~songs in my head~
没有地球太阳还是会绕.But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you. I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah ~ MOTTO ~ :: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. :: ~ THOUGHTS ~ By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28) For what it's worth, it was worth all the while. "God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21) "I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Hit Counters |
:: juz taking a moment to remember ::
Tuesday, April 20, 2004 6:12 PM
beautiful moments are rarely captured. this may b bcuz they happened too quickly, too suddenly, or they r just too beautiful, and seeing it once will b enough. if u are able to capture them, then to a certain extent, they will lose their value right? hmm, what can i say? i'm a happy girl. satisfied maybe. still waiting for tings to get better... can they get any better? stressed but no one noes. most see the sweet n beautiful side of my new found happiness but many do not understand with it, comes responsibility, committment, guilt (choosing b/w him and my frens), time management, stress, emotional struggles, etc... everyday, i feel as if ther's no life... except studying and doing tutorials, attending lessons, reading up on notes, re-reading them, re-re-rereading... what the heck... haiz i really feel ridiculous tt life now is reduced to the following schedule everyday: 7am-5pm => SCHOOL, with over-abundant free periods in b/w but productivity is low due to the stupid hot weather... 6pm => once i get home, i honestly hope to b able to watch tv, go online, just read a book, or slack. but honestly, these are really nt possible. possible last yr, but if i want to get gd A grades, i cannot go at this rate... to get the grades i want, i figure my schedule everyday at home will be a continuation of SCHOOL (but the difference is tt its at home lor), doing of tutorials for a few hrs, reading lecture notes, re-reading what i dun understand, and basically all these sums up = STUDY. see what i mean? besides the <8 hours i slp everyday, every waking moment requires me to be tied down with some notes/book. every single free time must b devoted to studies if i want to 'aim and achieve' and excel. my life now in jc is simply ridiculous... but tho i say tis, pls dun b mistaken i have nv till now, a single regret abt appealing back to jc insteading of gg poly..i guess for most jc students, our lives are such.. at least for tis yr.. thank God jc is only 2 yrs. honestly, i m afraid. but i nv tell anyone... more afraid to show my fear out becuz i will then confirm to myself i m afraid.. sth lyk tt.. and if i cfm i m afraid, it means i am saying out loud to myself 'hey! u r gg to fail at tis rate!!'... mayb its kinda escaping fr reality ba... but den i figured i dun like to admit to myself or anyone else i am deep down really vulnerable.. today, mr reynolds's repeated reminder to reread 'the monk' is alr breathing dw my neck now... feeling panicky cuz most of my classmates said they have read almost halfway... (tho i duno if they lied in order not to get scolded or if tts the truth)... i m quite tired of tis life... everyting must b repeated... re, re, re-read, re-do, re-understand, re-memorise... and the worst ting is i duno whr to start... ther's angela carter, silas marner, the monk, edgar allan poe, a & c, rossetti... what the hell are we studying SO MANY books for one subject!! and for geog, i kinda feel the teacher is spoonfeeding us too much, up to tis point i frankly say i thk i m nt learning much, everyday just copy... i duno how to get A sia... then we will b getting a new module for geog... d thickness is twice tt of a normal econs module... i thk its at least 300pgs... no kidding... hai~ what a load of notes.... i wanna recycle all these paper aft my As... surely contribute alot to environment... haha! in d past, i used to haf time to read books for leisure. yest i borrowed a nice storybk fr sch lib. today i told myself i must surely return tis book bac w/o reading it. simply bcuz I CANT AFFORD to read for leisure when ther are tons of other books i nid to read or re-read for LITERATURE!!! arggghhh~ so u see, how pathetic is tis life? tho i grumble so much, but acty i stil haf a happy life now... everyday, i just thk of him... sort of a motivation ba... and even aft a long day, i noe i will temporaily forget abt all my probs when i meet him.. tt kinda of feeling is v nice.. like today, i cant wait for sch to end... cuz i noe once i see him, i will smile and all the day's toil will seem worth the wait... hee~ but honestly, i realize tt as time draw closer and closer to my exams, i mite face some problems ba... as in, even now, both of us everyday v busy w tutorials.. so i really treasure each and every morning n afternoon when we meet... bcuz we can hardly fork out other times to b with each other... haiz... so tts y i thk in d next coming months, tis situation will b worse off... but den "I will cross that bridge when I come to it" is my approach... zhong er yan zi, i will just try to maintain everyting at hand to my best... as the lyrics to a song goes.... "I'm not the kinda girl Who gives up just like that *Oh no*" acty one reason why i stop blogging is cuz its nt plausible for me to come online everyday... too much work to b done... but today entry is kinda unexpected, even for me.. haha~ Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves <$BlogItemCommentCount$> Comments:<$BlogCommentBody$> By <$BlogCommentAuthor$>, at <$BlogCommentDateTime$> <$BlogCommentDeleteIcon$> |
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