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~songs in my head~
没有地球太阳还是会绕.

But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you.

I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah

~ MOTTO ~
:: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. ::

~ THOUGHTS ~
By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28)

For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.

"God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21)

"I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11)


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:: juz taking a moment to remember ::

Saturday, February 23, 2008 9:47 PM

The shadows follow me, and the night wont set me free.

these days i got to experience what real working life might be like, the work that i am doing, plus witnessing what my colleagues are doing. its pretty stressful, and i am like rushing different things at the same time. this job is pretty challenging, and i quite like that theres opportunities to fly overseas for global work.. tho i still think my dream job is working for a fashion magz, but i will be :) if i get hired back after i grad. haha.

i am really thinking if i should quit my sunday job, its really tiring n i only have sat as my weekend. the word weekend sounds like a terrible, negative word. like end of the week. weekend could also bring relief that its end of the week, but also dread that another week is going to start. besides, quitting would mean i dont have to go back to that area, which brings back memories every sun night when i walk to the mrt, or sometimes take a cab, due to the unbearable tiredness from a whole day of work. it would be good to quit those memories, plus that area reminds me of ecp and the singapore flyer. soon, i will also be going to work (internship) at bugis instead, as my company is shifting. means no more private bus :( but tanjong pagar has too much memories for me.. memories that i ought to leave behind.

i'm trying hard to forget the past and start on a clean slate. day by day the intensity will reduce and one day, i will just recall with a shrug. once i go through all the emotions, there will be no more.

also realised after talking to AL these days, that guys tend to have a shorter memory span, or just get bogged down less by things. even if they loved u alot before, u talk to them 5 years down the road, u'll be surprised at the things you rmb, and can recall, and the things they somehow managed to forget. things like the presents they gave you, songs that you listened to tog, etc. kinda sad when you realise you are the only one cherishing those memories, but i am happy that at least i gt the friendship back after 5 years..its better for us as friends, less complicated, less expectations. and really makes me glad that we are still gd frens after all those that happened when we were just 16-17. mb one day i will feel this way towards whats happening now too. hopefully i will be able to see it in the same light ba. or.. maybe we wld just be strangers for the rest of our lives. wld that feel weird? or maybe it wont matter..

i was thinking, if someone doesnt let you into their house, why should you open your house and let them gain access to you? in fact, why should it matter to know, the kind of life i am living now, whether i am okay or not, my thoughts and feelings, theres no need to know. they should just live their life and i'll have my own.

it seems cruel sometimes, but maybe thats the best way to end things without getting yourself all tangled up. sometimes i wish i could still have access to you, but it really isnt the best thing for me to do, nor the right thing. i am the odd one out now.

anyway i quite like the new auntie helping at the stall. she seems nice and not too blur. i hope that she will be a permanent help so my parents can work less hard.

Signing off,
no more ink.

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