~songs in my head~
没有地球太阳还是会绕.But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you. I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah ~ MOTTO ~ :: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. :: ~ THOUGHTS ~ By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28) For what it's worth, it was worth all the while. "God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21) "I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Hit Counters |
:: juz taking a moment to remember ::
Wednesday, June 14, 2006 11:37 AM
time crawls. time is moving in blocks of only 15 mins. i looked at the clock 3 times le. it showed 11.15, den 11.30, den now 11.42am.. wah.. its really very slow. sigh.. i really pity my poor eyes. looking at the computer whole day. i feel its suffering. i wish to close them and look at something pleasant rather than those engineering resumes.. er xin da bian! have no idea whats interesting abt engineering. its impt la, but then i cant understand whats it all abt. some girls even make alot of $$ aft they get their engineering degrees. quite impressed. esp some of them single, i wondering wah if i earn $4-5k a month and i m not married, will i spend all the $$ fast fast, lead a rich lady's life (buy LVs and Prada handbags instead of those walletshop or dunno what budget no brand type lah..) or will i be wiser to save up? i mean, its nicer to see alot of zeros inside ur bank account rather than see alot of bags and tangible things that u bought (cuz aft buying, altho u own them, u feel like u gt no $$.. even tho the $$ has become objects that are tangible.. but strangely, u feel like u are v poor.. and wonder where ur $$ went to.. thats hw i often feel.. haiz.) tonight got spain's match. i m going to watch! yeah.. but skully torres nv play. wah den i will b abit sian.. hmm nvm, will watch future matches too. but feel very tired. this week so busy. everyday after work got sth on. tml meeting csbs for dinner.. hmm.. friday camp le..wah really my 10pm bedtime dream is dashed.. ever since i moved back hall, i thk i nv slpt early.. except the day b4 my driving test. i got into bed at 9plus.. toss & turn till 10plus.. so sad.. i wan a good long deep sleep.. like 9 pm to 11 am that kind. wake up not sleepy that kind. lai chuang whole day. haha.. hopefully next week can.. but i doubt so.. got canvassing to do.. maybe sunday after camp i will rush home to eat,and zzZzz.. haha.. abit scared the camp will be sian. cuz have to play those games again. programmers camp i alr see b4.. haha.. hmm i saw some people v young get married le.. like 24 or 26.. u may say "not v young for girls wat.." but then i think its only 2 years after i graduate from uni.. den straight away get married.. feel like i wasted my time studying.. not that i mean after get married, i will bcome hsewife la. but there might be possibility of accidental pregnancies rather than 2 of u tian-mi-mi.. and the problem of dealing with in-laws.. and for me, i feel like marriage.. it shd be done only when ready ba.. not cuz of age, getting old so must marry. cuz to a certain extent, personal freedom, and privacy will be lost. lets say u quarrel w ur boy or girl fren now, u can go back to ur own house, cry, shout, luff, or whatever u want. u can avoid, can run away, dont answer phonecall, etc. but all these are not possible after marriage. cuz u return to the same house. even u designate diff rooms to go to after a quarrel, u still have to face each other 24/7. he or she bcomes ur only family. (immediate) u cant go home to ur bro, sister, mama, papa le. u go home to face the person whom u quarrelled with in the morning b4 u all went to work. (okay, its nt so pessimistic la. but just raising an eg.) dunno lei.. i just feel scared i cant be 'alone' after marriage.. i like to be alone sometimes.. haha.. without my own space n privacy, having to face someone everyday might be difficult.. but mayb a few yrs later when i dn feel tis way anymore, and feel ready to give that up, or sort of make compromise, or mutual trust, then i will noe its time to get married.. haha.. i guess, this kind of thing, its between 2 ppl la. if u feel like u can accept having to live with that someone and is prepared to work out anything, well thats called committment.. that day quite long ago, i finally tot of a motto for myself. discipline & committment. sacrifice is impt too, but that is a sub-area under committment. cuz when u are committed to something/someone, u will naturally make sacrifices. yah so, discipline and committment, i feel that its the 2 things that i am most lacking in.. as in i find it most difficult to be disciplined and committed. its getting better la.. considering i commit myself to a relationship for 2 years + le. haha. but sometimes fatigue can take over, esp when problems arise, then i sometimes think back abt single life and then i must keep telling myself.. "committment is v impt.. cuz if u cant stay committed, even let u change 100 bfs, the same result will occur when problems occur.. so its nt a issue of who, but how u deal with the relationship..". as for discipline, its probably more towards studies ba. like sometimes i procrastinate too much, things that i want to try for, or maybe things done halfway.. shd discipline myself.. yupz.. so not bad hor, my motto.. haha.. but recently i find myself less able to open up to others as b4.. esp those who were close to me b4.. or maybe not less able, but less willing?? keeping to myself things that i feel maybe a) too mafan or difficult to tell/explain, b) share for wat? will u care or be interested? (shrugs) c) hahah! dont wan to tell u.. (similar to option b but this is on purpose type of not sharing.. 'de yi'?? haha) d) feel weird/awkward sharing.. hmm.. yah lor.. thats me currently.. eee.. so er xin.. that raymond just msg me again.. say "hey hello how are u doing?" i dont even want to waste my sms to reply say "bye i do not know u, and i m not ur gd fren, pls dn sms me!" haha.. send so many le.. yest stil send a duno what 'bang-ga-li" rhyming poem sms.. duh.. waste my time to read even.. haiz.. wher got so thick skinned person one? obviously i haven replied any of his msgs.. still cannot get the hint isit.. but nvm, i just continue to hint (without replying) cuz i dn wan to waste my sms. hahah.. eeeee... hungry.. go lunch le.. hope 5pm quickly comes.. go home nap awhile first b4 the match.. Signing off, no more ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves <$BlogItemCommentCount$> Comments:<$BlogCommentBody$> By <$BlogCommentAuthor$>, at <$BlogCommentDateTime$> <$BlogCommentDeleteIcon$> |
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