a moment to remember

~songs in my head~

没有地球太阳还是会绕.

But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you.

I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah

~ MOTTO ~
:: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. ::

~ THOUGHTS ~
By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28)

For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.

"God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21)

"I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

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:: juz taking a moment to remember ::

Thursday, January 22, 2009 4:28 PM

are women naturally monogamous?

so this morning, 4 of us - me, roland, shujing & shuwan, woke up for breakfast gathering. they all had classes/lab to go to, but i woke just for them and i was the 1st to reach canteen and so i ordered 4 sets of breakfast. like their mummy like that, then it was so funny a sight cuz i was sitting there with 4 plates of 2 eggs each, 8 pieces of bread, 4 different drinks (milo, kopi-o, teh-o, teh-o-bing) and 3 empty seats. the people ard me must be wondering one of the following:
1) this girl is so sad, her friends din turn up
2) this girl is delusional, thinks she has friends
3) this girl is spooky, who is she buying these for? offerings? (touch wood)
haha.. but yeah it was quite weird until sj and sw came.. that roland stil must give him morning call... alamak. so yeah it was really quite a nice time, despite me waking at 820 to just eat breakfast okay, i think today is like the earliest day that i woke up in hall since forever. maybe we can make this like a weekly thingy or sth, since its the last sem that we get to come tog for this old routine of us..

still remember how we practically did this everyday when we were year2, we will wake up damn early like 745 sometimes, cuz we had 830 class, or 9plus during holidays, and then go to can 16 to eat their bf set. this time round theres only 4 of us, but back then long long ago, we also had siting, mingkeat and sometimes chinchin.. the csbs club.. and then of course it morped into the Bachelors' club, and we had michael and chee wee sometimes, and then their gfs... and then slowly dont know when or why, that routine died... but well it was really fun while it lasted.. jokes early in the morning, big hearty breakfasts with friends, its a good way to start each day.. when i go to people's wedding dinners, i noticed that people always invite most of their uni friends.. maybe cuz stay in hall tog, then were v close.. and also cuz its the last 'school' for most people.. i mean, if i nv stayed in hall, i would prob nv eat breakfast with my friends lo.. it is in hall that we see each other's most ugly, unglam and freshly woken sights, and get to hang out so much.. i walked past the 60 benches after that, and i saw all the bday celebrations and steamboat affairs we once had, but now its just the benches for us. we are retiring, and others are taking over us.

i think that we are all graduating from the school of school-life. back when we were just in secondary sch, we still had jc/poly to choose from, not knowing when or how we will land in uni, and then time flies and we are already soon to be NTU alumni. for me i cant wait to wear that stupid convocation hat take a million pics n throw the hat up! hahaa.. theres no more next step in our school life, we ought to receive a certificate that says 'XXX graduated from SCHOOL of SCHOOL LIFE of 20+ years' man... we have studied all our life, just for this piece of paper. if in our careers we climb the corporate ladder, in school, we are climbing the paper ladder. and now i feel like i have come to the end of one phase of my life, having had primary sch, secondary sch, then jc, and now uni/hall friends... all i need to start up my next phase of life (which i think comprises of work, marriage, kids, money) is a job and colleagues hahaa... and then probably another 30 years from now, it will be the 3rd and last phase of my life, retirement and waiting for it to end peacefully and meaningful.

i am so morbid i know. life sounds like a 'system' when i break it down like that. do i believe in reincarnation? i guess not, but if there is such a thing i hope i will be reincarnated as human again and not animal or insect.. and i hope i wont have any memories of this life. haha. like need to drink some mong po cha right.

okay so anyway today i have the inspiration to discuss whether women are naturally monogamous. after reading an article yest that mentioned that men are naturally not monogamous cuz they want to like spread their seeds, so called... and also cuz the fittest survive so they want to have many of their own so that they can pass on their best genes. some evolutionary theory la.

my own view is that, both men and women are not naturally monogamous. but i believe that even though society has more or less 'trained' or drilled in us to be monogamous, instinctly i think we are not totally mongamous, thats why theres such a thing called serial monogamy which is, acc to wikipedia, characterized by a series of long- or short-term, exclusive sexual relationships entered into consecutively over the lifespan (of one)... it kinda means that if you enter into another exclusive r/s with someone else after u and ur prev partner broke up or he passed away etc, then its serial monogamy, like a series lah. which i kinda thot contradicts the whole idea of mongamy right haha.. if the idea of monogamy is to have only 1 partner (be it for love/sex whatever), but yet u can have serial monogamy and that isnt wrong..

although i understand that monogamy refers to having 1 partner at just any 1 time but i just find it ironic.. cuz at any 1 time can refer to one's lifespan hahah... what i am trying to prove is that if humans are truly indeed meant to be monogamous (assuming that means they 'should' only love or have sex with one during their lifespan) then there wont be such a thing as serial monogamy. the truth is people love and lost, and they love again. people find new sex partners to satisfy themselves if their prev partners left or are dead. so in a way, the so-called love is selfish and theres no true monogamy in this world (in my view of the word monogamy, of course. which is controversial)

but i also believe that it is 'easier' for women to stick to monogamy than men. why? becuz women, i think most, would find it hard to separate sex and love. so its harder for women to have more than 1 partner at 1 time cuz tho they might have a bad sex life, they their husbands and they will feel guilty if they were to have sex outside of marriage. becuz to women, sex and love are in the same equation. however, men can have sex without love, just for pleasure and they can still go back home make love to their wives and its all the same to them. in addition, traditionally, women have always depended on men to bring home the dough, for security, marriage etc.. so women wld be contented to settle for one good, stable, reliable man. whereas for men, becuz they are so-called the 'choosers', they get to choose the women who will throw themselves upon them cuz they need all the above mentioned, and as such when u have so many choices, its sometimes just too tempting isnt it? of course nowadays times have changed and women are financially stable and all, but i thk emotionally women still seems to need men (why do you think theres the butch figure is a lesbian r/s?) and also for their strength, give them status, etc.. but who knows, i think there are more and more women (not judging here) who are leading sexually liberal lives, and having sex without love in the equation. at least thats what i read and heard. so maybe one day there will be a (good, stable housewife type of) woman drought, and it will be the women choosing the men. HAHA.

and here's an interesting article related to monogamy and polygyny.. taken from http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20070622-000002.xml which has alot of other interesting whys like

"Why most suicide bombers are Muslim, beautiful people have more daughters, humans are naturally polygamous, sexual harassment isn't sexist, and blonds are more attractive.:

Most women benefit from polygyny, while most men benefit from monogamy

When there is resource inequality among men—the case in every human society—most women benefit from polygyny: women can share a wealthy man. Under monogamy, they are stuck with marrying a poorer man.

The only exceptions are extremely desirable women. Under monogamy, they can monopolize the wealthiest men; under polygyny, they must share the men with other, less desirable women. However, the situation is exactly opposite for men. Monogamy guarantees that every man can find a wife. True, less desirable men can marry only less desirable women, but that's much better than not marrying anyone at all.

Men in monogamous societies imagine they would be better off under polygyny. What they don't realize is that, for most men who are not extremely desirable, polygyny means no wife at all, or, if they are lucky, a wife who is much less desirable than one they could get under monogamy.

comments or thoughts are welcome!

goodbye or see you,
I'll be your best kept secret or your biggest mistake.

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