a moment to remember

~songs in my head~

没有地球太阳还是会绕.

But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you.

I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah

~ MOTTO ~
:: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. ::

~ THOUGHTS ~
By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28)

For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.

"God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21)

"I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Hit Counters

:: juz taking a moment to remember ::

Sunday, February 17, 2008 2:49 PM

if i could press reset

sometimes the time pass slowly
and seconds tick by
and i feel like its a challenge to even let today pass
and see that tomorrow will come and i'll be fine
but its also at times like that
i tell myself
i am stronger than before
all that could have happened, has happened,
and still i am standing here today.

that day i went to bedok lib, picked up x38765210 books and then in the end borrowed 4
a wave of memories flooded me when i was there
and same too when i walked past burger king and ntuc
and i saw cash converter and rmb the day we queued to cash in my worthless discman, film camera, and chinese cds which he said wasnt worth much money.
and i wondered will there be one day new memories are forged at these places.

i realise why it was so hard for me to let go
it wasnt just cuz it was a long r.s,
but bcuz of my belief that God put us tog
and esp after the feet-washing and prayer tog session at church that one time
i was esp convinced it was so
bcuz it was nth like i have ever experienced
and i couldnt believe that sth so beautiful could happen by coincidence
rather it can only be God's works
hence it was very difficult for me to let go since i firmly believed in that
also explained why i felt angry with God for the past few months, even when i was calling out for his relief
and i remember this one time in jc, when i was buying food at the chinese stall, mrs chew came up to me and asked me why i haven dump him
i just smiled at her and she was always asking abt us after jc.
and we said we disappoint her by being still tog, and we will prove her wrong all the way then i wondered what wld she say if she knew now.
maybe she will feel awkward haha.
and also as the mars & venus book explained,
we think that the thought of feeling better, feeling good, or happy, seems to minimise our genuine feelings of loss, and we think that if we are happy again, it implies we have forgotten a loved one. and we may even feel it would be a betrayal if we were to love again.
and this is exactly how i felt.
plus that if i am happy n moving on, its being cruel, cuz then who will be the one to 'honor', hold onto and rmb the relationship while it is still fresh in our minds.
i felt that if we stopped thking and grieving over it, then we will forget it totally.
i guess now that its not wrong to want to feel happy, and it doesnt mean one cannot grieve while trying to feel better at the same time.

theres a saying
if you know your enemy well
you have already won half the battle.
hence i hope that since i have these new realisations, i will be on my way to a new life
yest was the first time in awhile that i felt happy. it was a gd feeling
although this morning some memories caused me to tear
but i m not going to be afraid to cry or be sad
because only by grieving properly can i find new hope
i cant say i am not sad,
but at least i am more hopeful that i can one day, be happy
and not be so affected.
the book also said
when we can think back and feel our love without pain, the healing process is complete.
i will look forward to thking of memories without pain, but just a happy, wistful smile.

thinking back i realise 2007 wasnt tt bad, at least there were 2 gd incidents
first is my 21st bday. i think it was well spent, and i had alot of fun seeing everyone, taking photos, being the star of the night and finally the wonderful presents
2nd would be the eyebrow embroidery that i went for in dec
costs so much but i must say i have no regrets
cuz i wake up and go to bed with pretty eyebrows everyday!
and finally, u can see my eyebrows in all photos i take :D

hopefully over the nx few mths, i can sing Sheena easton - i'm almost over you
Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you

or sing Daughtry - Over You
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

i thought of changing the url to mintymoments, but its already taken :(
i guess mintyvintage was really v original, haha, nid to think of another original one that only weirdos like me will use.
regarding my hair, my father says i look better with long hair and he cannot wait for me to have long hair, while zul, my friend's supervisor, says he doesnt thk i will look gd w long hair, haha but hes always trying to irritate me. as for me, i just want to grow it long again cuz i miss the feeling. if only love is like hair, after u cut it short, and u miss it being long, just have patience, cuz it can grow back. for sure. unless you itchy hand go and cut lah. but theres no such guarantees in love.

in the short term, i just want to be happy without you.
in the long term, i just wish for us to be happy, without each other.

will upload some photos soon.

Signing off,
out of ink.

Labels: growing up, if love wasnt so atrocious I would have stayed blind