buffet + MJC's concert at VCH (die ar, my hw havent finish!) Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Friday, December 26, 2003 11:42 PM
tian hei hei i'm so useless... it rained again... haiz... triggered by some sad song on d radio while i was doing econs!! how easily can emotions flow sia... no link~ it kinda feel relieving to let out after bottling up inside for sooooo long... but still nt relieved enuff... it stil feels lyk a burden on my heart... so nan sou... will b gg swimming tml morning again wif jas... hope to de-stress too! tis is d shortest entry in history i bet... niteX! Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Thursday, December 25, 2003 6:42 PM
Merry X'mas & Happy New Year to all... argh.. sry to my fans who are chasing tis blockbuster drama-blog.. (just found out jaren is one of them!! thanks~ haha) i noe i havent been blogging these days... din feel tat long acty... infact, i let u all take a break fr reading my drama-blog leh... haha~ enuff crap, i'm damn tired now... so better blog faster n go offline to bath... hmm... basically, there r a few things i've to mention, like on tuesday, i went fer my pri sch gathering... damnit, i woke at 8plus to meet every1 at 10am @ the esplanade, but only 3 of us were there... called jinhui and he, in his sleeping voice told us the guys meeting at noon! so atrocious and they din inform us... heck... we had to idle away 2 hrs at the roof terrace & library... took some photos too wif the merlion as bacgrd too~ in d end, we wer hungry and decided to go marina sq to eat first, and den went to suntec to find d guys... only got jinhui, yuting & willie there... everyone else duno whr... and dear... i almost couldnt recog yuting sia! he's changed quite much... to me hor, whenever i thk of him, the image tat comes out in my brain is this short, funny, funny, and more funny guy wearing specs... but now its a taller version of him with contact lenses... more gd-looking liao... and wearing lyk beng beng like tat... haha~ j.k...willie hasnt changed much, but more muscular liao... lolx.. the feeling of seeing them is hard to describe... lyk 5, 6 yrs nv see liao... hard to imagine we wer frens in pri sch, tat sounds lyk such a long ago, childish memory... yet, tat time i felt v grown up already... perhaps cuz we were Pri6, biggest in d sch... but now, i feel like i really grown up sia... and seeing my p sch frens in a diff light now... no longer the childish, playful bois... now all yuan lai yuan man... lolx... even jinhui is no longer donald duck... though i stil thk he 'floats' rather den walks... well, we did nth much but eat, sit, tok abt d old happy days when we were traumatized by brigid Tong... haha~ she's our form teacher cum all-subjects-were-taught-by-her teacher... and thus, we lived in fear everyday til our sec sch days... she will tear n throw our preparation books into pieces, pick on jianhao everytime, and den forbid u to go pick up ur exercise book wic u spent so much brain-cells on d prev nite... and if we din bring anything, we better act like Best Actor/Actress infront of her & try to cover up by using another ex. book... if not, u'll haf to bear the conseq urself... oh yah, she always lyk to say 'gif u the benefit of doubt'... everyday is bad mood for her, and when she wears the cursed purple outfit, we noe its her foul mood day... and we better sit up straight & obey her... haha, yupz, she's really tis terrible but nt to say her everyting bad, she still treated us quite well sometimes... though we hardly believe our eyes and ears when we see her smile or crack a joke... lolx~ but those were d days... tough or not, we've been thru it tog... hmm, we also met up wif desmond, jerry, peisia, joanne, shee zheng, dasheng, andrew... desmond is stil as gd-looking as b4 haha~ tats fact not my own opinion... and the rest of them almost stil d same... oh yah, we bumped into xinwei too...i wont have recog him if nt fer yuting haha~ had lots of fun... in d end, me, wankeng, yuting & joanne sent jiawen back to sengkang & took bus 87 bac home, wic knocked dw a cyclist, we din even noe and thot d bus was stopping at traffic light/bus-stop... till alot of d passengers got dw the bus... wasnt any blood, thk the victim mayb fractured or wat... he looked shocked though...we alighted & took another 87 lor, and yuting walked me home... *thanks*... kinda dark that path... haha~ its just so fortunate being a gal! so long liao tis blog, but i havent mention yest's happenings... shall touch on it briefly now...x'mas eve yest... ocip's x'mas party wic was at serene's hse...quite fun... the guys threw one another into d pool & we played sparklers, making hell of a noise til a man came dwn to ask us to consider abt his 4-mth-old baby who needed some zZz... haha~ hmm, only jaren was lucky enuf to escape being thrown inside d pool... den aik meng v suay, hp dip into h20 i thk got spoilt... den wallet duno put whr got lost... hmm, the most fun part was the gift exchange... i got rachel's present... wic was v original n creative... it was a 'battle A' lvls kit', inside got eraser, highlighters, green tea, bubbles, Snap cards, a pack of glow-in-d-dark stars & sheep fer me to count, and calender to countdown to A'lvl, etc.... haha~ some other presents were kinda interesting too~ lyk the toilet roll holder, towel, baby bolster!! (too bad i din get it, if nt i can add to my collection, now got 2 liao...mayb shd ask yiwen whr he got it... hehe) me & rach took cab home ard 2am... while d rest continue playing zhong ji mi ma, i lost twice and had to eat karopok dipped in some funny anyhow mixed sauce... din taste tat awful also lah... luckily i left b4 i lost 3 times, if nt later haf to do pole dance again lyk tat time in Chiang Mai... guess my fans(of tis blog) are getting tired now... duno hw long it tks for u all to read, but it certainly took me long to blog tis entry, so hope u guys appreciate it... hehe~ cya~ mite nt b blogging so often liao, as sch is reopening next week... (haiz!!!) and my hw is stil like mt. everest... P.S: forgot 2 mention sth! i rec a x'mas greeting sms fr him... so surprised tat he thot of me today... very happy abt it... mayb all our frenship nid is time... exactly 1 yr ago, we quarelled over my job stuff sia... so fast yi nian le... really cant belive it sia~ time waits for no man, woman included... tats me~ =P Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Saturday, December 20, 2003 2:47 PM
if you keep judging others, you'll have no chance, nor time to love them whole-heartedly... listenining to: Always come back to yr love by samantha mumba at first i thought it wasnt possible i thought i wouldnt fall for you but i did strangely when we got together i thought we would last forever i thought we were a heavenly match but the tide turned against us i can still remember and likely to always remember those happy joyful days with you that particular day when i looked into the mirror as you were holding me i told myself yes you are the one my only one but maybe i was wrong your heart doubted mine and chose to leave now after so long and so much i finally realised that sometimes its wrong to walk away though u think its' over but actually no there's so much more to say your feelings have long gone away with the wind and now i am no longer your significant other just a nobody just someone that once crossed your path now i'm wondering if i left footprints but maybe you should know even though the moment's gone i'm still holding on somehow maybe i'm being naive or i have always been maybe i'm being stubborn or my heart is but i'm just holding on to the memories just in case or perhaps at some point or another i'll be numb to it and no longer find it a trouble to think about you without tears *i wrote this poem myself* so proud!! ~hehe~ Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Friday, December 19, 2003 6:40 PM
Trying to move on, alone... Taken from: http://www.tones4u.net/poem/poem.html#mingli and edited bits & pieces Now i know i had it all Cause i had u Just to see u make me smile Why was i too blind to see that i had everything, and u completed me? I can still remember how u held my waist Like u'd never let go But now here i am alone, trying to move on Wondering how our love could go so wrong.. Will your love come back to me Come back again to me When i still believe that u're the one i need Though i'm trying hard to make it through Living is so empty without u Even my laughter ain't joyful my smiles not bright without you And i wonder must we go our own separate ways U would catch my every fall U'd forgive all that u knew was wrong with me But i pushed it far away and Took your goodness for granted Thought your love for me would accomodate my every wrong And u will be waiting for my return I was really wrong What wouldn't I give to turn back the clock I don't wanna find somebody new I dont think I will find somebody new Someone who made my days as great as u did Someone who was my pillar of strength If someday, in some dream we meet again Baby do i have a chance to speak to u again Bcuz reality is too harsh for me I know that if i were to say 'i love u' now It's already too late If someday, your feelings for me return Will you hold me as tightly as before And love me without our past grudges If it isn't u, why was it arranged for us to fall in love Are we being teased by heaven If it isn't u, i don't know who else it will be Cuz the thought that u were not 'the one' didnt ever cross my mind I know i gotta try and start again But the more i try to move on The more i miss you Maybe I'm just avoiding the sadness and keeping the pain within myself Or maybe I'm not trying hard enough Lord, tell me somehow we'll find the way... Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 6:01 PM
the worst may hit u hard but life has to go on.... listening to: when will i hold you [Love Revolution OST] played badminton in d morning, kinda lousy me, i got tired aft less den an hr... jialat, like tat how to tone up my arms!! =( went for lunch at century sq - ba chor mee! yuMMy! bought a fasio lip gloss as x'mas gift for corn (oh did i mention what i bought for d ocip xchange? haha~ its a secret till tat day... only 1 person besides me noes!] went isetan to browse for shoes & i finally bought one pair!! - its white, size 6 and with heels! yeah! i love heels... esp its sleek look, and the 'click clack' sound when walking wif it...the one i bought is not v high though, later fall down den chamz... hehe~ i cant wait to wear it! btw, tell u guyz a secret, when i was young i told myself i will be a career woman when i grow up, in tis way, i can buy myself 100 pairs of heels and wear a diff pair everyday... so feminine & pretty... i hope i will still realise my dream & own many pairs of heels & nice shoes... haha~ at first, i was procrastinating whether to buy anot, cuz i scare later i buy on impulse mar, den my fren kept saying i was too picky, so in d end i went back to buy, since i already went orchard & metro also dun haf wat i like... (or mayb i was really being too picky?) will be gg swimming at 830 in the morning tml! woah~ cool huh... hope to c some cute guys there or hot bods! =P *all i want for christmas is U* Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Thursday, December 18, 2003 9:16 PM
i am not alone in this walk... my friends are there... yeah, had a gr8 time with constance today... last time i saw her was during my bdae... hehe~ though so long nv c, the feeling of frenship bonding was stil there, seeing her reminds me of the days we spent in sec2, like siao char bo... den we din get into d same class in upper sec... however, she's no longer the constance in sec2 hor, tat one is more serious-looking (looks deceive! haha~)... with her specs... now in place of tat ger, is a prettier constance with longer hair den mine... and still ever so nice features... hehe~ if i'm a guy i will surely like her, however i noe she's same as me, too high expectations liao so always find it hard to find some1 haha~ hmm, today we went shopping! from hereen to far east to bugis... and i bought a pink skirt... yah, PINK!... haha dont sound like my usual taste hor... in fact i had difficulty deciding b/w 2 pink skirts... kinda regret, i shd haf bought d other one...i thk it will be more matching with d blouse i got from U2... haha~ but nvm, the one i bought is not bad also... we went to tk neo-card again! heh~ two lovely gers in d photo... lamination was free somemore... spent quite alot today, but nvm lah, its a happie day... and was touched by wat constance gave me as x'mas pressie, a box of mint choco... surprised cuz i din expect her to remember or even noe i like mint... and touched cuz she din just anyhow get a present, but got sth she knew i will like... so thanks! hope our frenship will b lasting & ever-growing... tml will b playing badminton! wanna go swimming also, but duno jas back fr genting liao not... heh~ shd get myself into some decent shape lah, go gatherings always hear 'eh, u become fatter liao leh'... (though the opposite is true) haha~ Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Wednesday, December 17, 2003 10:11 PM
its raining inside my heart... today is d first time aft the answer that it rained...kinda spurred by the radio wic was playing sad music... haha~ i kinda tried to control, focus and not think... but den, i knew i was juz avoiding... i knew he still mattered to me... i was just trying to pian zi ji... hmm, i'm feeling much more calm now... mayb it might tk me longer to forget than i expected... reading thru my past diary entries, i see the times we went thru, happy, sad, angry... those moments may b gone, but they will b ever so dear to my heart... my x'mas wishlist: i wanna get a 1) discman 2) $$$ haha~ 3) a closer r/s wif God, frens & family 4) love actually soundtrack & vCd!! 5) jay's mtv vCd last but not least, there are 2 things tat i wont get back but its what i want most: a) i really regret throwing away the ******* in a moment of anger... haiz, if not, now will have more memories... b) to be able to spend all the x'mas in my life with him... Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Tuesday, December 16, 2003 11:33 PM
chi bao mei shi zhuo hmm, today's outing was abit more fun than i had thot it to be... i went to see 'love actually' again! it was stil so gr8 and funny! wanna get the vcd & the soundtrack... karl was so cute, plus hugh grant was nt bad, and d other guy who liked juliet.. hehe~ for dinner, we went to seoul garden, paid $18 each! weili farted... so smelly haha~ had quite a enjoyable time chatting wif them... hongkai stil nv change much, stil v hong... esp he keep eating my tofu!! and also huiwen's... some others were quite quiet, or mayb just din tok much to me, haha~ btw, johnny hao xiang you zhang gao le... not fair... i use his tactic everytime jump also nv grow taller... i thk he teach me lousy methods... haha j.k shall stp here, my bro wanna use d comp, i also wanna go orh orh le... zZzZzz *dreaming, dreaming... of you & i* Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 10:41 AM
i will b single (but unavailable) for a year!! yest serene told me abt the new club they wer setting up... known as Single Lamerist Club... *abit lame* but tats d point, the contract is tat we haf to b fr ocip, lame & not get involved in BGR for a year! tat, i hope wouldnt prove difficult for me to obey... haha~ its kinda gd in a way lah, since my A's are next yr... the consequences of breaking d contract is kinda gross, got wat blended drink (like the one in zhong ji mi ma game), lap dance etc... hmm, but anyway, i'm part of tis club for now, i am d Deputy Prime Minister... lolz~ membership will start fr x'mas, so we will b counting down to the opening of d club on x'mas eve @ serene hse... haha~ i'm juz kinda worried abt breaking d contract, like tis yr, i thot ther wouldnt b any happenings, but God stil arranged for them to come into my life... nah, i guess i can control tings.. will b gd fer my studies too... yeah~ (i jus haf to step down & tk a rest from love) later will b going for sec class gathering... abit sian... dun feel lyk gg actually.. but nvm lor, if really ultimate sian, den go back earlier nor... shall blog to here today, quite short hor? =P *though we dont seem to haf the fate to be tog forever, but i thank you for once crossing my path, because I wouldnt be who i am today without you.. * P.S: u're still welcome to come back bcuz u'll make a difference in my life... Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Monday, December 15, 2003 7:11 PM
you're dangerous, very dangerous indeed... sometimes i wonder if its all fate when people come & go in ur life... today i thot abt a fren, a v gd fren in d past, and wonder was it sth i did tat cause us to b not in contact now? the last time i counted, it was 4 months since we saw/contact each other... and yet she lives just a 5 mins walk from me... always been thking mayb all along, i wasnt a gd enuff fren for her, and dats y acty she's glad to get rid of me... but den i dun thk she's tat hypocrite... surely those 4yrs of frenship were sincere & true? actually, i rather if there's really some problems, that we can sit tog and talk abt it... but she doesnt seem to b willing... earlier on tis yr, i made myself try v hard... so hard till it was so sad & hurting as there were not much response fr her... later part of tis yr, i began to try less harder... and on her bdae, i made a scrapbk for her & delivered it myself to her postbox...not sure if i had inserted into d wrong slot or what, but since then i had no news fr her... mayb i haf sort of accepted it, that its hard fer us to remain or go back to d frens we were b4, but all i'm hoping is tat we can stil keep in contact... juz sms-ed her asking if she will b gg to d gathering tml, and as i expected i din get a reply... mayb she changed her hp no, or simply she's not replying... though i kinda find it tough to make myself believe she's tat kind of person aft these yrs of frenship & sharing... everytime i see her on msn, i go msg her say hi but not long aft she logs in, she will be offline... and tis leads me to suspect she's 'appearing offline'... haiz~ what did i do to deserve tis i really dun get it... i put much into d frenship and now wat do i get? though i got many gr8 frens in jc now, but she's stil a fren i'm missing... missing alot in fact... *hope tat one day, someday... our frenship will b renewed* and if she does see tis entry, i'll like to tell her, i duno y tings are in tis state... but if u really wanna to end d frenship, at least let me noe why... hmm, mayb enuff of the above... if not d whole entry will b non-stop sadness... and den later my mood wil b affected... mayb lets tok abt some happy stuff... in d morning, i went to VJ for THC training workshop, the env was quite old but big compound... hmm, got to meet a few VJ-cians, they wer quite friendly... and d gers were sweet like angels... spotted some SG also, v spotty, wear glasses, wif double-side bag...typical VJ guys... but qlty is abit better den tpj's guys lah... haha~ many of them look at us v curiously as they walk pass, wondering what the hell were tampinesians doing in THEIR school... anyway, d workshop was lengthy but quite fun lah... at least we got off at 4pm, and got free food & beverages... (however, we'l nid to pay $10 for d workshop, so its not really free)... hmm, den aft tat, we went to parkway eat ice-cream! one big scoop $2.50... din eat gelare though... next time tues half-price den go eat... haha~ acty, i'm not v looking-4ward to d 4E2 gathering tml... *oOpS* den my mum is kinda bu shuang wif me, cuz i told her i wont be eating dinner @ home again tml... i noe i havent been eating at home quite often last week, but den she shd understand... if i dun enjoy now, den wait till next yr i haf to battle wif A' liao leh... somemore, eating outside also means i haf to spend more $$... but tml is bo pian mar... aie... sometimes its really unfair... my sis & bro dun eat at home as well, therefore i haf to b my parents' companion for dinner... (wic is usually d case), so y is she grumbling just these few occasions when i'm eating out? ok, sorry, i'm starting to bore u all... but u can skip reading if u're feeling bored, but i juz nid to vent all i'm feeling rite now... (wic is quite alot, if u've been reading fr juz now...) argh!! another ting tat is bugging me is i am starting to self-doubt & qns myself if i really feel nth towards (unnamed)... *anyomous* is quite a dangerous person, i'm afraid to like him... i dun wanna like him... so i better keep my distance... btw, dont nid to qns me who's *anyomous*... i wont say... not now... (if u duno who i am toking abt, juz pretend u are readin a story)haha~ but i am sure i can control my feelings... surely there muz b a way to end it b4 it starts going out of control... dun wanna put myself in a miserable, disadavantaged position... yesh, i'm selfish, i'm egoistic, i'm afraid, but i'm only protecting my own interests... self above love... haha~ shall stop blogging (u are glad too rite?)... ta-ta... Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Sunday, December 14, 2003 6:03 PM
mayb i have forgotten, mayb i havent.. today morning watched huan zhu ge ge... so nice & funny... the zhao wei changed alot sia.. last time she act stil chubby chubby, now see her in d marie france bodyline.. gai tou huan mian sia.. gr8 figure... tat's my target... haha~ btw, yest had fun at bbq.. yiwen's hse was gr8.. v nice ambience and wind blowing @ d balcony.. facing the swimming pool also..*like tat can everyday c bikini babes hor* haha... but den i dun thk many ppl swim there.. bbq food was quite yummy.. got chicken wings, marshmallows, hotdogs etc... hmm, then those pple actually formed many cliques & went diff corners to ba-gua... without me!! muz be toking bad abt me huh?! haha.. j.k hmm, it was more fun for me when mr tang came.. we started to tok & joke abt siobei lor.. haha more funny was when babara came.. yah, and babara was guessing hu was aaron's gf... den she guess wrongly.. she thot its me.. haha.. hope dorcas wont be angry.. cuz 'zaizai' & 'jolin' is impossible as 'jolin' got zhou jie lun liao.. haha... but den i din join them to ton.. sad... so i left wif weiyang & yeefung.. den i realized that d ocip guys are all so nice... they v gentleman, both sent me home.. haha~ thanks huh! i v honoured got liang ge da nan ren send me... on d bus, we had a nice chat.. got to noe more abt them also... my mum's cooking curry veggie!! gr8... i love them! yum.. cant wait for dinner.. *so hungry now* (kinda deserved it lah, who ask me to skip lunch?) haiz.. been thking over tat matter.. wonder if i haf really accepted & moved on, or i'm juz avoiding the matter & sweeping things under d carpet? cuz i havent think of it fer quite long liao but mayb its cuz i'v been too busy to allow myself to b sad, or mayb i keep pushing thoughts abt it away... but at least i am happy these few days.. so mayb not thking abt it will heal the wound.. as for other stuff & affairs of d heart, i probably will try my best not to get involved actually.. today i saw a quote in the newpaper wic says 'Love is not just about the feelings u have for each other, rather its also about commitment, responsibility & mutual respect' ... to me, love seems like a energy-draining, time-consuming task now... or mayb i am too pessimistic abt it... haha~ btw... juz found out tat i shdn't underestimate guys... but most of all, i shdnt overestimate them too... cuz sometimes they still cmi... *there are many tears in the heart that never reach the eyes.. but tat doesnt mean there is no hurt/pain* Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Friday, December 12, 2003 4:31 PM
its a damn boring day.. another unproductive day.. haiz~ today is another boring day.. abit like yesterday but at least i din get pissed off so much.. so fast, i've wasted another week of my precious holidays.. got no idea how time pass also.. only noe i've been having lots of fun going out or lots of boredom at home.. even being online is boring bcuz ther's no much ppl online now to chat to.. so does life sux? nah.. it doesnt.. its juz abit boring here & there... btw i also duno y i'm blogging as ther's nth interesting actually.. only gr8 thing was i went to the love actually website.. wic was kinda cool.. yupz & it was at first hateful as they din put up the real name of the cute guy karl in d movie.. but in d end aft looking thru d whole site, i managed to crack down the mystery man.. he's Rodrigo Santoro..whoever he is.. he's cute.. so i went to search fer some of his pics & got a nice one.. its going to be my msn pic fer some time.. not to mention wallpaper... i'm in gd luck these days.. spotting lots of eye-candies.. hmm, saw the following prose on debo's blog & sorry huh, decided to copy & paste it here.. (at least i gave credits to debo) as it kinda suits me sending to another person i noe.. maybe its kinda 'jue qing' but den no offence shd be taken... its juz kinda suitable for me to send it to... (unnamed) to my guy frens out there, its not u .. dun worry... not any1 fr my class, ocip, prss... dear XX... i hav never considered myself your girlfriend... i hav never considered the possiblity... for it is not possible... i apologise if i hav led u to think otherwise... we simply dun click... i'm sure u will find your princess soon... i know too... that i'm not your princess... were u the one who stayed up till the wee hrs juz to keep me company during my rehearsals...? were u the one who played starring games with me till your eyes started to tear...? were u the one who brought me out to dinner...? were u the one who spent sunday afternoons with me at burger king juz to eat our favorite strawberry ice-cream pie...? were u the one who dragged me to suntec city to shop and hav dinner together after school at 5.15pm...? were u the one who was so engaged in my conversation that u walked into a glass wall at borders the bookstore...? were u the one who gave me your precious crystal juz cuz i wanted it...? were u the one whose parents always talk about me...? were u the one who was there to watch me cry...? were u the one who was bashed up by me when i was angry... were u the one who followed me wherever i went even on days when my mood was foul...? were u the one who travelled long train rides with me when i was tired and juz needed someone to stare at...? were u the one who got lost with me at east coast...? were u the one who made me laugh till i cried with all your silly acts...? u weren't... and i'm not inclined to share those moments with you either... thankz for being so nice to me... i appreciate u as a friend. anyway, yest chatted wif jaren & he was kinda ba-gua-ing hor... haha~ some interesting qns he asked.. or shd i say weird... but anyway, quite long nv chat wif him properly.. cant blame me.. he's mr busy wat... haha~ but tml is d bbq liao.. hope alot of d ocip ppl will go.. quite long nv see some of them... going bugis to gai gai too wif wx before d bbq.. perhaps get some clothes to update my wardrobe.. (even my mum's complaining abt my lack of clothes.. so nobody can tell me not to waste $$...) alas, despite my brain's warnings to start my hw... (hey i did some MCQ practice fer econs online juz now ok!!) i'm still bumming ard, refusing to sit down properly on my desk & start up my engine.. but i promise myself to finish d econs essays by next week... (tat's a promise... but hopefully not an empty one huh..) hehe~ shall go now.. being online doesnt appeal to me today... Am I right to self-doubt? Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Thursday, December 11, 2003 4:51 PM
What Heaven Was Like [NOTE: An email fr a fren.. though i dun really understand the very end, but its kinda interesting & touching as well.. bcuz of what Jesus did for him.. do tk time to read..] THE ROOM 17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. "I wowed 'em," he later told his father, Bruce. "It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the best thing I ever wrote." It also was the last. Brian's parents had forgotten about the essay when a cousin found it while cleaning out the teenager's locker at Teays Valley High School in Pickaway County. Brian had been dead only hours, but his parents desperately wanted every piece of his life near them, notes from classmates and teachers, his homework. Only two months before, he had handwritten the essay about encountering Jesus in a file room full of cards detailing every moment of the teen's life. But it was only after Brian's death that Beth and Bruce Moore realized that their son had described his view of heaven. It makes such an impact that people want to share it. You feel like you are there." Mr. Moore said. Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted. The Moores framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. "I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it, " Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death. "I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him. Brian's Essay: The Room... In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and ex! ploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have said in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature. When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented. When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried! to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it.. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand. And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the file! s and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me. Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." - Phil. 4:13 Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 1:00 PM
i am a stoner, a slacker, a lazy, nothing-to-do genius!! =P hmm, yest was fun siaz.. went out wif huiyi, lewis, aikmeng, serene & lisa to watch love actually.. it was the 2nd round for aik.. haha.. thk he got too much $$.. yah, btw, the movie was gr8.. i thk its d first movie i ever really enjoyed & understand & will rmb (hopefully?).. pluz there was a damn shuai guy inside, though he din appear in d ending lorz.. cool sia him.. look lik my dream guy wu yan zu haha.. ten times of him lah.. j.k den we also played pool, wic i was so lousy & not concentrating on.. aft tat, we went long john eat lor.. lousy service there.. then we play the 'who can dun blink first' game.. and i won several times.. so li hai horz.. den serene had to go & aik meng sent her home lor.. duno whats his motive hor? hehe~ yah, so lisa, me & lewis went to esplanade to walk walk & tk photos!! den end up only me & lewis as lisa had to go clementi liaoz.. yah, so we went to see the merlion, so pretty but kinda dark cuz v few nice boats.. so we sat and chit-chat an hr maybe den lewis, being d gentleman, sent me home lor.. haha.. kinda feel bad cuz i thk he also had to walk home, nt sure far not.. tat's d gd fortune of being a ger, get sent home everytime haha~ thankz anyway... today i wont b going out liaoz.. hoping to start some lit reading later.. or else i'll nv get them done i thk.. so many poems to read, 20+ i thk.. mr reynolds stil say 'a few'.. hehe~ well, since jaren says he's bored & waiting to read my blog now so i shall end off here... *looking fwd to the bbQ!* Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Wednesday, December 10, 2003 1:13 PM
If you think life is a bed of roses, continue dreaming... i shan't wake u up yet.. my life is busy these days... busy with going out & having fun! yup.. yest i din blog (a record!) cuz i was simply too sleepy! oh yah, master & commander wasnt too bad.. but huyi & i had to bear wif our urge to go toilet for 2 hrs plus sia.. jialat.. haha~ den aft movie on monday i met up wif lm, and went over her hse aft we ate long john & tk neoprints! we tok tok lor until she was stil toking abt leo.. then i totally cok out liaoz & fell aslp haha~ leaving her to switch off d lights.. paiseh huh~ i was too tired.. engine totally no batt and off itself... yup, wen i woke up @ 5am plus i was blur blur and wondering y no lights.. so i called out 'lm'? and was met wif total silence.. except snoring.. haha j/k.. and morning i wore her MJ uniform and tk fotos.. haha l00k like a nurse sia.. tats a zhi lian kuan side of me... shhhhh.... hmm, then yest.. went to genki sushi after my sis called me to arrange lunch.. yah lorz, acty was so sianz wan to go home zz one but nvm lah, cuz at genki hor, got a SG lorz.. kinda cute... so din mind.. haha i dun thk he juz o lvl finish though my sis says so.. he looks older.. hmm, anyway we got abit eye contact.. haha~ and he said thank u to me when i left d table.. so i said welcome!! haa~ woah... gotta go ther again... *=P* today.. i'm gg out later to watch love actually lorz, wic we din manage to catch twice liao. so hopefully later wil get tics... haha~ hmm, kinda sianz cuz i hvt started my hw.. wic is piling up like hell.. i wish money was piling instead... i nid a loan.. DBS? OCBC? haha.. aie sianz leh.. kinda feel bit down today... hope later going out wil cheer me up.. btw.. lm showed me the link to the cute guy of MJ (to be unnamed here)... haha his frenster was kinda boring wif few details abt himself.. but he look like Utt sia.. so cute his pic.. but too bad lah i thk he got gf liao... haha, btw i dont even noe him.. he doesnt noe my existence lah.. and i'm not flower crazy rachel.. i'm juz looking for some eye-candy to spice up my mundane, boring, feeling-down days... Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Monday, December 08, 2003 11:43 AM
are you aware of what you make feel..baby.. right now, i feel invisible to you, like i'm not real... hmm, laz nite i was watching star awards.. feel happy tat sharon au won fer best variety show host... and also tat patricia mok won for best supporting role... yahzz thk she deserves some credit.. kinda touched when she went up to tk her award & say her acceptance speech.. haha~ but i was not happy wif michelle saram being in top 10... nvm... yahz... later its gg to be a long day... i'm going to meet lewis, rachel, huiyi & weiyang to go PS later to watch "love actually".. yah, den aft tat, wil be meeting lm to go her hse overnite... we going to ton see till what time we can stay awake haha... i thk every yr we wil ton once there.. so our longest record was 5am i thkz... hmm haha its another session of ba-gua later... i've to go now.. yupz nid to prepare for my long day later... cya.. been blogging everyday... so maybe its time to stop abit here & write in my diary tml instead haha... lets c how... Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Sunday, December 07, 2003 12:50 PM
i'm plagued with a nagging bad feeling... god plz bless.. hmm, duno y but my conscience seems to b pricking.. mayb itz cuz my mum n aunt are gg malacca tml to visit some relatives... and i'm nt gg.. den kinda haf a worry tat sth might happen.. *touchwood* so i prayed and hope i'm juz being worry wart.. yupz, i went bedok juz nw & had breakfast @ BK.. alone.. wif myself..guoliang sms-ed to say he saw me @ ntuc.. haha! but din get to meet him... been quite some time since i saw him.. heard he got a gf liaoz.. but he nv show me pic.. alamak... also, yest when i was waiting fer the bus to go sch tk SAT, recd an sms fr weiluo.. he also saw me as he was on bus no.22... kinda surprised he can stil recog me.. havent contact each other fer soooo long... yupz, he was on night shift so gg home to slp.. nv see him fer very long time le.. but stil wil rmb those days we chatted on d phone.. quite fun & nice.. haha~ thats when i had a small small crush on him.. but those wer the days... nth much to blog liao.. kinda sian.. might be gg to lm's hse to stay overnite tml lehz, but haven cfm... the angel in me is nagging at me to go m'ysia wif my mother.. but i really hate the long-distance travelling on bus lorz.. waste of time.. i also wan to start my hw liao fr next week.. the hol wil be over b4 i realize...and i'm not yet recharged nor prepared for next year's battle... hai~ BUT i'll 'gambate'!!! every1 jiayou too... =P Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Saturday, December 06, 2003 9:14 PM
Need to get more fun & rest in this dec hol to recharge for next yr's battle!!! heyhey, glad to see tat my tagboard isnt empty.. hehe~ yupz, i'm over & done with SAT!!! today's maths section was easily den wat i attempted yest nite, while the verbal section can b said to be much harder.. esp the first part wher they gif a sentence & u haf to choose a word to fit into it... wow... the 5 choices given were kinda redundant acty, bcuz all wer super chim words tat i haf nv come across..so i dec. to skip those qns.. ended up leaving 10+ qns blank.. hah~ some of them i tikam.. hope my scores will not be as lan as <1000.. yah, anyway today saw zw & was abit awkward lor.. esp when aft SAT, andy & i was walking past the classrm he was in.. he was just beside the window.. omg.. and den i kinda din noe wher to look, so i look @ the grd lor.. yupz..den when i was on the 2nd level, jiaxi waved to me fr grd floor & he was wif zw they all.. at first i was thking dun wave bac, den i thk like v dao lik tat, so aft 3secs or so, i waved back & dat time i was so paiseh, cuz jx already put his hand down liao.. i was really kinda slow.. but din expect he wil still wave lor.. yupz.. i am quite sure tat i am right in turning zw down lah.. but we r stil frenz lor.. yupz, so aft all these, rachel & i wer showing our classmates our OCIP photos and she, being the ultimate exaggerater & liar.. keep pointing to mo mo some1 in the photos & telling the rest some untruths... and keep luffing... till i had to pok her to make her stop.. wic unfortunately din help much... den we went to meet the rez of them at the foyer, aft waiting fer wat seemed to be hours fer dunno what.. we went to white sands magic wok to eat.. then i saw some mj ppl coming in, fer no reason my zi jue told me tat e guy was leo, kinda strange cuz i only saw his photo once..den i called lm & told her abt it.. in d end i thk i can cfm its him as he also carry a white sling bag like wat lm described...haha~ kinda thk my intuition is so zun today.. he is nt bad looking IRL (in real life) lah.. haha~ i noe lm will surely disagree & say he's damn shuai, cute, nice, this & tat.. hehe~ okz, aft eating i got a sms fr lewis saying he wouldnt b here as he got rashes.. kinda sianz fer him.. hope he'l get better soon.. so, we finally got to weiyang's hse to watch the videos.. and it brought bac many memories, seeing ourselves in those videos.. wic was abt 4 hrs long, but we keep fast fwding cuz some parts wer so sian, or had 'siow ba' in it... yah, sometimes those scenes seemed kinda far & stranger to me lik tat.. like seeing myself inside & not feeling as if i had been there.. but other parts wer certainly v touching.. esp wen huiyi & i caught the voice of teh-kopi shouting out "teh-kopi"! so cute... miz him lots.. aft ard 6 lik tat, yiwen, jaren, yumei & aik meng had to leave bcuz they wanted to go marina watch 'love actually' so all of us left.. ther was stil a video unwatched.. yupz, so in d end we left & the rez of us wer standing in the middle of the road as ther wer no cars ard... kinda fun haha~ hmm, den huiyi & i went to the mac near my hse to 'muum muum', ba gua abt my past & the ocip ppl & den finally head home... interesting, fun day i had.. huiyi is supposed to come online leh, wonder if she fell asleep instead haha~ and oh yah, yiwen is so efficient, he's lobang king leh.. he announced our bbQ will be next sat @ serene's condo.. hehe~ we guyz are meeting every sat since our return sia.. kinda nice.. hope we will haf lunch/dinner tog even aft sch reopens.. huiyi also suggested mayb set aside a particular day of every week to haf recess break tog.. kinda nice but the canteen always no spaces.. hmm, nth interesting is happening online.. shd i go to bed... what a long entry...Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Friday, December 05, 2003 6:24 PM
Feeling sick of html Yeah, at least i gotta much ahead today liao... i got a new blogskin & also manage to get the tag board on my own!! phew! (kinda naggy today, post so many entries..) Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 5:34 PM
Feeling defeated by my Mini-SAT scores... I'm quite sure i will have to retake SAT next year.. judging fr my last minute SAT preparation... i feel so damn pissed with my results hah~ and something was wrong wif the mouse, keep skipping over qns.. so 33 qns i only did 17, without me noticing... argh... quite bored with it... dun thk i wanna practice liao.. and i juz found out tat the test will take up to 3 hrs at least! wats tis man? i thk i will fall asleep b4 the test ends... hoping to get SAT out of my way... Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 12:02 PM
Wishing upon a magical star before i forget.. happy birthday (kang) jiaxi... this guyz is going to NS soon, wish him all d bez & tk care huh.. lolz maybe itz time he shd tap out huh... BTW, as u guyz shd have observed if u have stepped into my blog b4, i have changed my blogskin.. i like this black template [deep thoughts] so mysterious yet minimalist huh... would like to say thankz to jas, she was the one who gave me step-by-step instructions how to go abt it.. certainly not who yeefung asked me to go to.. haha~ i dun thk he recommended the right person... Signing out, c'est la vie & life goes on... 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 10:40 AM
i recd the courage award nothing much to blog abt today, as u can see its stil b4 my usual waking time haha~ anyway, these few days i keep getting weird dreams, like last time, i... ha, i juz forgot wat i dreamt abt.. anyway, the dreams seem to b disturbing my sleep... despite sleeping fer so many hrs for the previous days.. i stil haf eye circles.. whats tis man? hai~ juz woke up & came online wherby i talked to jaren fer awhile b4 he said he gg to change wat ps2 gun.. all the games language that left me confused, and b4 i gotta a chance to say any further he was offline liaoz.. exactly... anyway, he told me they will be gg dwn to the what john little (xiao john) sales later & wanted me to join them. but i promised myself i will practice my 1100 words today fer tml's SAT.. (yah, i noe its abit ling shi bao fo jiao, but @ least betta den nv do anything abt it rite?) mayb i really get gr8 luck & ace it there & then huh!!?? so i guess i probably wouldnt be gg out today.. anyway, kinda feel happy that HE (shall remain anonymous here) told me its ok to b frenz.. and mayb he is right, the time is juz not right yet.. sometimes i wonder how long will it take.. apparently, 1 year is nt enuff.. juz let nature tk its course lor.. i thk he's abit flattered anyway but i was smiling when he commented on my courage.. well, i'm a strong g3r, not every ger can do so like me! ahaha~ bps.. but i nv regret it, though it din turn out to b the way i want, but i stil think its gr8 to get the burden off my shoulders... and if he is reading this, (mostly not), i juz wanna say tat i shd be alrite.. shall end here, i always say theres nth to blog abt, but ended up saying yi da dui... pardon pardon... Signing out, ces't la vie (that's life) - quite true huh... [taken fr yeefung's msn nick] 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Thursday, December 04, 2003 12:53 PM
i.am.a.dog.without.sense.of.smell good afternoon guyz... surprisingly, these 2 days i hv been waking up @ 11plus in d morning and my mum din make much noise... also duno why leh, doesnt seem lik my usual self to slp til half the day gone haha~ i usually wake ard 9-10.. hmm, probably cuz i m sick ba.. my nose juz refuses to unblock itself & now my throat is starting to be funny wif me.. anyway, juz gotta news tat we wil b gg weiyang's hse to screen d OCIP videos this sat after SAT examz, kinda excited... wonders wat kind of emotions wil b stirred whn watching d videos? yesterdayz, i went out wif oioi (rachel), zanthe was supposed to come but laz minute she got an appt so it was only d 2 of us. nevertheless, we had alot of fun, went to ajisan for jap food.. but it wasnt tat gr8 tasting.. we also met soo ling & xiao jie and talked wif them fer awhile b4 they go get x'mas presents. and rach was the ultimate exaggerater, not to say Ms Cheeky!! keep exaggerating tat i like this guy fr OCIP & how good n nice he is.. but she was lying... but i cant shut her up so i juz listen to her tall-tales with a wide-open mouth & innocent eyes, praying tat soo ling wil not believ her!!! hmm, we also took neoprints TWICE..haha~ and we wrote alot of funny msgs on them eg: the clement-inspired "pls lor dont lame lor" and rachel's "what's tis man?"... haha~exactly.. it was fun posing, but as usual rachel stil say i was passive in d photos. well, cant help smiling sweetly into d camera ma.. but at least i tried screwing up my expressions once or twice.. real nice machine, gotta get other ppl to tk wif me the next time we go bugis!! den while we wer chatting at the MRT platform, rach's frenz sara called her as she found out she had to go RJC to take her SAT.. she was damn worried & rachel had to spend 10minutes 'pacifying' her & tell her not to worry.. aft tat, we sat ard talking abt some of the ocip guys (ba gua session again) & finally boarded the train.. we cdnt finish talking den we decided to meet on MSN.. tats basically wat's interesting abt yest... today, we wer supposed to meet up @ d mac near my hse to do LIT, christina rossetti poems & the monk, but laz min, i recd notification tat rachel cant make it liaoz, so i guess i probably gg to slack at home again haha~ cuz i'm too broke to go out! so i hope i wil b able to get some practice fer SAT today... the test is only 2 days away!!! Signing out, i am going to bath & eat my yummy maggie mee!! (70cents only, cheap lunch rite?) hope my blog is entertaining enuff! 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Wednesday, December 03, 2003 2:38 PM
sad poem to share wif u guyz life had been lonely, things arent going my way, looking out of the windows, rain fell watching them fall, forming countless of small circles, wish i was under the rain with him in a romantic walk he was once there laughing with me teasing me missed you so much he was there when i fell when i felt so lonely when no one even look at me when everyone desert me he had his warms arms and comfort around me looking back at the rain warm tears sprung out from my eyes i couldnt hold back anymore now that he wouldnt be here with me anymore somehow it was he who put me back from pieces now he had crushed me again to pieces 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves 12:56 PM
life goes on... well well, i m suppposed to meet my frenz to go bugis, as usual she hasnt reply my sms, though her efficiency has improved by lots since 2 mths ago.. haha~ (tats a compliment, NOT) anyway, b4 i continue babble in language tat most of u are unable to figure out, let me say wat happened tat was interesting..(slightly) hmm, earlier when i was in dreamland, i dreamt i had a bf (duno hu he is in real life).. well, quite handsome, so sweet, and a real 'prince' haha... j/k, but i rmb tat he was a v nice guy.. and then my mum keep asking me to tell her his identity!! and i refused & quickly told him to 'kuai tian zou'... lolz it was so funny, i figured why i had tis dream was bcuz: ystd i told mum tat i will be hafing dinner out tonite, and she jokingly said, wif ur bf huh?... haha, so it triggers off the dream abt my mum wanting to noe whos my bf.. haha~ bit lame, but nevertheless a sweet dream.. maybe he does exists in real life, and mayb i will meet him soon... (haha hua ci) so so, i keep feeling tired, god knows why? though i slpt 12 hrs every nite since i returned fr my trip, compensating fer my late nights there.. really miz those times in Chiang Mai.. arH! and i juz finished reading the book 'a treasury of miracles' or sth lik tat, its a damn powerful & wonderful book. would lik to recommend to all d christians out ther, or even to non-believers, cuz the book leaves such a gr8 impact on u, and assures u of God's presence ard U.. wic reminds me tat i havent return another book to jasmine.. huh.. paiseh, will return when i meet her out someday after SAT!! speaking of wic, i havent started studying fer it.. oh uh!! Signing out, cant.wait.to.step.out.and.seek.company. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves Tuesday, December 02, 2003 11:50 AM
what's meant by "somethings can never be changed"? tis morning, i recd an email from somebody who told me somethings can never be changed, it kinda spurred me to create this blog.. as i was wondering what the hell... why cant things be changed.. wasn't i a very good example tat things can turn a 360degrees? but nah, mayb i m the 1 in a million people who can change in strange ways & den go out to shock myself & others.. den i was feeling sad, angry, hateful & all kind of strong emotions tat attempted to break me down into a billion pieces. and i m now reminded of the yang xiong who told wanwan "ni neng ting dao wo xin shui de shen yin mar?" and i kinda feel tat all seems to b lost. i really duno if tis path is right fer me, is God going to create a miracle 5years later, or is this the Lord's wise decision for me? good qns asked, and i m stil pondering.. and now, what m i going to do for e rez of the day? Signing out, The first entry of this 17-year-old slacker 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves |
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