~songs in my head~

没有地球太阳还是会绕.

But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you.

I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah

~ MOTTO ~
:: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. ::

~ THOUGHTS ~
By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28)

For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.

"God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21)

"I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

:: juz taking a moment to remember ::

Sunday, August 08, 2010 5:47 PM

if love moves in circles, perhaps my circle is finally complete

i realized, finding a lasting love is like finding a dress that fits you well, one that can complement your assets, and hide your flaws.

why do i say that?
many times when i shop online, or surf on other people's blogs,
i find myself drooling over a dress that looked so perfect on that particular model/girl.
but when i buy or try the same dress, or if i see another girl whose body frame is more similar to mine, i will see then "ahh... this dress may be lovely, but (sadly) it may not be for me"
it probably doesnt fit as well on me as when i originally saw it.
or maybe the dress is meant for more curvaceous/taller/larger frame girls.
and that makes me a little sad but i tell myself, there will be another dress that i like and fits me well.... afterall, there are so many types of dresses out there.
and there may be one dress that fits me better than it fits any other girl.

in love, this theory applies too.
humans tend to have this "the grass is greener on the other side" thinking
because we are always comparing ourselves to others,
and comparing our partners to our friends' boyfriends, husbands, lovers.
even when we are single, we may look at certain seemingly perfect (generous, funny, loving, sexy, gentle, smart, rich blah blah) men and imagine them as ours...
but what we dont realize is that though a guy may look good on the arms of another girl,
but he may not necessary be suited for us.
i guess increasingly R's "best-fit line" theory (you may not find someone who is perfect but you can aim to find someone who is best fit for you) is making sense to me.

I googled "best-fit line"....

Best-fit Line

This is used to fit data to a known mathematical function. Suppose you have some data involving two variables, in the form of several pairs of values for them. To find about the relationship between the variables, the first step is to plot the pairs of values as coordinates of points on a graph.

Then if you draw a line on your graph, so that the line passes through or close to as many of the points as possible, then you have drawn the best-fit line. By drawing such a line, we are attempting to minimise the effects of random errors in the measurements.

For example, if our points look like this

our best-fit line should be as shown in the next diagram.

interesting that i am starting to apply a mathematical/physics theory to love. haha.
but it does make sense - typically in our minds/hearts (depending on whether you use more logical or emotional thinking) we will plot ourselves with that prospective/potential partner - our personalities, compatibilities, differences etc, to visualize how a partnership/relationship might work out. assuming we are able to plot these "values" onto a graph, and we can draw a line that passes through or gets as close to as many of those points as possible, then that person would be quite ideal for you. i suppose that is how this theory works.

i think both of us plotted that graph and drew a best-fit line in each of our minds. :)
time and place did play a big part in determining this line though.
i think we wouldnt have been right for each other when we were in hall or when we first knew each other as og mates couple of years back.
and this relationship reminds me of the very first serious one i had in secondary school with AL...
the common denominator was that both started from friendships...
and i guess thats what makes me think or feel that if love moves in circles, perhaps my circle is finally complete, because i fell in love with my best male friend again!
i've been through a couple more relationships after AL... but i didnt share much mutual friends with those boyfriends, and they all started off very superficially, based on "feelings", appearances/looks and just a spark of 好感。。not much knowledge and understanding of the other parties.. and because after AL, i thought i never would get involved with a good friend again.. since ive already experienced what its like to lose a friendship due to a breakup.
but this time round, its pretty amazing and totally unexpected.. because our feelings only developed after we know each other for 5 years!
there is nothing superficial about it, and i hope the foundation of the friendship we had will be the strength of our relationship.

speaking of which, i really miss him while he is away on his tioman trip!
this weekend seems too long without him to bring a little cheer and laughter to me
the next time i see him will be 10th august!
turning 24 "officially" in 2 days time.. definitely feeling old.
even my dressing is more comfort over style nowadays and im always worried that my skirt/dress is too short or whether my heels are going to break my feet. lol
this must be one of those growing old signs cuz i never worried about my poor feet back then while buying and wearing all those crazy heels.
it has been too damn long since i bought a new pair of shoes, not even a pair of flats.
amazingly, the trendy zone nude flats has served me very very well.
typically at the rate i wear those flats, they used to last 1-2 months.
but that pair has lasted at least 1 year or longer? amazingggggggg...
who says cheap is not always good. hehehe.

alas, after working for 1 yr i still have not gotten myself a pair of zara heels.
i was looking at some lower heels options at aldo but i wasnt convinced to part with that $xxx for 1 or 2 inches heels... if i want to spend $xxx on heels, i must buy 4 inches high!! (ok, at least 3)
but anyway that pair that i liked in zara is already long gone
so well i shall wait for the next season.. im sure zara will not disappoint. :)

ive changed quite a far bit over the past couple of months... probably since 2010..
shopped much less.. and instead those money saved went to my trips.. HK in march, Bintan in may, and Phuket in july... (wow, on hindsight that was every 2 months hahaha)
im trying my best to stop buying clothes because, lo and behold, i simply have not enough wardrobe space for all the clothes i have!!! arggh.. even after i donated 2 big bags of clothes that i no longer wear or like.. somehow, i dont seem to have more space!

in the past 3 months i would say i am quite successful in curbing my online shopping :)
in june i somehow didnt buy a single thing online... not a piece of cloth, nor a pair of shoes..
on 1st of july, i bought a $16 top that i wanted to buy in the last few days of june but pushed to july so that my june record could stay clean :P
since august started, i bought 2 dresses... (hope it stays that way!)
its not always easy because women LOVE retail therapy and impulse buying.
but now i always ask myself "do i really need another of this dress?" cuz i tend to buy very similar stuff.... that explains why i have 3 very similar monochrome bodycon dresses.. -_-

and now i am starting on my exercise regime!!
signed up with true fitness last month and after recovering from my sickness,
finally went body combat with jacq last friday.
boy, i felt like such a klutz!!
hand and leg didnt seem to coordinate... damn paiseh
but it was a good sweat for me.. now my body and upper arms especially are aching...
i think i will go for yoga/pilates the next time round... alternate the type of classes.
need to keep fit because my metabolism is dropping!!!
and i put on weight!!!

23 hours to my birthday :)))
and to seeing my darling.

---Somewhere between our laughs, our long talks, our silly little fights, and all our jokes, I fell in love.

Labels: birthdays, dreams, growing up, if love wasnt so atrocious I would have stayed blind