~songs in my head~
没有地球太阳还是会绕.But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you. I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah ~ MOTTO ~ :: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. :: ~ THOUGHTS ~ By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28) For what it's worth, it was worth all the while. "God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21) "I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Hit Counters |
:: juz taking a moment to remember ::
Tuesday, October 27, 2009 5:20 PM
the D word dilemmas directions decisions im in a dilemma over deciding which direction to go last week was a full week of attending the DWG real estate/ultimate power selling course i must say, it was interesting, motivating and i learnt so much that will come in useful when i can finally buy my own house the two days of 'standing in the heat' were very tiring... i felt as if i was in FOC... we played games, we ran 1 km at toa payoh park (amazingly i pushed myself and i dint stop till the end point.. haha, even felt like going for more jogs.. it must be the adrenaline and the feeling of accomplishment after that, since i hardly ever jog) we even had a bazaar whereby my team sold real toto tickets.. the public members were given fake currency in which we must sell our products/services to them in exchange for their currency.. it was a brilliant idea.. what made the toto tickets so hot was the fact that that night the ultimate winning is 3million!! our team ended up earning the title of Best Booth Sales, and won $300 to divide amongst everyone.. most of the people there were much older than me, and it seemed that everyone wanted to get rich, but i also saw and knew not everyone would/could make it... nonetheless i enjoyed the course.. and i gathered knowledge. (i should!! i paid almost 1k for everything...haha) indeed, the conclusion of the course also brings me to the next level i am still confused.. what should i do next? should i look for a job, should i go into real estate full-time? what is my next step? i thought of abandoning looking for another job and just try out being a real estate agent.. but i have my concerns over the lack of stable income (esp cuz i am running out of money now....) as well as feeling intimidated/afraid about how i will fare in this industry additionally even if i manage to close deals, the money only comes in 3-4 months later... what would i eat in the meantime? everyday, i am pondering over these and that i then decided, maybe i should apply for relief teaching plus start to serve buyers (be a 'runner') so that at least i can get some income from the teaching, as well as access how i will fare in a school environment.. then i realised, it is going to be school holidays already so it wont work out for now.. i also thought of applying to teach in January on a contract basis so that i can gather a feel of being a teacher before i decide if i want to go NIE and sign the bond if its good, then i can enrol next july.. although this idea brings me mixed feelings.. so anyway, after consideration, i decided to just continue applying around for jobs (but preferably no more AE / agency jobs cuz they will take up too much time to me to work on PAUSE&PLAY as well as being a runner) maybe i can find a job that can give me some income and i can be a part-time real estate agent till i either realise i want to stay in the marketing/advertising industry or i realise i can make it in real estate... i guess being in a dilemma, and constant worrying will lead me nowhere... only action will help me understand better what i should do, where i should head no doubt the money is very tempting... imagine if i close a few deals, i think i can easily repay off my study and computer loans... every month now they are deducting $200 from me for my fujitsu laptop (which is already not in use now..) so i am constantly thinking how good if i can quickly settle my loans. though the past month of being out of job has brought me much worry about the future, it has also allowed me to think more and consider the future life will be tough without sufficient money holidays need money, raising a kid needs money, marriage, buying house, buying furniture... everything needs money.. the more money you have, the more choices you have isnt that so true? i do envy those people who seem to have it all money, brains, looks, cars, relationships, family... i sometimes wonder, what is lacking in their lives or are they just so blessed, and that God/LIFE is indeed unfair? on another note, i chanced upon a family's journal and i read about the life of a young couple in their 30s with their 2 year old kid saw the photos of their toddler, very cute and cheeky it seems that after marriage (or more specifically after having children) life changes 180 degrees watching movies, going on dates with your husband/wife becomes a privilege no longer the norm i also saw their gatherings with friends, everyone brings along their babies/kids i imagine it would be quite nice actually haha... and it led me to wonder, who will i be meeting when i have my kids? imagine... shuwan, shujing, shuhui, roland, siting, mingkeat, wenxin... all bringing their spouses and kids we will have a blast trying to catch up amist all the crying and noises from the kids wouldnt it be quite scary also, this thought of us all turning into 'aunties' and 'uncles' somehow, i define being an adult as being a parent without going through pregnancy and raising children, i think one will always have a more selfish and individualistic nature but when kids come along, we gotta learn to give our time to them, give them the best, and put ourselves as secondary in our own lives at least till they grow old enough to take care of themselves the sad thing about raising kids i think is the point when their wings grow hard and they fly off (literal translation)... not necessarily in a bad way.. but more so in the sense that they grow up, and its natural they want freedom, their own friends, and form their own relationships etc i am trying to look at myself, say 5 years down the road how would i be like? at 18 years old, i couldnt for the life of me, imagine this is how i would be at 23 infact 5 years just blinked past, and i hardly feel like i changed much... maybe similarly when i reached 28, i will feel the same still... but who knows how i will be like then? hopefully married, and living comfortably with a good salary... and a car... sometimes i feel as if, i am on the blink of edge between an adult and someone who is still hiding in the shadows of the past i should embrace the future isnt it? but i guess, uncertainty is not in my blood goodbye or see you, I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake. Labels: growing up 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves <$BlogItemCommentCount$> Comments:<$BlogCommentBody$> By <$BlogCommentAuthor$>, at <$BlogCommentDateTime$> <$BlogCommentDeleteIcon$> |
on repeat mode
mine
abandoned blog Iabandoned blog II the past
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
May 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
credits/links
fashion readImage forgettheflowersblog forgettheflowers |
||