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~songs in my head~
没有地球太阳还是会绕.

But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you.

I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah

~ MOTTO ~
:: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. ::

~ THOUGHTS ~
By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28)

For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.

"God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21)

"I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11)


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:: juz taking a moment to remember ::

Friday, July 27, 2007 3:26 AM

u never know what lies ahead but be prepared

as times pass, i dont know what or how to feel also.
whether its happiness or just numbness, or just kinda like ignoring/escaping the problems we have.

i do have had alot of fun with my friends recently, going to holland v for dinner, settlers cafe and JB today.. and that makes me wonder, is it really true? maybe there is really nothing wrong with us spending less time together and more time with our friends. to a certain extent of course that will make me wonder "then in what way am i different from just a friend?"
but i guess many things i do not have any answers.
i also do not hope the future will bring any answers, or should i say dont dare to hope.
whatever each day brings, if its happy day, then i gladly accept it, and make myself believe that it just needs some time, and i just need time to adjust to this new kind of mindset/change.
with each unhappy day, i tell myself i cant give up, but mostly because i cannot bear to. with all the memories and the understanding of my character (something that is not easy to develop with another person), i just find it hard to really really let go and make any decision, like one of my seniors S in hall.

in a way, i think i realise that love is something not to be taken for granted.
its not easy to find someone that you can like (not just for 3 minutes), and of course even harder that the person likes you back, and more more difficult for 2 people that like each other to stay together for some time.

but yet, i am also feeling jaded and cynical about the nature of relationships.
because i now think that all relationships are very fake, hmm no, the word should be unstable/short-lived. at first the honeymoon period, whereby you will treat each other very well, is really sweet. but after a while, quarrels start, and shouting may begin. and u will both reveal your true colors. and human nature is really ugly, i feel.
once the shouting starts, it will continue ba. especially during heated arguments whereby each other just cannot compromise, especially on beliefs and mindsets. its like the chinese saying 'you yi chi, jiu hui you di er chi'.
sad but true.

so i think, i have lost that kind of faith in love.
now when i look at any guy, when i think 'hey, he has this good point', immediately i also think 'yah, but sooner or later, ugly stuff that i cant stand will show up'...
so its best to remain friends with everyone...
maybe right from secondary school, i should have realise this.

next week is foc le..
i just want to have some fun, and really concentrate on the camp.
done as much as i can...
taking over everyone's role when they are not free/quit..
school is also reopening..
but since i just cut short my hair, maybe my burdens will lift..
we shall see..

cheers to friendship...
i m looking forward to my bday, as i can see many of my friends...

P.S: at least the previous post, in the end, it was kind of positive ending so far.. hope it will continue to be so..
and thank you to those who smsed me or tagged me just to tell me that u will be my listening ear, and that things will cheer up. thanks, i really am touched :)

Signing off,
no more ink.

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