Wednesday, July 21, 2004 6:16 PM

I have found the best way to love; thats to love thru my heart, and not thru my memories.
 
i am bac again! seeing ther are prob visitors hu are disappointed.. haha..
hmm, lets see.. why am i here? cuz i didnt go to sea carnival.. yeah.. my classmates all got tk part, den those who nv tk part nv go, so i + him pon it togt lor, hope mrs sukhvinder wont pursue the matter.. muhaa.. went to parkway w him (TM and CS too risky!); but turned out there were other tpjcians der too, presumbly to also avoid gg sea carnival.. haha.. ate the tom yam soup at parkway's foodcourt, its yummy!! tho it bit too spicy til i coughed a few times, choking on the chili.. lol.. but its really nice, cheryl will love it! haha.. den he bought papaya milkshake for me.. er... drank so much of it i thk i will not be constipated anymore.. muhaha, but it was nice.. den we went to buy choco, and den took 15 bac, walked slowly bac so i dint wan to let him leave.. haiz.. my bag v heavy so he helped me carry and we had a race down the overhead bridge, n tis time i won! (acty i cheated la haha)... hee~ he's the best! :))))) as good as b4.. oh ya, the best of jpop 2004 cd he lent me hor, i dun like it at all. the mtvs were all so boring, with unknown singers + songs.. haha.. i only like the BOA 'shine we are'.. the rest kinda put me off.. altho got V6 my fav, but the song also nt as nice as the past..
 
hmm.. so i wasted another 2 hrs online.. as usual.. when am i gg to start studying? tt day i was so stressed, as i study human geog, tears just wet the pages of the module.. my lousy mood (due to hormones raging during tt time of the month) didnt help much.. haha.. anyway, tml is jia'en's bdae!! HAPPY BDAE if u are seeing tis! hee~ well, i bought her the olive oil fr Body shop wic she pestered me since a few mths ago to get it for her bdae.. haha.. finally, u shd b happy! duno why she just insist i b the one to buy her that. aiya like tt nv offer me room for creativity n buy her 'surprise' presents.. yeah, next bdae to come is shuenyun's.. then v near hers is mine!! yeah.. v happy. i m gg to b 18th, zhang da le.. can watch M18 movies + anyone wans me to treat a TIGER beer (lolz)?? hmm.. but nearer to my bdae also mean nearer to prelims.. :( but anw nth can stop me fr looking 4ward to tt day.. my 18 yrs of existence...
 
anw, yest 20th july.. it was kinda a 'significant' date, 2 yrs ago tis date i was tog with andy.. (dun nid to hide identity le la), then 1 yr ago i was so sad dun wanna tis date to come/go.. but now, tis yr on yest, i was a changed person cuz someone else has touched my soul.. and tts why my quote above says i learned to love thru my heart n not my memories, meaning i put my beloved now in my heart, while i put andy in my memories. it amazes me tt i haf realli let go of the past, unbelievable to me really.. i will nv forget the past yr the changes tt went thru my heart.. 20th july is no longer a date tt i dread. but it also reminds me of the happy times b4 la.. of our frenship.. i just realised we haven realli been frens since we broken up.. so i hope maybe next yr 20th july, there will b another change; tt is we will 'regain' our frenship n nt forever let the unhappy memories of the r/s haunt our frenship... what can i say? i ve changed.. i really realised how much a person can change over a period of time, he was rite when he said 6 mths was a long period of time and many tings have changed.. but anw, i dunt thk i will choose to go bac to d past even if i got a time machine... cuz i m happy with silly now.. and cant be happier with wat i haf..
 
wow long entry hor.. k la, everyone jiayou with studies.. esp those tking A lvls, it will b soon over! dont b too stressed out.. dun too slack either... last but nt least, a thought to ponder abt: do u think life is short? average 60-70 years may seem dreadful and long, but if u realli thk abt it, most of these yrs pass by in a blink of the eye w.o u remembering or hafing any memories of them.. eg, hw much of ur pri sch/kindergarden days can u rmb?? hence.. thk abt it, treasure whatever u haf today n dun b 2 bothered by wats happened in d past, whats gg to happen in d future.. just treasure n b happy for today, dont leave sentences dangling, dont leave actions till tml, dont be sad the whole day and mop about feeling life suz because u nv noe when there's no tomorrow, and u nv get to tell ur loved ones I LOVE YOU!!! (exactly hw i feel recently..)
ta-ta! 

Listening to: lifehouse-hanging by the moment (chorus)

I'm falling even more in love with you

letting go of all I've held onto

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Signing out, pen is running out of ink.