~songs in my head~
没有地球太阳还是会绕.But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you. I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah ~ MOTTO ~ :: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. :: ~ THOUGHTS ~ By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28) For what it's worth, it was worth all the while. "God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21) "I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Hit Counters |
:: juz taking a moment to remember ::
Wednesday, August 23, 2006 9:56 PM
in the same situation everyday. today at forensic sci lecture, i was sitting beside cheewee.. he made a v cold joke. and it was, acc to him, pre-planned. i dn really believe but anway in the lecture notes der was this guy who had tis ring of leaves ard his head. so cw asked me why like tat? and i replied how wld i know? den i was like super freezed when he said cuz he's 'zhi wu ren'.. ow.. leng si wo..but it was quite funny lah haha.. 2ndly, for some reason, he is v 'interested' in my roomie..and keep asking me abt her..and even said she got alot of character, he love her.. and want to 'er-hem' with her.. and made some gross noise lah.. haha bth.. and then he asked me a qns i tot was a gd qns.. he asked me if i was putting on a mask at tt moment.. in the sense like mayb i m troubled but i m just pretending to be happy.. den i realized i actually dunno when i m really happy and when (if ever) i am wearing a mask..but i believe the mask-wearing is not intentional, not like i consciously tell myself i am putting on a mask.. i was thking maybe i have been putting on a mask (subconciously) so often that i dunno when and whether i am anot.. so i cldnt ans his qns.. strange.. maybe i just dun wan others to worry abt me so my smiles n laughter come out, even tho when i m alone i dn feel like smilin.. but yet when i laugh when i m w friends, its nt as if i pretend to laugh either. i really feel i m laughing for real.. yet just nw on my way back hall, i suddenly find myself feeling down.. and its me once again alone in the room cuz wx has no class tml again.. some pple have commented that i am someone who rather be troubled alone den trouble my friends..i dunno hw true that is. but just nw while waiting for the mrt, i was thking i seemed to have changed alot.. last time i was nv the type to keep tings to myself.. and i always tell my frens not to.. n thk they are v silly to do so..nowadays i find myself behaving like tt.. n i can understand why there are ppl who are like tt.. cuz they sometimes feel tt telling others wnt solve anyting also.. in fact, sometimes after u tell someone hw u feel, he or she may haf no reaction, and its obvious tt they cant do anyting to help u, and tt realization makes u feel worse.. cuz say already also no help, so why bother saying.. hence that is how i feel.. and thus i just rather not be asked why i m unhappy.. altho i noe keeping tings to oneself isnt the most ideal solution, but den some tings just cannot be solved even if i tell.. so why make everyone else unhappy too? anyway i went to visit my fren and her baby.. and she named her baby after the name i suggested! hehe.. so now the baby's name is given by me, and shares the same bday as me. hehe.. the name i suggested was seraphina.. which means angel..and a fiery one.. so seraphina is vv small.. like 3 kg.. i only carried her once.. and v awkwardly also.. cuz i din noe how to cuddle her.. shd i say i was scared i will hurt her or make her cry haha.. my fren was like aiya carry her close to u lah.. but seraphina has vvv long limbs lor..i thk she will grow taller den my fren v soon..haha..and i also found out tt she din marry the guy whom i tot was a bastard.. lucky!! i m so much happier noeing tt shes with a better guy..the guy gt a family man face.. haha..their wedding photos v nice..hmm, but somehow i am not fantasizing abt me getting married.. as in i do want to be v pretty a bride someday.. but when i saw how she gotta hoax and watch over the baby every minute.. i feel like its abit burden esp now.. at tis young age.. so much freedom is gone.. and even as we tok abt our past, i feel abit different.. like now she is a mother, tho she is still pretty much the her i remember, but its strange.. cuz she nw has to be responsible to her husband, baby, and mother-in-law etc.. so at the hse, i also din dare to talk to her abt them.. and its kinda strange when she told me abt her ex-bfs b4 tis husband.. when he is just next door..aha.. hmm i m happy seeing her.. hope tt she will be happy from now on.. its impossible to imagine altho she told me labour was vvvv pain.. i cant imagine hw she pushed her baby out la..haha. but at least nw i noe u wont die fr labour.. cuz she was v normal just nw.. except abit chubby and has a tummy haha.. but stil quite skinny.. just now tot of the idea of moving out of hall to go back home to stay.. den i was thking maybe i can try going home everyday for one week. haha see if its feasible.. den can move out next sem. also can save $$ i thk? or is travelling more ex? hmm.. like wx said, its hard to study in hall..somemore gt activities.. maybe the time we save in travelling to and fro isnt alot also.. maybe at home is better..at least wont feel so alone sometimes.. sometimes when u are living amidst so many ppl n frens, u still feel lonely.. but at home, u may b alone but u feel more comfortable and secure.. strange.. my laptop is heating up again.. so i shall end here..haiz yest still had 'nightmares' despite my prev entry! hope tonite no more.. anyway if u do watch singapore idol..pls let me noe.. nid ur help!! thanks! Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves <$BlogItemCommentCount$> Comments:<$BlogCommentBody$> By <$BlogCommentAuthor$>, at <$BlogCommentDateTime$> <$BlogCommentDeleteIcon$> |
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