~songs in my head~
没有地球太阳还是会绕.But I don’t care what they say. I’m in love with you. I just wanna fall and lose myself Laughing so hard it hurts like hell Forget about everything and run away, yeah ~ MOTTO ~ :: if you have tried your best, there's no need for regrets. :: ~ THOUGHTS ~ By ourselves we are too weak to hold our own even for a moment. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28) For what it's worth, it was worth all the while. "God has given, God has taken, blessed be the name of God" (Job 1:21) "I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Hit Counters |
:: juz taking a moment to remember ::
Wednesday, March 17, 2004 6:55 PM
Regrets are beautiful tragedies. A memory of things to come that never were nor will ever be... aww... i got a feeling i mite fall sick... when's my guardian angel to come take care of me? my throat feels itchy, my eyes feel heavy, i cannot concentrate. i am stressed out. haiz~ yest tears fell... i just had to stop doing everyting and go to bed, feeling very low indeed. my mother, firstly, is behaving strangely these days ever since i dropped CL. dunno y, but she is esp sensitive towards me using the fone. when i was toking to wx, she kept nagging softly how i shd not talk on the phone and i am wasting my time not studying. but its really true; i recently haf been toking to wx less le... i dun even haf a bf le so i dun tok so much on the fone also. so i wonder whats her sudden extra pressure on my studies. she has nv been one to add stress to me, on the other hand, always scolding me for stressing myself out. so tis time, i really duno whats wrong with her. den my sis also sort of hinted i seem to be dropping every subject i have! i thk the both of them dunch understand tht in the JC system, we are supposed to do well enuff to drop CL at the first attempt, everyone is praying to drop it, and they made it sound as if my dropping was a crime, no one does it except me. but the fact is tt in the jc syst, we are encouraged to drop CL at the v first chance we haf. they made me feel as if i got a C6 and want to drop it. but the fact is tt i got an ok grade mah... haiz... thinking of how they din understand, my tears just dropped... i thk i am someone tt will crumble under pressure given by others. cuz i am always already stressing myself, if my family add more stress to me, den i will cannot take it lor. haiz... hope tis will end soon, i noe they r worried abt me tt i may not be able to find a proper job in d future (due to my dropping of AO maths & CL) but den i really dun believe i cannot survive in tis world w/o maths. yup, true, mayb i mite face a hard time, but even if i had continued tking maths, i wldnt choose a maths-related field in the future. i have not even finish my jc, not even in uni, n they r thking abt my job already. very stereotyped... all the more i pray i will do well enuff to go into NTU communications. then i can be a writer, reporter, anchorwoman, editor, or whatsoever, and prove finally tt all their worries are redundant. of cuz i am worried myself, my lang isnt superb either... i also noe they r concerned abt me, but i thk i m gg to conked out by all these stress sooner or later. haixxx sometimes, i feel so much alone. i wanna find someone else to be my shield, to be my fotress or sth lyk tt. to be there for me in times like these, and comfort/protect me from whatever stupid tings tt are going ard me. haiz... but i noe a r/s will haf its own problems too... so the pros n cons will prob balance. awww... lets just let nature take its course ba... i m so burdened with other tings tt i cant really thk straight abt love... today went swimming with jas. and we tok abt the past. she drilled the idea of its so wasted for u and **** to have just ended becuz of circumstances & misunderstandings into me. acty i have like totally been detached fr tis issue til she brought it up again, the possibility of us patching in the future, after i mentioned tt hl and bn still patching after so long. however, i just brushed off jas's idea cuz i m really tired, i no longer wanna thk abt tht issue. i just want to move on, looking back is really tired n taxing. Perhaps i have also realised the truth of what he said to me - "Maybe what we have may be great, but they are history." yah, they are all the past. once that momentum, tt magic moments is gone, then no matter how gr8 the r/s or how deep the love once was, everyting just ends. Fullstop. End of story. Period. time cannot turn back. but of cuz, what jas n i toked abt kinda also made me realised i haf learnt fr tis downfall. tho' we are nt exactly frens now, but i thk someday we will be lyk the frens we wer b4. mayb there is really such a possibility of us liking each other again when we meet in the working society, but right now, i m aware tt its not. it mite never be again, but regrets are beautiful too. even if we have stuck tog, we mite stil haf broken up due to the poly/jc diff. mayb, just mayb, if we r fated to b tog, then its not now lor, it will not occur now but later cuz God wants to reunite us next time when ther is not so much clash n diff b/w us. bla bla... toking abt tis issue always seems to sap away my emotional energy. haha. so i guess i dun wanna thk it already. just wana leave him behind first, i wanna move on first... if love returns, then gr8. but if it doesnt, den its just destiny lor. you yuan wu fen ba... love wrecks a jolly well frenship, so thk b4 u act. wa, v long entry... a thoughtful one also. feel much better now. 'chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi.' tis wat i believe!  cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be close to your special someone and feel warm, comfortable, and needed What Sign of Affection Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Signing out, pen is running out of ink. 0 wore their hearts on their sleeves <$BlogItemCommentCount$> Comments:<$BlogCommentBody$> By <$BlogCommentAuthor$>, at <$BlogCommentDateTime$> <$BlogCommentDeleteIcon$> |
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