a moment to remember

~songs in my head~

没有地球太阳还是会绕.

But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you.

I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah

~ MOTTO ~
:: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. ::

~ THOUGHTS ~
By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28)

For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.

"God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21)

"I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Hit Counters

:: juz taking a moment to remember ::

Tuesday, February 12, 2008 9:08 AM

maybe its really better this way

this morning i came to work, already feeling very down
because i was plagued, yes plagued by dreams again. woke up at 4plus.
again, i didnt sleep well. never have i hated the fact i dream alot. these days, i do.
even when the dreams are harmless, or irrelevant, i just feel they are disrupting my sleep.
and when i woke up, images

i cant feel happy anymore
an empty soul inside
i can smile, heck, i can even laugh
but i am not happy
happiness slipped out of my fingers a while ago
and hasnt returned
a tired heart
sick of waiting, expecting, and then getting disappointed
nobody asked me to
but i thought i was holding onto something worthwhile
others scolded me, tried to wake me,
they lamented the loss of my old self,
but i defended, thought that i was only speaking up for the righteous,
but now, i think i am fucking dumb to believe
i so want out.
maybe they were all right and i just refused to accept it then.

but as with each time such thing happens, i will only get stronger
hurt till theres no more capacity for hurt
then i will start to heal.

i will remember your cruelness, for not even giving me the closure you promised.
after so long, now i begin to question everything that happened before..
after it ends, everything seems to become questionable, i am doubtful if you actually sincerely meant what you said and did, and the significance seems to diminish, everything we said and done before, just becomes rather worthless and meaningless, and i wonder if they were just child's play, that i was naive to believe that was true love..

was everything just a hoax, that time at imm, and the countless times at sao... i never believed others when they said so, but now i am undecided..

edit: its really time to move on, really time. all the best to you. its time to get my life back. to try to experience what it means to be happy again. i wont forget, but there is no more point. i wont even say if its meant to be, it will be. just goodbye, no more cya.

Signing off,
no more ink.

Labels: growing up, if love wasnt so atrocious I would have stayed blind