a moment to remember

~songs in my head~

没有地球太阳还是会绕.

But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you.

I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah

~ MOTTO ~
:: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. ::

~ THOUGHTS ~
By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28)

For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.

"God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21)

"I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Hit Counters

:: juz taking a moment to remember ::

Thursday, December 03, 2009 7:15 PM

is it that hard?

someone said that im very hard to read
does that suggest im appearing to be elusive?
not only that, i was told i seemed uptight and guarded
and worst of all, SERIOUS
i am a serious person? seriously, not that i know of, in my 23 years of existence haha
i find it both disturbing yet curiously intrigued that i've been described as such

i went to google what it means (whether good or bad) to appear to be hard to read
some of the answers i got

1. It means that they can't figure out what you are thinking. You don't make an expression that can confirm or deny a reaction to what they may be saying to you. It's not an insult. It's just frustrating to them because some people need a hint like a angry face or a smirk. I think it's good that people aren't able to tell what you are thinking , it keeps them on their toes. (this is probably true.. although im baffled what made that someone feel that about me)

2. It means you don't show your emotions in an obvious manner. This expression is often used to describe good poker players. (cool, but i dont even know how to play poker. haha and its really contradicting what my ex-boss and even I myself think of me - i wear my emotions on my sleeves. i do, you can tell when i am in a bad mood, as much as i try to just put on a poker face. however, i have also been told by my ex-client no less, that she admires me for being able to stay calm instead of panicky in a crisis. no matter how much she tries to say 'VALERIE!! i want this thing now!' or 'i dont care, you need to...', she says that i still go 'yah... tell me what happened' in a nonchalent way that makes me seem bo-chup that heaven is almost to fall on us. (like the chinese saying 天塌下来，当被盖)

and i thought this comment was absolutely correct.. (i quote)
'I honestly think it's a stupid thing to say to someone because, (1) it's impossible to know what someone is thinking and, (2) everybody is different and everyone has their own ways of expressing feelings and emotions. (And even that can change from time to time!)'

i kind of felt insulted when they seemed to really think i was serious!!
good-ness!
im just really curious whether my friends think im hard to read too
so if you have something to say, pls do!
*lately i have been wondering who are the people who still read my blog.. i only know of a few, like hon, caddie, my sis, shujing.. but then there are more hits than these people.. so if you are reading this, you can just shout out a HI in my tagboard (hopefully you dont remain anonymous lah haha... its more fun to know whos reading)
on a more positive note, maybe it means i am mysterious
cool or cool... im mysterious kay!! -_-
or maybe its just because im female
usually men like to say women are hard to read. haha...
and women who say im hard to read, well usually females who dont know me well dont like me..
so maybe thats why!
i cant help that i was born with a dao face ma!

enough of that.

anyway if i counted correctly
i have been to 10 interviews after leaving IMG (some, a waste of time)
let me just write down for memory's sake
1. eyeka asia (new!)
2. bain & mercer (dont ever go there!)
3. Digi magic (cool but i wasnt ready)
4. TBWA (well, i tried)
5. Crystal time (or something like that)
6. Grey group
7. KFC
8. Olympus (really liked the job but sadly...)
9 & 10. Takemetoasia
11. Turbo

oh there's 11... (or maybe more)
if i add the ones i went to before i graduated (designbridge, IMG, i think there was something else??) wow.. i think i can totally enter the guiness record or something.
'largest number of interviews attended in the period of 2months without success' LOL

so there... impressive record within 2 months.. it either proves that
1. there are many jobs out there
2. i must have been so hard to read that not many of them wants a poker face in their company
3. my salary expectations are too high
4. my experience is not good enough
etc...

oh well.. i think i went to so many interviews that i am (almost) no longer nervous before interviews.. infact i was reading Eat, Love, Pray to kill time before interviews.. maybe its a good skill to train.. but i can tell you i heard myself repeat so many times 'why did i leave IMG', 'why are you interested in this job' until i no longer have to refer to my notes which i prepared earlier to memorise hahah...

God knows how hard i've tried.. but anyway what's mine will be mine..
so im still positive

on a lighter note... i have to admit, chuck is looking cuter with each episode of Gossip girl season 3 but nate, i dont know, something's wrong with his hair, or its just getting boring to see him smooch older women
plus chuck is like darn sweet to blair. they make a perfect couple
still scheming but not hateful. chuck does alot of under-the-table stuff to help others and its really unlike his character in the earlier 2 seasons
but its a refreshing change

meanwhile, i really cant stand georgina. even the name irks me now. lucky i dont know any georgina(s) or else i might really grow to hate her too haha
she is really such a mean bitch on the show, and even when she is 'goody' it just seemed too fake
and i hate her thick thick lips, its like angelina jolie, minus the hot body and the charisma
serena is also getting a bit boring, doing the usual stuff and making the same mistakes, and dating the same guys again & again
but cause i m biased, and thinks she is darn pretty (and hot!) so i can overlook haha

season 3 is more boring... i think somehow every show is the best in its 1st season..
drag on too many seasons is abit like dying a slow death, painful and difficult to watch
season 1 was plenty of sex, gossip and the forbidden - thats what made it so juicy
season 2, too much war-of-tug between chuck & blair but i think georgina's bitchiness helped sustain the drama
so im just watching season 3 for the sake of it, and to ogle at serena's pretty dresses haha...

i also finally finished season 1 of 90210, and likewise not that excited about season 2..
it seems repetitive... i heard about Entourage being the male version of gossip girl
so maybe i can try downloading that to watch (if i have the time :X)

goodbye or see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

Labels: growing up, why must we label everything?