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~songs in my head~
没有地球太阳还是会绕.

But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you.

I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah

~ MOTTO ~
:: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. ::

~ THOUGHTS ~
By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28)

For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.

"God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21)

"I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11)


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:: juz taking a moment to remember ::

Thursday, August 17, 2006 11:29 AM

if things happen for a reason, can i know why?

I have been feeling lost for the past few days. And I am not too sure why.
Not sure about what. Not sure if I am feeling troubled. Or if it's just mood swings.
When I keep quiet, I dont even notice.
For example, while bathing beside wenxin yesterday, I think I sorta forgot she was just next door. I just bath and then out of the blue, she spoke and asked me "Siew Hoon, you ok? why so quiet? what are you thinking about?"
And I was like "huh, yah hor, was I thinking about anything? Or just stoning or reflecting?"
Maybe its just the night.
Night-time me is always quieter than the day-time me.
But the just awoke me is also a quiet personality.
Usually dont like to talk alot in the mornings about 1-2 hours after waking.
Keeping to myself during these times seem to make me feel like I have time for myself.
Just me and my thoughts.
Whatever I want to think about.
Not having to filter or censor my words,
not being afraid of saying the wrong things.
Everything, whether correct or wrong, or even strange things can appear in my mind.
Without anyone else interferring.

I am trying hard in class.
Trying not to stone.
Stoning and staring into space is more of a problem for me than falling asleep.
I feel like I have alot of work to do.
But somehow I am not sure where to start.
And I think I dont have enough time.
Like yesterday,
I had to force myself to stay up so I can copy forensic sci notes.
Because the whole night was spent at hall's open house mingling around.
It seemed fun and I felt so light-hearted and happy that time
But once I got back to my room,
It seemed as if everything was just a coverup, a mask.
As usual.
Just like Cinderella transforming back to plain girl when the clock struck 12.
Longing and loneliness hits.
Like an empty space that people around me can never fill.
And today when I got the time and space to myself,
I feel like I dont know what I have to complete.
Its like a cycle.
Repeating to torture me.

Its been so long since I feel like I have been truly smiling and laughing out of joy, the kinda of laughter that will make me laugh until my sides hurt. I seem to be always posting some depressing entries. That I dont even feel like rereading. So if nobody is reading this, I wont be surprised. Anyway, this is just a channel for me to ratter on and on.

I myself hope I can feel happiness from the bottom of my heart again. So cliched I know. But really, my greatest personal wish is to be happy, or at least keep trying to be.

Signing off,
no more ink.

0 wore their hearts on their sleeves

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on repeat mode

Leona Lewis Lyrics

mine
abandoned blog I
abandoned blog II

the past
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